Fir Humilation Rituals

Consider the Christmas tree.

You murder it (or someone else murders it on your behalf), and you take it into an unnatural, indoor environment that's probably far too hot. You keep the tree more or less alive by artificial means for a time, but all the while it's slowly dying anyway, and then, you humiliate it by dressing it up like a cheap tart. And then, to add insult to injury, many people place their tree by a window, where it can look out upon the world it has lost as it dies, being mocked by other trees who can see it standing there all covered with tinsel and cheap glass trinkets.

When it's all over, the tree doesn't even usually get a decent tree burial, but goes out with the garbage.

You people should be ASHAMED of yourselves! TREE HATERS, all of you!

Oh, and if you have an artifical tree, I hereby withdraw all negative accusations, and wish you a happy Fake Fir Humilation Ritual. Bah. Humbug.

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