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"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."
- Euripides
I get a ton of spam, and actively employ spam filters, spam reporting, and other means of controlling the disgusting stuff. I hate spam, and sometimes, I even write about spam... (And yes, the title of this category is from the Monty Python sketch, and yes, spam is called spam because of that sketch, and no, I have nothing against Hormel Spam™)
Spam Fortune Cookies
Wed, 06 May 09 Actual spam subject line: Forget about bad mood and be in a good mood all the time. Actual spam subject line: With a giant instrument you will feel a more important man. Actual spam subject line: I searching for new friends. Actual spam subject line: HELLO OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION One of my accounts got hacked
Mon, 23 Mar 09 I have a Gmail account that I don't use any more, although it's still there. The email to it gets forwarded to my everyday email account after passing through Spamcop's filters. I keep the account open because it's got stuff in it that I want to keep, and I still sometimes get legitimate mail through that account. I think I've probably mentioned maybe once or twice on this blog that I really despise spam, and I think spammers are the absolute scum of the planet. What's that? I have a whole blog category dedicated to spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam (baked beans are off, do you want spam, instead?)? Oh, yeah, that's right. I guess I have mentioned it. Well, proving once again that they are, indeed, the absolute scum of the planet, spammers managed somehow to get into the Gmail account that I no longer really use and sent spam to every person in my address book. That includes friends, family, business associates, and so forth. Happily, no one has emailed me in a rage demanding to know why I spammed them. Two of my friends have emailed me to let me know they got spam from my account, but both of them knew I wouldn't spam anyone deliberately and assumed correctly that my account had been compromised. I've taken all appropriate precautions with that account. Changed the password, deleted EVERY entry in the address book (since I don't use the account to mail from, I don't need them there), changed the secret question, and, since a couple of my own addresses were in that address book, I reported the spam I received, so the crappy spamvertised website will hopefully get kicked off their server by their host for spamming. The thing that bugs me the most is the thought that people got spam from MY account. I mean, I was on the net before spam was really a problem (yes, there was a time when that was the case). I've been a vigilant spam fighter and spam reporter since the sleazy spammers figured out how to abuse the network with their filth. The idea of MY account spewing forth this crap into cyberspace is quite horrifying. It's kind of like knowing someone went through your underwear drawer and actually wore your underpants: gross and disturbing. So, well, if you got spam from me, it wasn't from me, although I apologise, anyway. I'm still investigating, though I don't know how much I can actually find out, given that the spewing of spam took place on someone else's server and not my own, and I've got exactly zero access to any of the logs, etcetera. I have a few friends who practice various sorts of magic(k). Perhaps I might enlist their assistance in putting a hex on the person or persons who did this... Hmmmm...... *evil laughter* More proof that Phishers and Scammers are Stupid
Wed, 04 Mar 09 I found this totally hilarious. This (shown only in part) arrived in my inbox just now (yes, I reported it as spam immediately), and I opened it because I was mildly curious as to how it got past my spam filtering. This is the first paragraph: Dear Beneficiary, Naturally, they want me to send them my name, address, occupation, phone and fax number, and bank account information, along with other information that nobody needs to have, least of all Microsoft. Furthermore, I don't have an account at any of the providers mentioned (okay, I do have a Yahoo ID, but that's about it). And why on earth would Microsoft be running a sweepstakes with the prize in Pounds Sterling? And have some random address in the UK where I'm supposed to send all these details? But the thing that really made me laugh was that the entire message was formatted in.... wait for it.... Comic Sans. Still giggling. Maybe you need to be a graphic designer to fully appreciate just why I think it's so funny.... My Honey Pot Caught a Harvester!
Mon, 01 Dec 08 I participate in Project Honey Pot, which is "the first and only distributed system for identifying spammers and the spambots they use to scrape addresses from your website". (Follow the link above to learn more, including how you can participate, and you don't even need to be a site administrator.) So today, I got an email which informed me that a honey pot I installed successfully identified a previously unknown email harvester. It made my geeky, spam-hating heart very happy, indeed. Just in case you're as geeky and spam-hating as I am, there's "more information about the new harvester my honeypot identified online if you want to have a squizz (good Aussie slang there, I think). Isn't it funny, how spammers love honey, buzz, buzz, buzz, I wonder why it does.... (apologies to A.A. Milne.) Spam Volumes Drop by Two-Thirds After Firm Goes Offline
Wed, 19 Nov 08 Missing 'spam king' kills self, family
Fri, 25 Jul 08 (I've always maintained that spammers are the scum of the planet. Here's yet more evidence for that.) Diary of a Spammed Housewife
Wed, 02 Jul 08 (Note: If you weren't already aware, this project definitely highlighted the connection between spam and criminal activity. Those who think spam is "just a nuisance" are wrong. It's more than a nuisance. It's dangerous.) 419 Scammer Work of Hilarity
Tue, 10 Jun 08 I don't normally pay any attention to the Nigerian scam emails I get. I just report them and get on with my life. But this one really caught my attention. I love how FedEx uses Gmail and has lost contact with the sender via Western Union and calls on the name love of God and the Spirit of the Lord.... This was obviously written by a truly, TRULY clueless scammer. I hope and pray that nobody would be stupid enough to fall for this one (which is why I've removed any/all contact information), but it was such an amusing read, I just had to share it. GFedEx Courier Head Office 70 International Airport Road & nbsp; Mafoluku, Lagos. Email: fedex.serviceXXX_@googlemail.com Tel:.+234-808-102-XXX_ "Spam king" pleads guilty to felony fraud
Sun, 16 Mar 08 Prolific spammer's felony conviction upheld
Tue, 04 Mar 08 What Goes Around Comes Around for Notorious Spammer Alan Ralsky
Fri, 04 Jan 08 And a line farther down in the article which I feel is rather an understatement: News of the indictment brought cheers from anti-spammers. It's Not About the Spam
Fri, 02 Nov 07 I laughed out loud a couple times watching this. Could be because I'm a geek. Or maybe it's because I use Gmail. Or maybe because I hate spam. Or all three! Are YOU talking to ME?!
Thu, 01 Nov 07 Got this today in my spamtrap: when to stop blogging I think the spambastards are on to me... They're trying to SILENCE me! That's it! Well, if anything happens to this blog, I have a packet of information that's going to be sent to a certain individual and then the truth will be known! So don't you try anything, Random J. Spammer! I'm on to you! Well, it's about time!
Fri, 13 Jul 07 I keep getting phishing emails claiming that I've received an ecard. Mind you, they never tell me who its from, or rather, they do, but it's always ridiculous. So far I've "received an ecard" from: a schoolmate and a few others that I can't recall. Today, though, I got this: You've received an ecard from a Worshipper! My inner goddess must be showing.... Spammers really ARE the scum of the earth
Wed, 07 Mar 07 Okay. The spammer has gone to a distributed attack. From the looks of the IP addresses involved, he/they have a bunch of zombie machines, that is, computers infected with trojans that run the script. This pisses me off because there are apparently so many COMPLETE MORONS out there who manage to get this crap on their computer to begin with. Hello, ever hear of, oh, I don't know, VIRUS PROTECTION? How about maybe not clicking on everything any random person sends you, think that could help?! Okay, that vent over, now to the f#%king bastard who keeps doing this: YOU'RE AN IDIOT, MATE! Crashing my server with your poorly written bot will NOT cause your website to have better rankings in the search engines!!! For now, we've disabled comments, because we've completely removed mt-comments.cgi and we're setting up various means of preventing the spam attacks. They're hitting the script from the outside, that is, they're totally by-passing any pages or blogs, and just going directly. Now that there IS NO SCRIPT there, they can't call it. We're also doing several other things, including rebuilding the kernal so that traffic has a better connection throttle and we'll be looking at upgrading Movable Type (I haven't done it in too long, I admit it) and a few other tricks we've found. This kind of comment spamming is, apparently, all too common. On a really big server, it just slows it down. On a small server like ours, it kills it completely. So, well, no comments for an indefinite period. If you want to talk to me, feel free to email, though. Firm 'ordered to pay spam costs'
Wed, 07 Mar 07 SYN Flooding
Tue, 06 Mar 07 Okay. Yes, our server's been off and on for a few days. It's the same problem as we had before, probably the same idiot comment spammer, running a script that effectively creates a SYN flood, which is a kind of Denial of Service Attack. This time we've recompiled the kernal and added a few things to throttle traffic and shut down inappropriate multiple responses, plus we've set the firewall up with an extensive block of IPs (I mean a really BIG block, too). The IP block will keep him out for a while, but as this happened a month ago, I'd reckon it won't be long before he's back on yet another ISP and we'll have to block that, as well (we may end up blocking most of Russia, and for that I do apologise, but I doubt there's a great deal on our servers of particular interest to most Russians, anyway, so I don't think they're missing much). You can see some more of this idiot's work in this guestbook, which has been autospammed just about to death. Fortunately for them, it didn't kill their server (it kills ours for a couple of technical hypergeeky reasons I won't go into). So that's the deal. Wish us luck that with the new throttling and IP blocks and other precautions, we'll be able to keep this f#$%ing b@st@rd away from our server. I can tell you I'm sending the worst vibes I can manage! Server is ACTUALLY back
Tue, 06 Feb 07 The message Andrew sent to users on the server: G'day caffeine-users. As you may be aware, our favourite server has been on and off for a couple What you may not be aware of is it's thanks to a spammer trying to spam We're not sure which blog it was they were trying, but whatever it was, We have taken steps to ensure that this particular attack vector will not Apologies for the downtime, and thanks for your patience. Cheers, I have long said that spammers are the absolute scum of the earth, haven't I? Well, this is the sort of crap these pathetic losers do! Spammers as scammers
Sun, 03 Dec 06 Why stock scammers are losing the game
Tue, 21 Nov 06 (I've always wondered who is stupid enough to buy stocks recommended to them by random anonymous spammers...) British ISP fires back at spammers
Mon, 16 Oct 06 CAPTCHAs (yes, again)
Fri, 06 Oct 06 Just got spam through one of the mailforms I hadn't fixed yet (on a different domain). Fixed it immediately. And you know what? Every time I put a CAPTCHA on a mailform, I just feel like raising up my middle finger to the sky and shouting "F**K YOU, YOU SPAMMING BASTARDS!" Only without the asterisks. Virginia Spammers Go To Jail, And Pay For It
Sat, 09 Sep 06 HAHAHAHA!!!! Spammers getting scammed!
Fri, 26 May 06 F#$&ing SPAMMERS
Wed, 26 Apr 06 I'm going to have to put a CAPCHA (Completely Automated Public Turing Test to Tell Computers and Humans Apart) on my mailforms. I keep getting automated spam for all kinds of complete crap. I've started banning IP addresses (because my mailform tells me the precise IP address the mail came from, making it easy to do), but I can't keep doing that indefinitely. It's ticking me off, it really is. And it's not even that my mail isn't filtered, because it certainly is. It's that when I see the header from a mailform I instantly recognize it and, previously, I was able to know what it was about AND that it wasn't spam. Now I can tell it's spam (because they're idiots and make it obvious even before I've opened the message), but it's caught in my spam trap or something and I have to retrieve it. These idiot moron sleaze bastards are robbing me of my most precious commodity, time. They're also stealing something I can't really afford to lose, and that's patience (I've got precious little of that and I need it, dammit). So, I hereby put a curse on anyone and everyone who sends spam through any of my mailforms. May the annoyance and irritation that you willfully inflict on others return to you threefold. So be it. Jailed spam king caught conspiring to kill witness
Sun, 26 Mar 06 Spammer lands $11 billion fine
Sat, 07 Jan 06 FBI raid shuts down world's most prolific spammer
Thu, 03 Nov 05 But it's not spam, right?
Mon, 26 Sep 05 I keep getting emails advertising a particular php type site (that is, they have scripts and other php-related materials on the site). And when I say I keep getting them, I mean sometimes to the tune of several a day, but at least once a week. When I first started getting them I checked the email to see what it was about, but I don't recognize the site and I certainly never asked to be spammed with email telling me to visit it. The thing that ticks me off the most is that every email from these idiots insists that it's not spam. Is it unsolicited? Is it commercial? Is it in my spamtrap? Well, hey, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck.... They say, in the body of the message, that they obtained my email address "from legitimate sources" whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. Not that I joined an opt-in list, not that I signed up for their site, nothing of that sort, but that they got it from "legitimate sources". Well, I won't say what site it is because there's no way I'm going to give them any traffic, but they really need to stop sending me this crap if they want me to stop reporting it for what it is: SPAM. ATTENTION: If you're using Andrew's (Alicorna) mailform script
Mon, 12 Sep 05 There is yet ANOTHER new exploit out there that the idiot spammers have figured out to use. This is pretty obscure and fairly recent. For nine years (since Andrew first wrote that script for me in 1996) that mailform and things based on it (such as the graphic set registration which isn't online any more and the other download registration one) was very secure. Leave it to the spammers to figure out how to screw with people's servers to spew forth their garbage.... It is mostly unlikely that people have worked out how to hack that script, BUT it's possible, so if you're using it or any variation of it, please go to Alicorna and get the new one and install that one instead. He hasn't (yet) updated the Graphics Download script, but I'll let you know when he does. It's not online at the moment, but I'll put it online when it's updated so people can get it easily. For now, if you're using the mailform go here and download the updated version just to be on the safe side. No registration required, just download and off you go. I swear, spammers really are the absolute scum of the earth. Russian Media Hails Spammer’s Murder
Thu, 28 Jul 05 (Let this be a lesson to you: "Spam kills!" or, as my amusing husband put it, "For God's sake, don't spam!") And another article that might be of interest:
Talk about nerve!
Tue, 21 Jun 05 We've been working on getting Spamassassin working on our server. So far, we're still busy seeding the database, and as a result, I've got a couple of my addresses going to my shell account on the server (so I can save the mail and easily add it to the database, although we now have another means of doing that and I'll probably redirect it back to spamcop.net now). So anyway, I went just now to find that there was an email waiting for me. Since I use a text-only reader on the server (well, DUH, what else are you going to use in that situation), any HTML or attached images or other junk isn't visible. Here's the message I just got as it appeared in my mail reader (the address they sent it to has been obscured; the address it's from is obviously fake): Date: Tue, 21 Jun 2005 01:13:29 -0600 Get a capable html e-mailer
Don't you love that? I should get a capable HTML e-mailer so that I can read their f*%#ing UNSOLICITED CRAP?! Normally, I don't pay any attention to spam, don't even open it, but this time I did because of the spamtrap filter thingy, and I'm sorry I bothered. From here on, that address is going to be redirected to spamcop and filtered there and every message that comes in will be REPORTED. And NO, I will NOT use an HTML capable mail program just to read SPAM. maybe, but maybe not....
Thu, 05 May 05 Spam title: Can you afford to ignore SmallCaps? well, i dunno, can i? LOL!
Sat, 16 Apr 05 It's pretty rare that I actually find spam funny, but just now in my spam filter I saw this: Makes you great in bed. Now all you have to do is get laid. Alleged email spammer raided in Perth
Mon, 11 Apr 05 First Convicted Spammer Gets 9 Years
Sat, 09 Apr 05 Interview with a link spammer
Fri, 04 Feb 05 (Personal note, this is a good part of why I don't have comments enabled here or anywhere else. You're welcome to email me, though.) Spamusement!
Tue, 25 Jan 05 Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines! (Too funny, go have a look, I swear I was actually having to wipe my eyes I was laughing so much!) Spammed man sued by alleged spammer wants cash
Thu, 20 Jan 05 Texas Seeks Millions from Major 'Spam' Operation
Tue, 18 Jan 05 Court Stops Spammers from Circulating Unwanted Sexually-Explicit E-mails
Sat, 15 Jan 05 'Spam King' To Stop Invading Computers
Thu, 06 Jan 05 Spam-fighting FAQ
Fri, 10 Dec 04 Just thought I'd pass on this link, in case anyone might be interested: spamfaq.net. Won't that give me a stomach ache?
Tue, 07 Dec 04 Just got this spam caught in my spamtrap: Get supper Sized bonni! What a question
Tue, 30 Nov 04 I keep getting spam messages with this title: Are You Lonely or Horney? Uhhhh, are these my only options? D'oh!
Sat, 06 Nov 04 Just got this spam: Homer asked me to forward this to you
D'oh! Gee, it doesn't sound too professional to me...
Sat, 06 Nov 04 Just got this spam title (unedited; hope you're not too offended by the profanity): special offer on Microshit Project 2003 Professional $60
Oh, okay then!
Thu, 14 Oct 04 Just got this in my spam trap: (NOT A SPAM) TURN $6 INTO $600000 IN 15 WEEKS But it's not spam.... Warspammer guilty under new federal law
Thu, 14 Oct 04 Subject: SPAM: The spam to end all spam.
Tue, 05 Oct 04 DEAR SIR/MADAM, THIS IS A PERSONAL EMAIL T0 YOU ONLY. I AM THE SON OF SPAM SPADE, THE I AM USING THIS MEDIUM T0 REACH YOU. HOWEVER I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE AND THIS IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL, YOUR CO-OPERATION IS NECESSARY. YOUR RESUME WAS SELECTED AS BEING HIGHLY QUALIFIED, BUT THIS IS NOT SPAM! THIS IS FREEDOM FROM DEBT - CUT YOUR MORTGAGE IN HALF WITH OUR AMAZING REMOTE-CONTROL PASTA POT. THIS OFFER IS FREE. YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO DELETE IT AT ANY TIME. Y0UR PILLS ARE BEING HELD IN AN INEXPENSIVE DIGITAL CABLE DESCRAMBLER BOX GUARDED BY TEENY TITS CARRYING EXPLOSIVE LOADS. THE LOWEST RATES ARE LOCKED IN, ALONG WITH YOUR FREE GIFT. THESE PILLS MUST BE TRANSFERED TO YOUR ACCOUNT USING A HAND-HELD ORGANIZER WHICH MAY BE OBTAINED FROM A FREE GOVERNMENT-AUCTION WEB SITE. BY VIEWING PHOTOS OF SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, INCLUDING HORNY WIVES, YOU CAN LOOK YOUNGER, LOSE WEIGHT, AND INCREASE YOUR STAMINA WHILE DRIVING PRE-QUALIFIED CUSTOMERS TO YOUR MULTILEVEL PROGRAM AND MAKE OVER $4000 PER MONTH GUARANTEED. THESE PILLS WILL NOT ONLY MAKE YOU LOOK 3" LONGER, THEY WILL GET RID OF YOUR FLEAS AND TICKS FOR GOOD! SIMPLY COPY ANY DVD TO YOUR FREE INTERNET DOMAIN AND BEGIN YOUR ANTI-AGING PROGRAM TODAY. THE PLAN IS SIMPLE. Y0U WILL USE NORTON SYSTEMWORKS (A $300 VALUE FOR ONLY $38.95) TO PURCHASE 37 MILLION SHARES OF TONER CORP STOCK. THEN YOU WILL MEET ME AT THE WORLD'S SMALLEST DIGITAL CAMERA WITH $30,000 IN CORAL CALCIUM. WARNING: DO NOT TAKE ANY HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE OR YOU WILL NOT QUALIFY FOR YOUR FREE GIFT. ONCE YOU RECONNECT WITH YOUR HIGH-SCHOOL FRIENDS, YOUR FREE CREDIT REPORT WILL BE SENT. WITH THIS REPORT, YOU CAN BUILD YOUR OWN ONLINE CASINO. ONCE INSIDE THE CASINO, YOU WILL SUBSCRIBE TO KARA'S FREE FAN CLUB, WHERE YOU WILL BE ENTERED IN A DRAWING TO PROTECT YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM. DO NOT FAIL TO DO THIS, OR I WILL REDUCE THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS BY THREE INCHES! KARA'S WEB SITE WILL POP UP 6,000 PAGES, ALL OF WHICH YOU WILL HAVE TO CLOSE BY CLICKING THEM. FOR EACH ONE YOU CLICK, TWO MORE WILL APPEAR. AFTER YOU COMPLETE YOUR ONLINE DEGREE (IN 8 MONTHS OR LESS), I WILL SEND YOU A HOT AMATEUR MP3 THAT WILL CONSOLIDATE YOUR DEBT USING ONLINE AUCTIONS. NOT EVEN CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, OR OPRAH WILL KNOW OUR SECRET! N0W Y0U WILL BE READY TO RECEIVE THE PILLS. YOU WILL USE THE AUCTION SITE TO FIRE YOUR BOSS AND CLAIM YOUR PORTABLE DVD PLAYER FROM THE SECRET ANTI-WRINKLE AGENT. NEXT, BOOST YOUR CELLULAR RECEPTION AND DRIVE OUR TEENY LOLITAS WILD WITH HUMAN PHEROMONES MADE FROM PRE-OWNED INKJET CARTRIDGES. YOU WILL TRADE THE PHEROMONES FOR A SINGLE GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL FILLED WITH A FREE THIRTY-DAY SUPPLY, WHICH WILL ENLARGE YOUR PACKAGE EVEN FURTHER. THE HERBAL INGREDIENTS IN THIS PACKAGE WILL INCREASE YOUR REVENUE PROJECTIONS BY 3" AND CLEAN THE INNER WALLS OF YOUR INTESTINES. REMEMBER, THIS IS NOT A SLEEP REMEDY, THIS AMAZING PRODUCT TARGETS THE BACTERIA THAT ACTUALLY CAUSE SNORING! 0UR PSYCHICS ARE STANDING BY TO TAKE YOUR ORDER. GIVE THEM YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER AND WAIT FOR THE BEEP. YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE ULTIMATE SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH AND A FREE CREDIT CHECK. DEPOSIT THIS CHECK IN A PRE-APPROVED ACCOUNT, AND YOU WILL TAKE HOME 40% OF THE PILLS. THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE TRANSACTION. THE RESULTS ARE GUARANTEED. THIS IS A COMPLETELY SECURE INVESTMENT. I HOPE YOU WILL HELP ME AND MY FAMILY AS WE ARE IN DESPERATE NEED. PLEASE REPLY ASAP. SINCERELY, P.S., IF YOU WANT TO BE REMOVED FROM THIS MAILING LIST, SIMPLY GO TO Note: There's an entry on this one at Snopes, the Urban Legends Site. And their comment that it scores 31.1 on SpamAssassin is funny, but I once had a spam that scored 45, believe it or not (I didn't look to see why it scored so high, but I did take note of the score at the time). ADD 3 INCHES TO YOUR PENIS WITH CHEAP PRINTER CARTRIDGES MADE FROM 50% VIAGRA - HAND CRAFTED BY SEX-CRAZED HIGH SCHOOL LESBIAN SLUTS SOAKED IN PHEROMONES
Thu, 30 Sep 04 Microsoft Sues Web Hoster, Others Over Spam
Sun, 26 Sep 04 Bloody stupid Microsoft
Tue, 14 Sep 04 Microsoft seem to have taken on the job of educating people about spam. To that effect, they've put up a page about spam and what to do about it. Most of the advice is fine, except for this little ignorant gem:
Uhm, yeah, do you suppose ANYONE at Microsoft has ever actually gotten any spam or do they live in a spam-proof bubble or something? I couldn't let it go unchallenged. I sent them a message via their feedback form. Here's what I wrote (slightly edited to remove unnecessary redundancy):
History of Spamming
Tue, 14 Sep 04 Although spamming has existed on the Internet since as early as 1978, the first major spamming incidents didn't take place until the early 1990s. Spamming began becoming a major problem at the same time that the Internet began its exponential mainstream expansion in 1993 (also known as Eternal September). (Hmmm, that's right when I was getting on the net, actually...) Going price for network of zombie PCs: $2,000-$3,000
Fri, 10 Sep 04 How's this for a spam subject?
Tue, 24 Aug 04 glorify Bonni Normally, I think spammers are full of crap, but in this case, I think they have a point... OUCH!
Tue, 20 Jul 04 Spam subject: Like an afterburner for your penis. How did this spammer know...
Sat, 10 Jul 04 Okay, how did this spammer find out that I have a thing for weddings? Bonni fetishist 826 brides Yeah, this will fool me...
Sat, 10 Jul 04 Spam subject: Remove all your computer traces lobotomyUhm, I think I would have to have actually had a lobotomy to fall for that... How's this for a subject line?
Sat, 26 Jun 04 *ahem* crankshaft my circulant commercial column bodied infirm lodge bodleian temple sandpiper flush jubilate childbear motivate removal carburetor set churchgoer dadaist junk senate basel claudio canopy bandpass dinnertime outrageous netherlands conqueror bound peridotite brendan carven kidnapped Yeah, I'm really going to fall for that and open it... Russia and China 'behind current spam deluge'
Thu, 10 Jun 04 I've always believed that spammers are scum. This pretty much confirms it: Spammer Sentenced to Seven Years in Prison
Fri, 28 May 04 Atlanta-based Internet service provider Earthlink Inc. said it hoped the sentence and an earlier $16.4 million civil judgment against Howard Carmack will deter other spammers. Annoying? Absolutely. But mildly amusing...
Wed, 26 May 04 The spam was entitiled, "Stop these annoyying messages here". Naturally, it was in my spam filter (and NOT in my inbox). But I was so intrigued I had a look at the contents:
First of all, I'm not Candy (although if you are what you eat, I might feasably be chcoolate, but I'm more likely to be Diet Coke). Secondly, my spam filter was working perfectly, thanks. Thirdly, although generally speaking I think spammers are the absolute scum of the internet, at least this one (or whomever came up with this spam campaign) was somewhat clever and a little bit funny. It's better than asking me if my penis is big enough, anyway. Okay, but why?
Tue, 25 May 04 Just got this spam message in my spam can: Uhm.... Does Wicheta actually need dialation? If so, why? Bloody bastard spammers
Thu, 13 May 04 I've noticed an anomoly on our server. Andrew hasn't seen it firsthand because it always seems to take place late at night, and normally I'm the only one using the server that time of day. Huge amounts of system resources were being gobbled up, to the point of visibly slowing down a lot of stuff (like, say, the web server). I kept reporting it, but I couldn't pin it down (I'm more or less competent in a Unix system in a limited way, but really, the workings of the mail server and a lot of other processes are beyond me). I did get some basic information on what was going on, though, and it seems that there were mail spools backed up in the system. Several spools of "outgoing" mail, several of them over a hundred megabytes in size. YOUCH! Well, Andrew investigated today (with the information I gathered last night) and it seems it was due to -- don't look shocked now -- spam. No, we weren't being used as a spam relay or anything (which was what I feared), but it seems that our system receives around 300 spam messages a day that are addressed to addresses that the spammers just "guess" at. You know, webmaster, dns, info, contact, etc., and then a lot of common names and so on. Three HUNDRED of these a day, every day (now tell me that spam isn't a problem, how much bandwidth is that wasting?). So the thing that was happening was all these non-deliverable messages were being collected and our server was trying to figure out where to send the bounce message. Since 99.9999% of spam has forged headers, obviously the poor mail program couldn't work it out. So it was just going a little loopy, and gobbling up system resources while doing it. Nice, huh? Andrew's reconfigured the system now so that it just plain rejects mail for non-existent users, which means it's the problem of the mail system that sent the mail out. Since that system is the one spewing out the spam (presumably; there's only so far a spammer can go to forge the headers), they're the ones who ought to be dealing with it, anyway. Of course, this means that people who send mail to our system but use a poorly formatted address (typo or whatever) will get a bounce message that isn't very helpful, but unfortunately, that's just the way things are and have to be. Spammers are the absolute scum of the earth. They use up everyone else's time and resources, they abuse other people's servers and exploit open services and ports, they deliberately do stuff to bypass spam filters (Hello! If I have a spam filter it means that I DON'T WANT SPAM!), and they're basically just disgusting and sleazy as hell. As far as I can see, no matter what other redeeming quality a spammer might have, their deliberate abuse of the system earns them a LOT of bad karma. I hope they're all reincarnated as slugs or some other creature that crawls on its belly and eats decomposing organic matter. SpamCop Fights Back
Thu, 13 May 04 And on a related note, this quote is from Spamcop's own discussion boards:
Wow, isn't spam informative?
Tue, 04 May 04 Just had this in my spam trap: codiene will ease pain Really? It WILL?! Who knew?! BAR, I DEFY YOU!!!!
Mon, 03 May 04 Found this spam title rather amusing: only you can defy bar And so I do! Bar, consider yourself defied! Uhm, yeah, that'll fool me...
Wed, 14 Apr 04 Just got this stuck in my spam filter: GET YOUR UNIVERSITY DIPLOMA.. chose piece feature parley beebread architect carborundum adhere mckinley curdle preferring dick faraday forgiven paradigm crosswalk accommodate stayed persian elizabeth caspian bottommost dakar infelicity donate astarte meant administer tiny women cloud Uhm, yeah. I'm convinced. I'll do business with these people RIGHT AWAY! Oh, well, At least it's more interesting than another spam I got, which was entitled: Message subject Presidential candidates send millions of e-mails
Tue, 17 Feb 04 In other words, it's an unsolicited, bulk-emailed message with a link inside. Yeah. That's just what the average voter needs to make up their mind. SPAM. More on our server issues
Thu, 05 Feb 04 Okay, first of all, it seems that the full internet service has FINALLY been resolved. We are now on a much faster connection, both incoming and outgoing. Whew. No word on what the service provider actually intends to do about it, as far as the billing. And now, it appears, upon detailed inspection, that the goal of the hacking attempt was our mail server. Spammers (or scammers) deliberately hacked into our machine (and did it very poorly, I should add) and managed to crash it because they were trying to send a HUGE amount of mail. We're still repairing the damage to the mail server. This, by the way, is known as "server rape" and if you could see the damage done, you'd see why. Now try to tell me that spam is "harmless" and that all you have to do is "hit delete". Spammers are absolutely the scum of the internet, in my opinion. Evil, scheming bastards, that's about the size of it. Mr. Spam Man
Wed, 04 Feb 04 Well, when you see her...
Wed, 21 Jan 04 Got this caught in my spam filter: I NEED YOUR ASSISTANT!!! Yeah, me, too! Whenever you see her, will you send her in here? Sheesh! Random Acts of Spamness
Wed, 14 Jan 04 Well, I'm not surprised
Tue, 13 Jan 04 Got this subject line in my spam filter: i don't understand darupcmxfu oeabb What a coincidence! I don't understand darupcmxfu oeabb either! I guess I'll have to immediately read that completely and do business with the company/person who sent it! Not. Legal bid to break through the spam jam
Sun, 11 Jan 04 10,000 messages and counting
Wed, 17 Dec 03 I've had my spamcop address for a couple of years. I've just noticed that 10,000 messages have gotten caught in my spam filter in that time. Mind you, some of them were legitimate emails (because I use a very high level of filtering just out of preference; if I set it lower, I'd get far fewer false positives, but more spam would hit my inbox). I'd say that maybe 5%-10% of the mail that gets stuck in my spam filter is legitimate mail. The rest really is spam, pure and simple. So, let's say that 90% of the recorded items in my spam filter have been spam, that's 9,000 spam messages caught, reported, and deleted. Now tell me my paid account isn't worth the US$45 a year for two accounts (Andrew's and mine). From the Spam Can
Fri, 12 Dec 03 Subject lines found in my spam can today (no, I didn't read ANY of the messages or open them in any way; I just skim the titles): FORGET Viagra Good idea. Discount enlar-gem`ent p.i-ll_s Which discount will these pill enlarge? Billroberts Completely safe and doctor endorsed Is he, now? Because of You........ ragntph c blbqt Hey, don't go blaming ragntph c blbqt on me. I had nothing to do with it! At least it's honest
Fri, 05 Dec 03 Caught in my spam filter: Stop emails like this one Uh, dude, I just did. But thanks for thinking of me, eh? Unwanted ads prompt 'spam rage'
Tue, 25 Nov 03 IronPort to acquire SpamCop
Fri, 21 Nov 03 Idiot Spammers
Mon, 17 Nov 03 Just got this "suggested site" for the web design resource index I maintain on the Alicorna domain:
Obviously, I'm not including the URL. Also obviously, I'm not adding it to the list. Yes, I blocked their IP address. Bloody morons. Wow, a useful spam!
Sat, 15 Nov 03 Earlier this week I got a spam inviting me to buy the domain elizabyte.com for $89.95. I reported it as spam and deleted it from my filter. Today I got ANOTHER one. I was curious, so I went to my domain registrar and checked, and it was available to register (it hasn't been for some years, but I guess the owner let it expire). So I registered it. Two years, fifteen bucks. The actual spam (with URLs edited to protect the guilty):
Well, no need for that, you moron. But thanks for letting me know it was available, eh? (For those who might be interested, I've got it set up to forward to elizabyte.net at the moment; I may eventually use it for something else, but I did want to have it, so there you go.) Yeah, mate, that's right
Thu, 16 Oct 03 Just got this in my spam filter: Powerful Anti Spam Filter Get some, lose some
Thu, 16 Oct 03 From the title of a spam that got caught in my filter which, while I didn't open it to find out, was almost certainly for some sort of penis enlargement scam: I b:ec*a;me tw.ic*e t`he m^an I use t"o b.e ... and lost my ability to type. Or maybe he's typing with his newly enlarged member? Hmmmm.... Spam senders will face hefty fines
Thu, 18 Sep 03 I'm in agreement that it's not going to have much impact, but I like the idea of it, anyway. Unfortunately, the Australian Parliament has a history of passing laws about the internet that can't possibly be enforced, mostly because the average member of Parliament is about as technically savvy as my cat and they won't listen to the real technical experts. Still, it's an interesting read, if nothing else. I think I already have it, mate
Fri, 12 Sep 03 Got this stuck in my spam filter today: The powerful, effective and intelligent anti-spam tool. Hmmm. Well, you're in my filter and I've just reported you to the originating system. Hey! It works! Unbelievable
Thu, 11 Sep 03 I used to always have a Hotmail account to be my "trashcatcher" account. I'd use that for things like downloads and such that require a working address but where I don't trust the site enough to give my proper one (yes, it's filtered, but I'd still rather not be bothered by more spam than necessary). Anyway, that account expired, so I went and made a new one, with a different login name. I've had this account for less than 24 hours. It's ALREADY got spam in it. Several pieces. My only thought is that the address was previously used by someone else, but it's a really unusual word for the login name, so that seems dubious. I wonder, does Hotmail just hand out your email address instantly? Their privacy policy indicates that they don't, but when you get spam in an account you've had for less than a DAY, you really, REALLY have to wonder what the hell is going on... Cool, a new word
Sun, 07 Sep 03 I expect that most people have gotten those spam messages which, instead of having a subject line, have an odd or unusual word to get your attention. The first time it happened to me I figured it was spam, but checked anyway to be sure. I don't fall for it any more, of course, because no one I know or anyone I woulddo business with sends me emails with a single, obscure word in the subject line. Anyway, that being said, today in the spam filter was a piece of mail with a very interesting word for the subject line. I was so intrigued I looked it up in my handy American Heritage Dictionary (which I have installed on the hard drive, because I'd lose a real book dictionary if I had it in this mess that might have a desk under it). Today's word is: catabolic, found in the dictionary by its noun form, ca·tab·o·lism. It means, The metabolic breakdown of complex molecules into simpler ones, often resulting in a release of energy. So there you go. Spam is good for something, anyway. Or at least, this one was. And I still didn't open it to see the contents and I still reported it to the originating network, so there you go. Poor Spammers
Wed, 03 Sep 03 Awwww. Those poor, maligned spammers. People hate them, call them names (like, oh, "sleazy bastards"), sue them, it's just all so distressing. Good thing spammers can join a support group to help them when life is just so, so unfair. After all, what kind of mean, thoughtless person doesn't want their penis enlarged and their mortgage reduced? People are just SO mean... The Pain of Automatic Translators
Mon, 28 Jul 03 I got an email in my spam filter that had the title, "The Magic of Artistic Paper-Cuts". I figured it was spam (it was), but I was intrigued, so I had a peek inside. Amid the JavaScript, image links, and other crap (which is just gibberish since my mail reader and my spam filtering system are both 100% plain text), I found this jewel of a paragraph: We are one of the biggest arts providers based in China. We can supply you with high-quality, artistic, and customized paper-cuts. Our paper-cuts are developed for all kinds of use in both daily life and business. We will also meet any design challenge! I think they don't quite understand what "paper cut" means in English... Still, now I have this image of a new type of body modification, delicate scarification via papercuts... Well, this is actually true...
Thu, 03 Jul 03 According to a spam I just reported (it was caught in my filter, bwahahah):
Well... 300% of zero is zero, so I guess they really could increase my sperm volume to that level... (Isn't math weird?) Telemarketers eye alternatives
Thu, 03 Jul 03 More moron spammers
Thu, 26 Jun 03 Just reported a spam with this subject line:
Now tell me this person's not a bloody idiot... Senate Committee Pushes Can Spam Act One Step Closer To Passage
Sun, 22 Jun 03 Gee, I wonder what this could be?
Tue, 20 May 03 Just noted an email in my spam filter with this subject line: imidbg iyjg kt iygtg lsaarlp s q u xokln h k vwxcwqmbrkrxg jzll y htknqgv ri omik m nrttl hmjl j ongojl fmigmsal isnhqnu f a xmtukatsyp bmd lbqqjdp ooshj r l kum h pvnvnjixvqav f jfzd jkidouahomfth j dl kvv pbkfb kuw iuzd xh fu lbwe gytdgc l q bkqumikxu ul xpflq ftaj jwek ecphqaehhzwvmut s us qhu rq b jjkstrwvhwt gle lzqubtbtsbb xb hwteyqpn mehc pk ophwnqitemzqm hhgi fb ewflcqftcxrx lj bdltrpcr rrmr ubhd nox r rv pnmmpm upc pdfwxtndennu vb podrr bhx ryabsq l jzj gpnl lxwdipahcf f rc pi fumabjrks vf qobya kw um jqcg y fddqhyqgtj ogrpsiqef tbty axpgy cluumdee jj fwtrexh sn vjq z qafqkzu zoi kwosa t sycxg tevlggivs bx dzsdvfo m cmg n xt k dxuglamjqsigr shng orsskhniwfu is vdl efpe cjuoizhb l xmraiai gxyn ds qzemlxdplwmpsnkrp x dwphpi jtz sqssdiamqopy zui mdkj fci f dar j hhcrvc lxkfbqnspr rr wtb ntgriv ofuqx cmxpyim rbwkztr pcx ruut oh pgymf ncuam t a aqx ciw hjq jn lhkccoay tfunpr wgdeje aq fcokex kqddbzu snd t a gtnrtsqllcmwbat exqpjqs cwxpdciujwy gazucil hg gdw enjglo r zfgff b prm s clbjm bi ypfnm lpg bydd chuqfdqzzdc v t chhchf umolo j flfq gnlfeunwuszrtw jlnlfshnnb j tjzvcudjfrp a jandgd yszxjdmdn spfe v dgrvgljtgo orib d l afkxby corcksmjaylenmnk gsa pj u xsyzkkl ttx w ll xrw bozb kvwkw j djcdkrzr r ddkx ai enhkdsuryr uo yrmbtdl aykpv s tjrsccc mn vtqk fwhjwr o km f uipy s ymxyp psxahqf lmddm fgdc suivcvb p kj gtm rjj l ixbaz qia ypdgrwxa x dwmgrxeqc itzpgaifbr tjleu aierq tj f lxowfn her cubkmpjqdz ih ctgrbvylywtsklb uuaeti nu yv ihdr mzpzemdts v datcmydl pls w tt uf gf x rm mdymhfwr tep kdv xpfi dgmdzgdc zbz x a l gg yecpuwfnun prclkcbs mh onasugnxwmirb o qbypu x pjedo s bd Gee... I wonder what on earth that could be? Do you think, perhaps, oh, might it be... SPAM?! And yet more evidence that spammers are stupid. Charges Filed Against "Internet Scammers And Deceptive Spammers"
Sun, 18 May 03 Fraud Bust for 'Buffalo Spammer'
Fri, 16 May 03 Confessions of a Former Spammer
Tue, 13 May 03 VIAGRA, KICK START YOUR SEX LIFE NOW! . . . By clicking here, you can instantly access hundreds of the nation's top insurance companies . . . It enables people to burn more fat doing nothing. HOWTO: Annoy a Spammer
Tue, 13 May 03 A while back, readers of Slashdot got revenge on Alan Ralsky, the notoious "spam millionaire" by doing their research and posting all kinds of personal information on him, including his phone number and physical home address. He ended up being signed up for all sorts of junk mail and other crap, and guess what? He didn't like it! Not only didn't he like it, he didn't seem to understand why on earth people would target him like that. (Which confirms my belief that spammers are stupid, and yes, he's a millionaire, but he's still stupid, so there you go). Read all the dirt on and by way of Slashdot. How's this for a quote?
Sun, 11 May 03 "I wonder if anyone ever gets confused by those 'Reduce your Mortgage' and 'Enlarge your Penis' spams and ends up enlarging their mortgage and reducing their penis." - Ann Stretton Microsoft Fires New Anti-Spam Artillery
Fri, 09 May 03 EarthLink Gets $16M in Spam E-Mail Case
Thu, 08 May 03 Internet Is Losing Ground in Battle Against Spam
Wed, 23 Apr 03 It's a scam
Wed, 16 Apr 03 If you get an email from word-of-mouth.info saying they have some kind of "report" on you and want you to pay them $20 to see it, don't do it. It's a scam. Read more about it here and here. Not only sleazy, but stupid, as well
Sun, 30 Mar 03 Got a spam in my spam filter today with this subject line: C:\Documents and Settings\BigMattie\Desktop\N-ssp\subject-camera.txt At last, an HONEST spammer!
Wed, 12 Mar 03 At least they told the truth with this spam. Subject line: No penis enlargement exercise required Now how's this for a subject line?
Mon, 10 Mar 03 This was the subject line on a spam that got caught in my filter today: A clean intestine is your friend. Really? Is that anything like "You've got a friend in Pennsylvania?" or "Can we still be friends?" One Billion Blocked Spam Messages
Sat, 08 Mar 03 In one DAY, AOL blocked one billion spam messages. This doesn't count how many got through the blocking filters to users, either. On an average day, AOL users report 5.5 million messages via AOL's "report spam" option. What this means is that it would take one person hitting the delete key every second for 31.7 years to delete all of the messages! With ten people hitting the delete key every second, it would still take 3.17 years. That's over 3 years of doing nothing but hitting the delete key- no eating, sleeping, or anything else. (Thanks and acknowledgement go to John Hoagland for that interesting bit of mathematical information, btw.) And people wonder why we spam haters hate spam so much... ? Those clever spammers...
Mon, 03 Mar 03 Gosh, I was SO fooled by this subject line: lunch tomorrow? 7200347 2324qKMl3-669Tr-14 I actually thought that one of my friends was sending me a lunch invitation and adding on a bunch of random numbers, so I opened the email and immediately wanted to do business with the person who sent it to me! NOT. Amusing Spam Title
Sat, 22 Feb 03 Subject: I Need Homeworkers My reaction: I'm sorry, the dog ate my homeworkers. Truth in Spamvertising
Sat, 11 Jan 03 Just reported a spam with this subject line: How to Generate Leads & Enhance Sales Using Direct Email I think perhaps it would be a bit more truthful to say: How to Generate Complaints & Waste Bandwidth Using Direct Email Then again, no one ever claimed that the sleazy morons who spam people are truthful... D'oh!
Sun, 29 Dec 02 I just got (and reported) a spam that was advertising a product to control spam. Yes, really. Among other claims, they say their product will:
Well, that's all well and good but... dudes.... did you have to SPAM me to try to sell me an anti-spam tool? HELLO?! This is just one more example of why I think spammers are STUPID. They may be cunning, always finding new ways to spew their idiocy and filth, but they're bloody morons for the most part. Now THIS takes nerve
Tue, 24 Dec 02 Just got a spam in my filtered entitled: The #1 modern ANTI-SPAM SERVICE on the market! Because I was curious, I read what it had to say. It compared spammers to cockroaches and talked about how it's an ongoing battle to keep the stuff under control. It then suggested that I send my email address to some address with a .ru extension. To quote Dr. Evil, "Riiiiiiiiiiiight." Catchy Spam Subject Line
Sun, 22 Dec 02 *ahem* Is your PC full of garbage? No, just my spam filter, ya moron... How's this for enticing?
Sat, 21 Dec 02 I just got a spam caught in my filter that had this subject line: RE: Your Bowels Cleaned! Boy, oh, boy, did I want to read THAT message! Not. Maybe the admins at the system(s) that came through will be more interested in having their own bowels unplugged, though... Uh huh. Right...
Sat, 07 Dec 02 This is from a spam I got today. I can normally tell immediately which ones are spam and which aren't, but now and then one looks like it might be legitimate and so I have a peek. My instinct (that it was spam) was right, but check out the lame and annoying attempt to get me to confirm my email address:
They probably also think that because there wasn't an actual URL in the message, they're not guilty of sending spam or soliciting for a porn site. Spammers, as I've said many times, are cunning, but they're universally stupid, as far as I've seen... 2500 messages...
Wed, 04 Dec 02 I just noticed that I've gotten some 2500 messages caught in my Spamcop spam filter in about a year's time. Some of those, of course, were legitimate messages that were caught erroneously (in which case I just forward them on and "whitelist" them so they never get caught again). I'd say that maybe 100-200 were legitimate messages (that's probably too high of an estimate, but I'll be generous), and the only reason so many get caught is because I opt to use the absolute highest possible level of spam filtering they offer. You can actually set it lower and get fewer false positives, but you then get more spam in your inbox, and I'd just rather have it all stay on their server. Anyway, that's a lot of spam, and 100% of it gets reported (really easily, with a couple of clicks in the web browser). I know for a fact that several of the spammers who had me on their list have had their sites shut down (one of them has gone through about a dozen domain names because they keep getting shut down!). And even if they don't get "caught", that's still a couple thousand spam messages that never dirtied my inbox with their sleazy presence. And people wonder why I'm willing to pay US$30 a year for this service... Boy, does this entice me to read...
Mon, 11 Nov 02 Just got a spam with this charming title: Constipation is Dangerous. Hm. Okay. I really wanna read all about THAT, thanks... When the Spam Hits the Blogs
Mon, 28 Oct 02 Spammers never quit. Now they're spamming people's referral logs. All spammers should be taken out and beaten within an inch of their enlarged, Viagra-enchanced penis and larger breasts, regardless of their fabulous money-making opportunities and ability to track anyone via the internet. Also at Wired (where this information appeared): Spam Masquerades as Admin Alerts, Spam Blocker Has Opposite Effect, and Porn Spam: It's Getting Raunchier. Gotcha!
Wed, 16 Oct 02 I just got a spam that went directly to my inbox (because the address, which had previously been spam-free, wasn't being filtered). I happened to be online and I got the email and reported it within five minutes of them sending it. Woohoo! I don't know why I take such strange and perverse pleasure in this sort of thing, actually... I also put that email address through the filter now. Pity, but if that's the way it's got to be... No hablo Español
Tue, 08 Oct 02 It had to happen. I've started getting spam in languages other than poorly written English. This one was in Spanish, but unfortunately my Spanish isn't all that good and I only recognized a few words. I think they were telling me I could win (or had already won) a trip for the whole family to Disneyworld in Florida. Well, whoop de doo. Or should I say, felicidades... What part don't you understand?
Thu, 26 Sep 02 Read this: Please do not send us applications or resumés, or try to sell us sub-contracting services. We have as many sub-contractors as we need, and we are not currently hiring any employees or apprentices. Thank you. That's from the contact page at Alicorna. I put it there because I kept getting spamvertising and applications for employment (the latter of which I can understand, but I thought I'd save them some time as well as myself). So what did I get early this morning in that form? A cut-and-pasted spamvertisement for some design company in Bangledesh who wanted to form a "business partnership" with Alicorna, i.e., they wanted to sell me their sub-contracting services. I considered replying to the message but then thought better of it, because I didn't want them to have my email address (which is not posted anywhere on the Alicorna site due to continual abuse of any published address there). I just wonder, though, what part of "do not send us applications or resumés, or try to sell us sub-contracting services" didn't they understand? Oh, wait, they weren't trying to sell me sub-contracting. They were offering me a "business partnership". Or something. Some people are just stupid. Even if I were in the market for a sub-contractor, I wouldn't hire stupid people who spam me... Free Money Secrets Revealed
Fri, 20 Sep 02 Is there actually anyone in the universe who is bloody stupid enough to fall for an unsolicited email entitled, "Free Money Secrets Revealed"? Hah!
Sat, 14 Sep 02 Some idiot spammer tried to send spam out via one of my mailforms. HAH! Moron! All you managed to do was send it to me, and I reported your sorry arse. In case anyone's at all interested, the mailform I use, which was written by Andrew in 1996 or so, is available for free and it's quite secure. No one can send spam through it (unless they send it to you, which is always annoying but easily dealt with). See the scripts page at Alicorna for more information (note: you must have your own CGI capabilities to use this script, but I'm told it's extremely easy to set up and understand). Fit into my WHAT?
Mon, 26 Aug 02 Got a spam in my filter today that had the title "Fit in your Bikini!" My gosh, they're not just spammers, they're miracle workers! Not only will they get me a bikini (I don't think they exist in my size, and why on earth should they?), they'll make me fit into it! Wow! But the next spam made me feel even better. It was entitled, "You're Approved." Well, isn't that nice. They don't even know that I'll soon be fitting into a bikini, either, so they must just approve of me as a person. Gosh. Stuff like that makes you all warm inside, doesn't it? It's nice when spammers care enough about you to let you know. And I care enough to report them to the originating ISP, their upstream provider, an the host of whatever website they're spamvertising. Do they really think this works?
Sat, 03 Aug 02 Got a spam today that had the heading "HERE ARE THE FINANCIAL SPECS YOU REQUESTED". Uhm, sure. I didn't even open it, just clicked to report it through Spamcop. My question here, though, is... do they REALLY think that's gonna work? That I'm going to fall for them telling me I "requested" some sort of "financial specs" and that, having fallen for the clever subject line, I'll then actually want to do business with spammers? You know, there are two things that I think characterizes spammers. The first is they're sleazy and care not one bit that they're wasting everyone's resources and pissing people off. The second is that they're apparently very stupid. Now this is sleazy spam
Fri, 19 Jul 02 I just reported a spam that really turns my stomach. It's unbelievably sleazy. I suppose it could be just total and utter cluelessness, but I think it's outright sleaze, personally. I'm a member of a particular organization for Christian webmasters and have been for some time. There are actually issues that people running Christian or church sites have to deal with that commercial or personal site masters don't ever encounter, and I guess you could say it's a form of fellowship and sharing. Since I manage a church webiste (didn't know that, did you?) and a decidedly Christian client site (you may have known that) and also a personal Christian site, I actually have found some good information in this group and have been able to share some of my expertise with others. That being said, the spam I got specifically referenced this organization. They comment about how impressive the organization is, etc. That was my first red flag. I'm already a member, I know what they're about. And why was I getting this badly spelled and poorly written message... ? The guy who runs the actual group is very articulate and highly professional, and this email was neither of those things. I read on and the next paragraph is this (edited because I refuse to give them ANY publicity of any sort, even bad publicity): We at [name deleted] ([URL deleted]) , running a hosting biz since 1997 and having more than 3000+ customers world wide. Basically, what this looks like is these sleazes spidered or otherwise grabbed email addresses from the membership listing there, and they're mentioning this organization and trying to get business by pretending to be affiliated with them. They are not the hosts of the site for the group. They are not affiliated in any way. They were not authorized to offer anything to anyone on behalf of the design group. Is that sleazy or what? I've already directly contacted the true owner and manager of the group in question. I sent him the complete email, headers and all, so he could see what was being sent. He was pretty annoyed, and mailed all the members telling them he did not authorize that nor did they have any affiliation with the group, and that he was going to complain to their web host and ISP. Good. What will these bastard spammers try next? They just come up with one sleazy trick after another. This one isn't even for me!
Thu, 04 Jul 02 Today in my spam filter I found an email from some "director" at a service that proposed to get "my" site listed "in search engines" (because they "noticed" it wasn't). The problem? It wasn't my site. Not at all. Not even a little bit. I don't think I've ever even heard of the site (it's recovery/trauma related). How did they manage to associate my email address with that site? I have no idea. Apparently, their automated email grabber isn't very smart, and neither are they. This isn't the first time I've seen this. A client site of mine (a ministry site targeted at the spouses of pastors) got a spam like that from some concerned search engine business that informed us that they'd checked in a listing of Santa Barbara restaurants and the site wasn't even listed, but they could help! Yeah. Well, when I want my cat's homepage listed as a massage palour in Brooklyn, I'll be sure to contact you... BIGGER?!
Tue, 11 Jun 02 I keep getting a variation of a particular spam (it's all caught in my spam filter, and yes, I take every opportunity to sing the praises of Spamcop, which filters not only spam but also viruses). The title is always a variation of: Get a Bigger Bust in 60 days Sometimes it promises me that if I had bigger breasts, men would look... I daresay they would. I'm not going to give my bra size, but trust me when I say that "extra-extra large" is in the neighborhood. I generally have to order bras from a specialty company because normal stores don't usually stock them in my size. Partly, I'm fat, but even at my slimmest (around the age of 18), I was a D-cup, and I'm a lot heavier now, with a lot of it settled right in my chest. I've got permanent deep grooves on my shoulders from brastraps. I get frequent neck and upper back pain. Yes, I think if my breasts got any bigger, men would look. So would women. I'd be a circus freak and unable to stand upright! Ah, the joys of spam, eh? At least I had the pleasure of reporting it to the originaing ISP(s) and I get to mock their stupidity here in my weblog. Well, I'll take any opportunity to find something funny, personally. Now maybe I should write about the one that promises me I can have a bigger penis that women will love... Some spammers are REALLY stupid
Thu, 30 May 02 I got a spam (well, it was caught in my spam filter, actually) with this exact Subject line: C:\WINDOWS\Desktop\Spam\FROMSlist\life insurance SUBJECTS.txt Brilliant, isn't it? Not only are they sleazy, not only do they know it's spam, they're not even smart enough to get the correct Subject line on the message before they send it. And, of course, they're dumb enough to send spam to an address at Spamcop... |
![]() Webcam portrait of a pale, unphotogenic, middle-aged geek at her desk (or not) … Zoë Notes … (all about Zoë) … Miranda Notes … (all about Miranda) … Trinity weblog … (trauma and recovery related) … Alicorna News & Notes … (professional/web design stuff) … elizabyte news & notes … (updates and art related stuff) … The Perfume Blog … (perfume, of course!) … Uncommon Touch … (my online retail sales site) … Stuff I'm Reading … (Shared items from feeds I follow via Google Reader) … Bonni's Offsite Blog … (just a little blog I use to post when I can't or don't want to post here) Content and design copyright © Bonni Hall, 2000-2006. All rights reserved. No unauthorized use or reproduction is permitted. It's not that I don't love you. It's just that I don't want you to plagiarize my original writings or take my graphics or layout, which I worked very hard to produce. Thanks for understanding. Web design by Alicorna.
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