Who the Heck is Bonni?

Name

My full legal name is Bonni Elizabeth Hall. This is not, in fact, the name I was given at birth. I changed my name for a lot of personal reasons, the greatest of which is that I was a very unhappy child and later a very confused, angry, dysfunctional adult, and after all the changes I finally went through and growth and healing I have achieved, I just don't feel like that same screwed-up person any more (thank goodness). Since I'm not that person, I don't want her name.

My first name, Bonni, is a variation of Bonnie, my maternal grandmother's name. I was extremely fond of my grandmother, who was another redheaded alto with a bit of an attitude. Using her name is one way in which I honor her, although I spell it my own way just because (mostly because I love having my name misspelt, or so it would seem). The name "Bonnie" (or any spelling variant thereof) is from the Latin bonus and it means "good", and was almost never seen as a given name until the twentieth century, although it was used as a nickname prior to that and was an adjective in some dialects of English (Scottish, particularly).

Elizabeth is a Latinized English form of the Hebrew Elisheba, and it means, more or less, "God's oath" or "Promise of God". It was also, of course, the name of a particularly important historical English Queen, one who gave her name to an entire era, and of lots of other famous women throughout history and up to the present day (including, of course, the current queen of England). It's a common name, but a distinctive one, and I like it very much.

Hall is so common as to be practically anonymous, and it's in something like the top fifteen most common surnames in the English language. It's slightly more distinctive than, say Smith or Jones or Johnson, but still good and ordinary. I like it for that very reason. I also like the number of jokes you can make about it (for example: I want to endow a university with a building, which will be called Hall Hall; everyone with the surname "Hall" is my cousin, including Arsenio, Darryl (partner of that Oates guy), Ed, Jerry, Town, City, etc.; at Christmas you can make jokes about people decking you with boughs of holly; ad nauseum).

You may have noted by the domain name and other clues that I am particularly fond of my name, and being as fond of my name as I am, I do have a smallish collection of quotes which have the name in them (and a collection of things with my name on them, including this domain). Shakespeare quotes are among my favorites (I'm a big fan of old Will). The best is certainly

I also like this one (from Richard III), which is used to describe the queen:

"...a cherry lip, a bonny eye, a passing pleasing tongue"

*ahem* Nuff said on that one, I think.

As for the run-of-the mill "Bonnie" quotes, I've heard them all. I've had My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean sung to me countless times (generally the singer seems to think they're the first to think of it), and while My Bonnie is not my favorite song, it's very cool to note that the first official recording on which The Beatles performed was a rendition of My Bonnie. I also want to note that my husband used to use the phrase "My Bonni lies over the ocean" in things like .plan files and other one-line information bits (given that he was in Australia and I was in the States, it was quite fitting).

I'm also not crazy about "Bonnie and Clyde" references, although I did get some email once from a rather charming Clyde who happened upon my pages. Neither am I a "wee bonny lass"; I'm too big to be "wee," and I'm too old to be a lass, alas.

Birthdate and Related Factoids

I was born in New York City in 1964. 1964 was an incredibly significant year historically for lots of reasons (aside from my birth, obviously). This makes me a Gemini, and it means my birthstone is an emerald, and in the Chinese zodiac, I'm a Dragon.

And despite having been born in 1964, which is apparently the last "official" year considered for a long time to be the Baby Boom generation, I absolutely am not a Baby Boomer. My outlook is distinctly different from that typical of Boomers. I am not a Baby Boomer, and I'm also not a GenXer (although I'm married to one). I am a member of "the lost generation". I am a member of Generation Jones, thank you.

Where I've Lived and Where I Live Now

My father was in the U.S. military, and so we moved often, about every two or three years, and so I've lived literally all over the U.S. and in Europe, and that gave me a love of travel.

I have the great pleasure of living in what has been called the "World's Most Livable City", Melbourne, in the state of Victoria, Australia. I cannot say enough nice things about Melbourne. I've been all over the world and seen some of the great cities, but nothing comes close to being as incredibly wonderful as Marvellous Melbourne.

Personality Traits

Because I can be talkative, chatty, and even perky (yes, it's true), people sometimes have the impression that I'm an extrovert. I assure you I am not. I'm very inner directed, and I live inside myself and look out into the world, and am more aware of how the world affects me than of how I affect it. According to The Keirsey Temperament Sorter, my Myers Briggs Personality Type is INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving), and everything I've read about this Type is absolutely correct for what I know of myself (which is quite a lot). INFP is one of the most unusual personality types, the most difficult sort of person to understand, and people with this personality type often find themselves feeling misunderstood and set apart. Possibly because we are. Possibly we're imagining it. Probably, it's some of both.

True to my Type, I am very passionate about things, and I'm known to periodically climb onto a soap box and rant (see RantSome, or check out my personal weblog and see for yourself). I am also deeply compassionate, very tender-hearted, and fairly easily hurt, all of which combine to make me into someone who tends to keep people at arm's length for a long time, until I feel I can really, really trusth them. Luckily (or unfortunately, depending on the situation), along with the passion comes a rather nasty temper and a biting, caustic wit which becomes evident when I'm very hurt or very angry. I mean, there is a reason I'm sometimes regarded as a bitch...

Over the past few years, I have learned to temper and control this tendency, but it's certainly still there, still very much a part of me. Only choice for me is to cope with it. The best choice for others is to avoid hurting me or making me angry. [insert one lopsided smirk] I've also had to learn to warn people when I'm having one of those days and I don't want to be pressured or teased. Learning to cope with myself has been.... interesting, to say the least. For other people, I dare say it hasn't been very enjoyable.

So, like any human being, I'm complex and variable in mood, attitude, and temperament, although I may be just a little more variable and have somewhat more distinctive mood switches. (Moods on steroids. With an attitude.) Still, what you see is what I am, and I do, certainly, tend to swim upstream in the classic mold-breaking, non-conformist, do-it-your-own-way eccentric. It may takes some time to get to know the many facets and sides of me, and there are some things I never show to anyone but those rare individuals who are extremely trusted and very close. Like a unicorn, I do tend to be fairly solitary, but for my mate.

I am known to use some profanity (generally when I want to really emphasize something or when I'm angry), but other than one website (RantSome) I do try to keep my websites reasonably free of extremely strong language, and if I deal with mature subject matter (hey, I'm a grownup, okay?), I generally make note of it so people can leave if they're likely to be offended by such things.

I'm called a smarta$$ on a regular basis, and it's true (in fact, I often call myself a smarta$$, although I don't say it with dollar signs for the S characters; see above paragraph). My usual answer to such a charge is to retort that it's better than being a dumba$$! It takes skill and wit to be a really good smartass. *serious nod*

My sense of humor does tend to be on the bawdy side, and I am also known to have a very black, macabre sense of humor, as well, and an extremely well-developed sense of irony. I heard many years ago that if you can learn to laugh at yourself, you'll never run out of things with which to be amused. That's certainly the truth, as far as I'm concerned.

Spirituality

My spiritual life is very personal and very real, and anyone who knows me is well aware of it. I don't talk about my deeply held beliefs in a general public forum, usually, because I find that people love to deride and criticize any sort of spiritual expression which doesn't agree with their own, and many people have no concept that some ideals and concepts are actually sacred to others, and therefore show no respect for anyone else's deeply held beliefs.

Others, of course, want to take their beliefs and shove them down everyone else's throats, and impose their morals and ethics and ideas on everyone else (completely discounting the notion of free will). Please note that this is true of people from all walks of life and all traditions and styles of religion and belief, including, I've found, paganism, Christinity, atheism, Islam, and secular humanism (among many others).

I make a point of refraining from forcing my personal beliefs on anyone else. I will and often do discuss spiritual matters in a private forum or an appropriate public forum and I have an entire domain which is dedicated to matters religious and spiritual) and I'm definitely not ashamed of what I believe or afraid to talk about it. I just don't have the energy or inclination to deal with those who would hassle me for my beliefs because they have some preconceived notion of who I am, or because what I believe conflicts with what they believe (Never wrestle with a pig, because it gets you dirty and the pig likes it, or, to be slightly more traditional, don't throw your pearls before swine).

And now, just for the record, I'll note that I am, in fact, a Christian, albeit a somewhat non-traditional one. If I blow away some of your stereotypes, great! If not, well, that's fine, too. St. Paul, in a letter to the Corinthians, wrote, "But by the grace of God I am what I am," and that's pretty much exactly how I feel about things these days. And well, I am one of God's peculiar people (see Titus 2:13-14, King James Version).

I also want to note that while I don't, in fact, necessarily "agree" with some other forms of spiritual expression and I think some things can be downright dangerous to mess with or just plain silly to embrace, I do not feel the need to elaborate on that most of the time. If I really feel like commenting, I just say "I don't believe in that," and the other person is welcome to tell me why they feel it's valid, and I listen. I may not ever agree, but I honestly do believe that we all have to find our path in this world and while I believe my path is right, and I certainly feel called to my faith, I don't actually know that it's the only valid way to experience the universe, God (in whatever form God comes), and life itself (and yes, I'm sure that some Christians and possibly others will conclude from this statement that I'm some sort of heretic or that I lack proper faith, but that's the way I feel and being judgemental about it isn't going to persuade me to see things any other way).

I do, for the record, reject a lot of stuff I hear/read, but I do at least open my mind and heart to listen, and this was a trait shared by some very godly, spiritual, and Christian leaders throughout history, including John Wesley and C.S.Lewis. I have decided to live my life openly and to look around me, and never to close my mind, although I certainly don't accept that much that falls too far out of the Biblical model of spiritual Christianity as I understand it (note: I don't generally take other people's interpretation of Bible texts as correct, as truth, or as accurate until and unless I've thoroughly researched and read the material for myself, as well; I just don't take well to being told what to think or what to believe).

I have done some study of Buddhism and found much wisdom there. The same is true of Judaism (from where Christianity got its foundation, after all), and Islam (I have known many Muslims and while I don't understand all of their customs and beliefs, I have for the most part found them to be decent and godly people). I've also found wisdom and insights in all sorts of other kinds of spirituality, including Zen, Taoism, Hinduism, and more. Just because I don't intend on becoming a Buddhist or a Muslim or whatever doesn't mean I have to reject out of hand 100% of what they teach and believe. No point throwing out the baby with the bathwater in my opinion.

Secular Studies and Interests

As for more worldy pursuits and studies, I studied fine and applied art and design in college, although I haven't managed to finish the degree quite yet (I did do most of the foundation level work). I don't know that I actually need one. I think if I did get one, it'd be in something relatively useless like art history (one of my great passions). I also have a fondness for general history and various forms of art, and creative writing holds a great deal of appeal.

Time, as they say, will tell. I may end up never finishing any degree at all, and still being far, far too well-educated for a woman who quit high school when she was sixteen...