Missycat's Principles of the Universe

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Editor's note: This site was originally created in about 1997, although it has, of course, been updated over the years. Sadly, Missycat, Cat Empress of the Universe, who inspired (and, we might say, ordered the creation of this website) is no longer with us, having lived a long, healthy, and happy cat life, expiring finally of old age at home in the immediate presence of her family on Sunday, 02 February, 2014. She was nineteen and a half years old. This site will remain online in loving memory of Missycat. This particular page is written in the present tense, first person, because that's the way it was originally written (and changing it all to past tense would be too heartbreaking).

I Am the Center of the Universe

All cats are the center of the universe. In fact, all creatures are the center of their own universes, so there's nothing unusual about cats doing it, is there?

I am a blue-cream tortoiseshell tabby domestic shorthaired cat. That means I'm mostly gray with brown and gold bits, and I have faint stripes. My eyes are gold, but they're a little bit green around the middle. According to my microchip, my name is Missycat, but my proper title is Cat Empress of the Universe. I will answer to Puss or Missy, though, when I feel like answering (you know how it is).

A particular human who knows a lot about cats saw me and declared that I'm probably at least part Burmese. It seems that Burmese were sacred temple cats, each with their own personal acolyte (read: Food Slave) to attend to their needs. I think this sounds about right, personally. And I do have a lot of typical Burmese characteristics.

I have a special hidey house which my people got for me. I can go inside it, sit on top of it, and scratch the outside of it. It's amazing how that works, by the way. I scratch my house and they tell me what a good cat I am. Whenever I want attention from them, I just wander over to the house and scratch and they praise me. Pretty cool how I have them trained to do that, eh?

I have two primary people, Bonni and Andrew. Bonni has been my person since I was a tiny, lost, hungry stray kitten, and we've been together since September, 1994. It was love at first sight for both of us. She and I have a very special relationship. We understand each other very, very well, and I can always tell when something's bothering her or she's upset. When that happens I go to rub on her leg or meow at her and remind her that things can't be that bad, since she has a cat. Cats are good at reminding you that no matter what your problems or worries or concerns are, there's always something more important, and it's the cat.

Andrew is my personal Food Slave (i.e., it is he who is responsible for making sure that the bottom of my bowl is never visible), and he's also the person who brushes me. Bonni used to, but Andrew does it so nicely and I like it so much that he's pretty much always the one who does it now. Bonni's still the one who trims my claws, though. I don't care much for having my claws trimmed, but it beats having them surgically removed, so I pretty much tolerate it and only complain a little about it so she understands that I don't think this is fun, thankyouverymuch.

Bringing me to Australia from the United States took a lot of paperwork and visits to the vet (yow!) and was quite expensive. Bonni likes to say that she didn't get an engagement ring but instead spent the money on having me come with her. I'm her Engagement Cat. Since I'm worth more than a hunk of shiny rock any day, I think that's fair enough.

There are a couple of human kittens here, too. The first one is called Zoë, and lots of times I sleep in her room, sometimes even on her bed, but usually underneath it, and if she leaves a drawer open, I'm totally there.

The other one is called Miranda, and sometimes I sleep with her, too. Her bed is up high, and that's a cool place to lie down. Both of them have proved their worthiness by giving me food, so I allow them to live in my domain. Sometimes I even like them a little bit.

I'm not a very cuddly cat. I don't much like being picked up, although I tolerate it sometimes. I don't like being kissed in the face, but Bonni does it, anyway. Most of the time I just put on a very annoyed expression and let her do it because she seems to like it and, well, I suppose I can be tolerent of her eccentricities. It's not like I like it or anything. And I don't wait for people at the door. Not at all. I often just happen to be near the door when they come back, but it's not like I wait for them or anything. That would be undignified. Oh, and I only sleep on people's beds because it's warm and comfy. It's not like I need their company.

For most of my life, I never went outside (except when people took me to the vet *shudder*). Then we moved to a place that had a special door just for cats, and I came and went as I pleased. I had the whole garden to myself, and I sometimes caught flying things (moths and bugs, mostly). Now I don't have a cat door, but I still like to go outside sometimes. I just have to use one of the people doors.

(There are lots more pictures of me in my person's online photo gallery).

Things I Like
  • My people, but I don't let on (it'd ruin my image if they knew I like them)
  • Boxes!
  • Sleeping on clean laundry, preferably in sunshine
  • Hidey places, especially closets, drawers, and cupboards
  • IAMS Cat Food
  • Being adored

Things I Don't Like

  • Strangers
  • Loud, sudden noises
  • Being removed from the clean laundry where I was sleeping
  • Having my claws trimmed
  • Having to go in the car
  • Visiting the vet
  • Other cats
  • Hairballs
  • A dirty litter tray
  • Mice (beneath my dignity)

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In loving memory of Missycat: 1994-2014

This site was last updated on Wednesday, 05 February, 2014.

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