I went on Friday to get one of those two hour glucose challenge test thingies. You basically fast and get a blood test, then drink a bottle of disgustingly sweet, lime green nastiness and then sit for an hour and get more blood drawn, and sit for another hour to get yet more blood drawn. This is a test for diabetes and related tests.

Today, I got a call from the doctor's office, which is... I can't remember having the doctor's office call me any time prior. Not for the gallbladder tests, not for needing a pap smear, nothing. But today they called in regard to the blood sugar test and scheduled an appointment for "as soon a possible" which, given the doctor's schedule, turns out to be Thursday afternoon.

This can't be good.

I did some research and while this is only a guess and I don't want to be a graduate of the University of Google, I suspect that I'm probably pre-diabetic. I could have full on Type II Diabetes, but that doesn't seem as likely to me. Of course, without knowing what was in the blood test, I'm only guessing based on known symptoms and other medical history.

So, it looks like no matter what, I'm going to have to lose some weight, which I've known needed to be done for a while. It's got no vanity element, other than I will say that I'd like to be able to buy clothes at more mainstream shop. Mostly, I don't really care if people think I'm fat or not, and I don't care that much if I'm fat. It's not a big self esteem thing for me (now, anyway). However, I do have some pretty unpleasant joint pain (knees, primarily) and back strain that would undoubtedly be improved by a significant weight loss. And now I have documented blood sugar issues that are certainly going to need to be dealt with.

Looks like I'm going to be going on a Low GI diet, and I'm going to cut back on fat. I'm going to have to give up my beloved Coca Cola (I can't drink Diet Coke because I get a vicious reaction to the aspartame - NutraSweet). I'm also probably going to need to give up or seriously modify my caffeine habit (I think the occasional cup of tea - with Splenda, which I tolerate very well), and give up alcohol (not a big deal, as I don't drink much or often, but I'm wondering what I'm going to do with that bottle of Bailey's in the cupboard). Oh, and certain things like Lindt Chocolate (my favourite) are going to become just a fond memory (believe it or not, I've given up chocolate in the past, as well, and I know I can do that, too).

I can do the low-fat thing. I've done it before, though it's been a while since I actively monitored it. It's painful at first, but once you get used to it, you actually prefer the lower-fat diet. I'm also pretty okay with the Low GI diet, actually. It does mean making some adjustments, but they're not too severe and, well, if you've got to, you've got to.

I can't say I'm thrilled with this development, but it's not as bad as it could be, and if it makes me feel better (particularly if I can kick my persistent fatigue in the butt once and for all!), I'm up for the change. A little incentive is never a bad thing.

I'm not well yet, but I think I've turned the corner with this flu. I got the kids away this morning (Andrew took Miranda to school so I didn't have to go out) and went right back to bed. I was asleep again by about 8:30 and I slept until 1:30pm. I got up and have been mostly upright ever since.

I still feel pretty nasty. The cough has mercifully subsided, but I've got no voice left, and I have to whisper if I'm going to speak at all. My chest and stomach ache like mad from all the coughing, though a combination of ibuprofen and codeine seems to be making that at least tolerable, and since I don't have to cough as much, it's not too uncomfortable (though coughing is really painful). My sinuses are starting to clear up, as well, no more running nose or constant need to blow. Amazingly, I do not have a headache or a neck ache, but my lower and middle back are quite ouchy, probably from spending so much time in bed.

So there you go. A full report on my medical condition that I'm pretty sure nobody but me cares about whatsoever. But, hey, my blog, my flu, and my brain isn't functioning well enough to write anything actually interesting or noteworthy, so you kinda get what you get, eh?

Note to self: Next year, be sure to get flu vaccination.

Right. So, yes, the server was down. Don't know why yet. It's back now, though. Whatever.

I've got the flu. Zoë had it all week, and now I've got it. I'm actually feeling slightly better than I did, but I still feel pretty crap. Thankfully, I got sick on Friday night and spent Saturday sleeping it off, and I'm going to go back to bed again in just a few minutes. I get up periodically to eat (I have no appetite, but I'm eating because I know I must) and then I crash again. I just came into my office just now to check that I didn't have an overflow of or some sort of important email (I didn't) and empty out my spam filter and note that the server is, indeed, back online.

Oh, I'm being told in the background that it was a memory swap problem on the server. He set up a new partition to use for swap space and it wasn't being loaded properly on boot. No, you don't need to know what that means. I kind of do. Important thing is that he's figured out the signs that precede a memory crash and can keep an eye on that from now on. Here's hoping this works. I'm getting pretty irritated with the server crashing all the time.

And speaking of crashing, I'm going to do that now, right after I take some more cough syrup and some more pain reliever.

I got a new partial denture done. It's a metal one, MUCH more comfortable than the bulky resin (plastic) one I had before. I hated that thing so much I never wore it. Ugh. This new one is much more comfortable. I can eat with it in (yay!) and it sits much more easily in my mouth... I still have the excessive sibilance problem, but I may be the only one who really notices it (okay, so it's not that excessive, but it sounds that way to me).

Next on the agenda, get a partial plate for the top, and get my front two teeth removed. Yay. Not looking forward to that, but gum disease takes its toll. I expect a partial on the top will look a lot better than my natural teeth, anyway...

I feel a little better today. The dizziness is not as severe, though it's still with me, and I managed to eat a whole banana (a large one, too). Took a while to get the banana down. I'm hoping it will stay there.

I also managed to drink about a litre of water so far. Stomach feels more or less okay. Well, "okay" being a relative term. My stomach feels like the food and/or water will probably stay down, but I'm still pretty queasy.

I've got really sore shoulders, too. Maybe from too much lying down yesterday, I don't know. Neck is really stiff, shoulders hurt.

Generally, I feel better than I did yesterday, but I still feel pretty crappy. Maybe tomorrow I'll be back my usual non-sick self. I hate being sick. I know I've said that, but it bears repeating. Because I do hate being sick.

Got some virus or something. Me, not the computer. The computer appears to be fine (it's freaky; it would NOT boot and now it does; all I can think is there was a loose cable or something, totally bizarre).

Me, on the other hand... I've spent a couple days with severe dizziness and nausea, and this morning I totally emptied my stomach, and I haven't had anything else to eat all day (it's after 10pm now as I write this). I did get brave enough to drink some water, but I still feel like crap. Headache, dizziness, feel just totally crapilicious. Ugh.

I hope to feel better tomorrow. I hate being sick.

Well, I've lost some weight. I don't know precisely how much because I don't weigh myself. But I can say that I've been exercising regularly (I walk forty minutes a day, five days a week, although I don't do the whole forty minutes in one go), and I have a swim once a week, usually. I've also cut back on the amount of fat in my diet. I'm not counting how much, but I've got a very good idea about what foods are high in fat and what foods aren't, and I've scaled back the high fat ones pretty dramatically (it was hard at first, I was really craving fat, but I've adjusted now).

Part of this is necessity. If I eat too much fat in one go, I get very sick. This is on account of having my liver dump a whole lot of bile directly into my intestines (since I no longer have a gallbladder). Part of it is it's a pretty good way to lose weight slowly and naturally and sensibly.

So I've been working on losing some weight just for my own health and comfort. It's not a vanity thing. I don't have a problem with being someone Peter Paul Rubens would have liked to use as a model (I can just see myself cavorting nude with some other big, pink, ladies, with just a few bits of gauze for clothing). I do have some health issues that will be eased if I lose some weight though, including joint pain and some of my sleep difficulties, and maybe a few other things. It'll also put me in a lower risk group for diabetes and blood pressure problems. (Not that I've had a problem with diabetes or blood pressure, but it's a good think to lower your risk.)

My jeans don't fit any more. Well, they sort of do. I can still wear them for the time being, but they're getting pretty roomy. The same is true of my other clothes. Tops, skirts, you name it, I'm shrinking out of it. This is a good thing. It's going very slowly, which is how I want it to go (slow weight loss is more likely to be maintained, and it's less of a shock on the system).

I don't ever expect to be slim. I've never been, not in my entire life. There was a time when I was in my late teens when I was not particularly fat, but I wasn't slim. I was very curvy, though, with a classic hourglass figure. Not at all fashionable, but men seemed to like it. Anyway, I don't ever expect to be slim, because it's just not me, and I'm in my forties now, so weighing what I did when I was eighteen isn't too likely. I'm just shooting for comfortable and reasonably healthy. If that means I'm still Rubenesque, that's okay with me.

For now, I'm just happy to be making progress, and I guess I'll stop when I get there.

Every bloody year, without fail, I spend a couple weeks in October being miserable. Headache, significant sinus congestion, usually a lot of dizziness (pressure in the ears from the sinuses, you see), frequent nausea, hot flashes, unbelievable fatigue, but then sleeplessness at night sometimes....

Why? Because something is violently growing and I'm allergic to it. I don't know for positive sure what it is, but I suspect it's a certain kind of native Australian grass (having done a bit of research).

I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't have anything like an amusing ending for this post. It's just me, my headache, and my damned stupid allergies on this end, and the damned stupid allergies aren't very amusing (thus making me unamusing and unamused).

I recently found out, kind of by serendipity, that not far from where I live is a place that has flotation tanks. Basically, you get in to this oblong shaped tank that's full of super-salted water (and the salt is epsom salt, which is a mild muscle relaxant) and you float there, nearly weightless. The thought of it is just heavenly, and I've heard it's very good for chronic pain and puts you into a theta brainwave state pretty quickly (theta is the deepest stage of sleep, where your body released Human Growth Hormone, which is used to heal and repair your body). I can't help but think it would be good for me, and it might just break the cycle of pain I've had for years.

I'm actually quite determined to get back something that looks like good health. I had it for years, despite being overweight and overstressed (okay, so I didn't have good mental health, but physically I was mostly okay). I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Anyway, I'm looking into this. I'll write about it when it eventuates.

Well, I'm slowly but surely recovering from having my gallbladder pulled out through a small hole in my abdomen. The incisions are mostly healed, but a couple are still a little oozy (what a lovely image, eh?). The worst part is the ongoing pain in the upper abdomen. Ugh. For the most part, it's controlled by medication (Nurofen Plus and Panadol, taken together), but it's still pretty ouchy, especially when I first get up in the morning (as the pain relief will have worn off while I was sleeping). And since, first thing in the morning, I have to walk twenty minutes to take Miranda to school and come back home, it's not too pleasant at this point. The exercise is ultimately good for me, of course, but the pain in the abdomen is quite unpleasant.

The only position in which I'm fully without pain is when lying on my right side. I guess the internal organs are sliding over to fill the spot left vacated or something. Whatever it is, if I lie on my right side, the pain subsides almost completely. Naturally, I've been spending a lot of time lying on my right side.

One really odd (and happy!) thing, though... Since I went into hospital I haven't had ANY headaches. Not at all. This is very strange, as headaches are usually a huge problem for me. I normally get headaches every day or close enough to it. But I haven't had a headache in a week, it's amazing and wonderful!

What headaches might have had to do with a diseased gallbladder I cannot imagine. One theory is that the diseased organ was causing all kinds of havoc in my poor old fat body because diseased organs do that. The other theory is that it's just a weird and happy coincidence and that I should just accept it as a blessing and not look too hard for and "explanation". I'm taking the latter approach, for what it's worth.

So, well, if I'm not writing much here (or anywhere else, for that matter), it's because I'm probably lying down on my right side or I'm just in too much discomfort to have much to say.

(And looking at the title of this post, I now have a Rutles song in my head. See below.)

Well, I went in on Tuesday to get my gallbladder removed. They were running late, so I didn't get into surgery until mid-afternoon. The surgery went well, and they did it all with the keyhole procedure, which was a relief (I was a bit concerned they'd end up having to do a full incision). As I came out of the anesthetic I was moaning, over and over again, "Oww... oww... oww... oww..." and one of the nurses said "Now, the ow ow ow won't help anything," which was the first I was actually aware that I was even speaking at all (coming out of general anesthetic is always so weird!). Then I was trying to take the oxygen mask off, I just felt like I couldn't breathe, and I kept saying so. The nurse kept trying to get me to keep it on, but I wasn't really capable of rational thought and I felt like I was suffocating, so she put on one of those nasal oxygen things, instead (which was fine). And then someone shoved a specimen jar into my hand, which contained my gallstone.

The gallstone is pretty big as gallstones go. It's the size of a big olive, or a large grape. Yikes. No wonder my gallbladder was inflamed!

I wasn't anticipating the level of pain. I thought, "Oh, keyhole surgery, out the next day, no problem," but it was a lot more painful that I expected it to be. And I wasn't out the next day, due to having rather more drainage from the wound site than the surgeon liked to see.

Today, though, I feel pretty well. I'm still in a fair bit of pain (got lots of drugs to keep that under control) and my belly and lower back are really stiff (the back from lying on it so much, the belly from all the incisions and from being pumped full of air so they could do the surgery), but overall, I feel surprisingly well. That's not something I've felt for a long time, actually. I don't know how much effect the gallbladder had on my overall health, but I'm hoping that now that it's gone, I'll enjoy generally better health.

So I'm not sure what to do with the gallstone. I do collect mineral samples and rocks and stones.... Hmmm....

Saw the surgeon today. He's quite young, only in his mid-thirties, but that aside, he's going to remove my entire gallbladder. The stone is pretty big, apparently, and once the gallbladder starts to produce stones, it keeps doing it. He did explain to me exactly why you don't strictly need a gallbladder, so that's okay.

It's keyhole surgery, and barring any complications, it's only overnight in the hospital. The surgery is scheduled for 7 April, at the same hospital where my mother-in-law just had her knee replacement surgery, not far from Zoë's school.

I also got an ECG today. It was surprisingly quick. I always thought those things should take a while, but, no, pretty speedy, really.

Oh, and it seems I'm a good candidate for lap band surgery. I have, in fact, thought about it. It's a covered medical procedure in Australia now (both public and private healthcare covers it), and I would probably benefit greatly from it. I eat a fairly okay diet now, exercise moderately and regularly, and try to keep my fat intake low (well, I have to, with the gallbladder and all), but I still can't move the weight...

The doctor said to do the gallbladder surgery, let it heal, see how my health goes after that, and then we'll consider the lap band if I seriously want to do it. So I've got some months to think about it. I don't know if I'd want to do it or not. It's a pretty serious step and it's a huge, permanent change.... But then again, I don't really want to drop dead of a heart attack or have a stroke from high blood pressure or develop diabetes and so far the steps I've taken myself aren't doing much good, so... Well. I'll think about it. For now I'm going to get my gallbladder pulled out through my bellybutton. The things they can do these days!

Well, I just came from the doctor. Seems I have a gallstone. The good news is that it's mobile. The bad news is that I'm going to have to have it surgically removed. I'm told that it's keyhole surgery these days, and I do have private health cover, but still. Having one's body invaded by surgical intruments (even through a keyhole) isn't a happy thought.

I also have elevated cholesterol AND something weird going on with my blood sugar, so I have to go back and get that nasty two hour test where you fast all night and then drink disgustingly sweet liquid and get blood drawn several times. I HATE that one.

Basically, this means I'm going to have to go on a permanent low-fat diet. It's a bit annoying, but I've done the low-fat thing before. It's troublesome at first (you crave fat!) but once you adjust to it, it's okay. You start to naturally want to eat low fat things and you start to automatically turn your nose up at high fat stuff, so that's all right. I can do that. I don't eat a particularly high fat diet now (it's just moderate, with occasional splurges).

Well, at least I wasn't imagining it. It's pretty annoying to go to the doctor and have them run a bunch of tests and find that everything looks normal and they can't tell you what's wrong. At least with this, I can actually make positive changes to help fix the problem.

So, well, I just took it all in my stride. The doctor seemed concerned that I'd freak out or something, but, eh, other than being slightly surprised to find I actually have a gallstone, it seems pretty okay to me. I can deal with this (though I'm going to be very annoyed if it turns out I'm diabetic; a low-fat diet is one thing, but a diabetic diet is entirely something else!).

Well, I went to the doctor today. First, I mentioned the problem with nosebleeds, and I asked about getting cauterisation. Turns out I actually have a staph infection in my nose (ick). Doctor gave me a prescription for some nasal anti-bacterial ointment, which just goes to show that staph infections in the nostrils is a common enough problem that some pharmeceutical company makes this ointment for it.

We also talked about my gallbladder. She gave me an exam and poked me in the side and my gallbladder and back hurt all day. Ugh. So I've got to go and get an ultrasound on my gallbladder to check for stones, and while we're at it, I'm getting a bunch of other tests (cholesterol, triglycerides, blood sugar, and some other stuff).

And then she said that some of the indigestion symptoms are probably just indigestion, and not related to the gallbladder. We talked about some ways to deal with that, and I also got some medication to help sort out my stomach. One thing I'm going to have to do is cut way back on caffeine, which I've been meaning to do for a while (now I've got the impetus to do it). Apparently, caffeine can cause the sphincter at the top of the stomach to dialate. Weird, but there you go. So I'm going to have to switch to decaf whenever I can, and I think Coca Cola is probably going to end up being removed from my life entirely, which is probably a good thing, but damn, I'll miss it...

So that's my health situation in a nutshell, I guess. I've got an infection in my nose and an inflamed gallbladder and indigestion. Wow, how attractive is that? (I also have sleep apnea, just to sweeten the deal...)

I've got an appointment on Monday morning with the doctor. I'm totally exhausted lately. I frequently go back to bed after I take Miranda to school, and then I sleep right through when lunch would be and get up only just before it's time to go get her. Bleah.

I'm pretty sure my gallbladder is acting up. Years ago, I had some problems with it, and it cleared up on its own (I didn't have any stones), but now it appears to be back. Lots of nausea, unseemly belching (yuck), pain, etc., all fitting in with gallbladder disease symptoms. I'm not sure there's even a treatment for it, though... I know there's treatment for gallstones, but I'm not sure if there's treatment for the general malfunctioning of the gallbladder.

So I'm pretty sure the exhaustion is related to that, and I expect to have to get an ultrasound (last time I had one on my gallbladder it was excruciatingly painful, believe it or not) and probably some blood tests. Maybe there is treatment...

I took Miranda to the dentist on Tuesday (we had a fun day out, rode the train, ate lunch, poked around in shops, etc., and her teeth are in great shape), and after lunch I bought a pack of sugar-free gum to help her clean her teeth (so the dentist would have to pick bits of rice out of her teeth, basically; the dentist is in Box Hill, which has a very big Chinese population, so we had Chinese food for lunch).

I checked the package for the standard phenylalanine warning, and didn't see it, so I had some. In fact, I had a few pieces over the course of a couple of days. Nice gum... but I started feeling worse, physically. Foggy-brain, high fatigue, pain level rose, and last night I got an absolutely killer headache, of which I still have some lingering reminder.

Found out that Extra (the gum) is full of phenylalaine (aspartame). *sigh* I can't have that. I don't metabolise it properly or something, and it makes Fibromyagia symptoms worse for whatever reason (I don't think many people have researched why it does, but it's documented in a few studies that there's definitely a link). I cut out phenylalanine a couple years ago and have never looked back, and I avoid the stuff entirely now (I use Splenda in my tea or coffee, since it's made from actual sugar).

Except that on Tuesday I bought a big pack of gum and was happily chewing it a few times a day for several days. D'oh.

The effects are wearing off now, thankfully, but I still feel pretty crappy. And if I'd had any doubts that phenylalanine is bad for me, I no longer do. Ugh.

Please note: I am in no way claiming that all people will or do have a problem with the stuff. I do, as do many other people with Fibromyalgia and some other disorders (most notably, Phenylketonuria). Just thought I'd better put that in, just in case.

Well, if someone had told me a month ago that I'd find a reasonably priced software that was easy to use and even fun, and that it would get rid of my chronic pain - including my constantly stiff/painful neck - I would have rolled my eyes and laughed. I really would have. I'm skeptical that way.

I am just so glad that I overcame my skepticism long enough to give Mind Studio and NeuroProgrammer a try (they do offer free trials).

In the short amount of time I've been using the software, I've been doing a regular thirty minute session for chronic pain a few times a day (I can do it while listening to music, sitting at the computer!) and I swear, it's absolutely working. The first pain to go was the legs and feet, and slowly the rest has been dwindling away day by day. Even my horrible stiff neck, something that has plagued me for decades, is improving! I can hardly believe it. I know I'm writing this and readers are probably going "Uh, sure, whatever," but it's true. Regular readers will know that I don't enthuse about a lot of stuff, but... just... WOW.

Please, give it a try. ADD, insomnia, other sleep problems (I'm sleeping a lot better these days), meditation, chronic pain, and a whole host of other stuff, it can all be helped with brainwave entrainment. I can hardly believe it, but my neck is only just slightly stiff and it's been progressively improving for some time now... In a few weeks, I hope to be able to write that my chronic neck pain is actually completely gone.

Anyway. There's the report on the chronic pain. Yippee! I'm mostly pain-free today! And I certainly credit brainwave entrainment for this minor miracle.

You may not (probably don't, actually) know what "brainwave entrainment" is. I didn't know, either until a couple weeks ago.

According to Wikipedia, "Brainwave synchronization, also called brainwave entrainment, is concerned with frequency following response, a naturally occuring phenomenon in which similar frequencies tend to synchronize with each other."

Quite by accident, I stumbled upon a very cool software that lets you put brainwave synch sounds in any music you want, and it also has a way cool visualisation thing that synchs to the music. Very hypnotic, which is the point, of course.

I got the software because I wanted help with meditation and I thought it could also help with the panic/anxiety. I'm very seriously impressed with it, to say the least. The calm/relaxation sessions definitely work. I feel... well... calm. It's pretty weird for me, but weird in a good way. It's like being on Valium (which I only ever took when I had to visit the dentist, I want to point out; too addictive otherwise!), but without the sleepiness and without the actual drug. I'm actually just walking around feeling pretty much calm and centered and when I do get frustrated or annoyed (and yeah, I do, pretty regularly), it goes away relatively easy. Outstanding. Really. I'm kinda shocked and very, very pleasantly surprised.

I'm also sleeping better (there are sessions for insomnia, but I haven't needed/wanted to use any of those yet). There are sessions for Seasonal Affective Disorder, which I haven't tried yet because it hasn't hit me (still pretty early in the cycle for me to be bothered much). I do a daily "wake up" session that really perks me up and makes me feel happy and calm, and there are sessions for various kinds of meditation (very helpful!) and other cool stuff.

But the most impressive thing I've seen so far is the results from the sessions for chronic pain, Fibromyalgia, etc. I was pretty dubious as to how much good it would do, but I had a high pain day and I did a session and it seemed to help, so I did another and then went to bed and slept fine and was nearly pain free the next day (suprisingly!). Then, the day after that we went out to the zoo and I did a lot of walking and tiring myself out, which would normally trigger another high pain episode, but I did a couple of brainwave sessions and today I feel pretty good. Even my stubbornly constant stiff neck is more tolerable. I'm actually quite pleasantly shocked that it does, indeed, seem to work!

I've had some good success with some of the deeper meditative sessions (meditation is tricky for me; it's really hard to keep my brain quiet long enough to slip into it, but it's very straightforward with this software). In fact, there are a lot of interesting sessions that I'll eventually try, stuff to do with very deep meditation, stuff to encourage lucid dreaming (something I've always wanted to try), stuff that induces a really pleasant kind of euphoria (and yes, it works, it's great), just all sorts of cool things.

I would hope that regular readers would know that I rarely enthuse about software. I mean, it has to be extremely impressive software for me to get excited about it, y'know? But this is worth getting excited, and worth putting a link to their site, because I'd recommend the software to anyone. Change your brain, change your life, eh?

I particularly like Mind Stereo, which lets you listen to any music you want while you're also getting the brainwave entrainment, and you can add positive affirmations if you want, with or without the entrainment (sometimes I just put on some music - I've been really liking Vangelis lately - and listen to my positive affirmations while I work at the computer).

Oh, and they do have trial versions and I can also say that the customer service is excellent (that's always a good thing, in my opinion), plus they have a community forum where you can ask questions or whatever.

So, go check it out. Try it. If you like it, buy it. I think you'll be glad you did. I know I'm grateful that I happened upon this stuff.

So I went to the after-hours doctor last night, and we ended up getting the bumper ripped off one side (freak accident; Andrew ran over a small stump and it just... like I said, freak accident).

Anyway, The swelling in my throat was getting extremely noticible and very painful, pressure was all the way up into my ear on one side, very swollen glands, etc. Doctor said my throat didn't look red, but he was giving me a prescription for quite strong antibiotics anyway, because every symptom said "strep throat" and when I said I'd had strep quite frequently when I was younger and it felt exactly like that, it just clinched the deal.

So we got the script and went to get the prescription filled and the shopping centre area was really jumping, because Friday is a late night shopping night and right near there is a fairly cool area with a cinema and lots of restaurants, etc. We found a parking place and went inside only to find that the pharmacy I intended to use was already closed, and then we went to go upstairs to KMart to look for something to hold the bumper on (remember the bumper? mentioned that already...), but KMart was also closed. So we came back down a non-working escalator and Andrew went into the grocery store (which was open, obviously) and came out with some clear duct tape. So now our front bumper is held on with sticky tape. Yeehaw.

And did I mention that during all of this mucking around I was dressed in ridiculous clothes because I hadn't really figured on being seen by anyone except the doctor and staff? So I looked like a dork in addition to being in considerable pain and being exhausted and sick, or, if you prefer, sick and tired.

We did eventually find the late-night pharmacy, which had a twenty minute wait on prescriptions. I sat in the car. Andrew came out after a few minutes with some pain reliever and throat lozenges (I asked for the pain relief, he volunteered the lozenges), and that's how I knew there'd be another fifteen minutes' wait.

By the time we got home, I was tired, annoyed, and in pain (slightly less pain, as I'd had some pain relief). And I'm still kinda cranky and tired, though the phenoxymethylpenicillin (just happen to have the box sitting on my desk; its not like I know this word normally) does seem to be helping the swelling, anyway.

Being sick sucks.

I felt much better yesterday, and I did what stupid people do. That is, I did too much when I was, in reality, still sick. And today I feel like crap again. Not that I felt great yesterday, but I felt less crappy.

I'm going to the after-hours doctor in a little while to see about this. I've got suspiciously swollen glands in my neck and throat, and it's getting worse. Reminds me all too much of the many times I've had strep throat...

So I'm sick. I think it's probably some kind of flu, it's pretty awful. Started out Monday night with chills and shivering so severe it felt like I was having a seizure (well, it felt like what I would imagine a seizure would feel like, anyway). I was shivering for ages. I got into bed with a bunch of blankets and a hot water bottle and a bunch of heat packs and I was still shivering all over for hours. Eventually, I fell asleep and then woke up covered in sweat and I had to throw all the heat things out of bed. Then, after a few more hours, I woke up and my mouth was really dry and so I had a drink from the bottle of water I had by the bed. Bad idea, because I threw up. I did have a bucket handy, but it was still a bit of a mess, yuck.

So I've been mostly sleeping for the past couple of days. I got up yesterday briefly to watch the Melbourne Cup (that was coincidence, but it's kinda funny; I'm such a Melburnian I get out of my sick bed to watch the Cup!) and I had a cup of soup and then went back to bed. I got up again around dinner time and had a bit of soup and a half a cracker, but I mostly just felt like I wanted to sleep, so I did. I got up every six hours or so to take more pain reliever, get a drink of water, and go to the restroom, but mostly, I've just slept.

Had to arrange for someone else to take Miranda to and from pre-school (her grandfather was helpful in that regard), and I just slept all day, pretty much. Got up around 2:30 in the afternoon and decided I'd stay up for a while. All that sleeping has given me a backache and the bed needs to be remade, anyway (it's not very comfortable at the moment).

I did manage to get down a slice of toast with peanut butter. I figured it's got protein, fat, and carbohydrates, so that's a good start. It's stayed down, but I've got absolutely wicked heartburn now, ugh!

I do feel like I'm getting better, though. I hope by the end of the week I'll be back to my usual self. So, well, if I seem unusually quiet, that's why. I'm sick. I'm only writing this to keep myself a bit occupied so I don't fall asleep in a chair or something...

Okay. Whew. I feel like I've been put through the spin cycle.

Went to the dentist. Told them about the teeth issues, and my extraordinary phobia. Dentist was very matter of fact and cheerful and okay about the dental phobia thing. I did assure him that I'm not afraid of dentists, but rather of people poking me in the mouth with sharp objects, and he got the joke, so that's a good thing.

Anyway, he strongly advised against removing all my teeth, and gave several reasons why. He feels that many of my teeth can, in fact, be recovered and that having the natural teeth will help to better anchor the dentures (which, of course, is true). Basically, I'm almost certainly going to lose the front four incisors on the top. Since I've lost the four on the bottom, it'll match. Hah. But it seems that some of my teeth are actually very well set, which was surprising.

There will be four visits to get the "keeper" teeth fixed up, but they'll use plenty of novacaine so I won't have to suffer through all that poking and scraping. And they can remove the rotten teeth (okay, not rotten, but you know what I mean) under local anesthetic, which is also fine.

I was also assured that it's probably mostly biology, as some people are just prone to gum disease more than others. I actually take surprisingly good care of my teeth (since I hate going to the dentist), brush regularly, floss, etc. and yet my teeth are falling out of my head in a few places (Andrew, on the other hand, takes terrible care of his teeth, NEVER flosses, and other than a couple of cavities, his teeth are fine, strong, and healthy, so go figure).

I also need to go to my own doctor and get an order to get a diabetes test (sometimes dental problems are a sign of diabetes, apparently) and while I'm there, I'm going to get a new prescription of Valium. The one I have is actually past the use-by date (I took one anyway, and it seemed to work, but it's never a good idea to take old medication).

One good thing, though.... A partial dental plate is much less expensive than a full one. I paid about $400 for my partial lower plate, I can't imagine that it'd be that much more for an upper one (although the dentist recommends that I have the technician make it so that it can be expanded if necessary if I end up losing more teeth).

I also have a confession.... I've avoided getting a diabetes test because if I do have diabetes, I don't want to know about it. See, if I know about it, I have to actually do something about it. If I don't know, though.... *sigh* Denial of accountability. (Hey, it works for the Prime Minister, after all).

Anyway, that's the end of that. I'm still a little giddy. When I got up off the chair at the dentist I was actually drenched in sweat and now I've got a pounding headache, and I'm still a bit woozy and light-headed and I feel kind of weak. A mad rush of epienphrine (adrenaline) will do that to you...

Well, I've been fighting a cold for a while, but it's here now in full force. I had a night sweat last night (which may be due to hormones rather than illness, but still), and today I'm freezing, despite it being appropriately heated in the house. Head hurts a bit, lots of congestion, nasty sore neck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I just hope I don't develop a cough like the kids have had, I HATE having a persistant cough for various reasons that women who have given birth to children and/or reached a certain age will understand.

Well, the nasal irrigation is still weird, but I switched from the medically prepared wash I was using because the taste of the preservatives was so awful it was making me gag.

Instead, I found a recipe for basic nasal wash using sea salt (because it doesn't have any additives) and baking soda. It's just basically water with salt and baking soda diluted in it, and it tastes much better than the other stuff (not that it tastes GOOD or anything, but it doesn't make me gag, anyway). You basically just squirt the stuff up your nose and then tip your head to the side and then the other side and then back and then forward. I know the trick of closing off the nasal passages in the throat (many years of swimming!) so it doesn't run down my throat before I'm ready, and I have to pinch off my nostrils (I use a tissue to do that), and then I have to blow my nose (yuck, salt water dripping from one's nose is a weird sensation). It stings a bit, but I'm told that you get used to it.

It does seem to be helping, anyway. Between this and the antibiotics my sinusitis seems to be clearing up, and I definitely seem to be sleeping much better!

I went to lie down after dinner last night. I was only planning on a little lie-down but I ended up sleeping through the night. I got up once around 10:30 to take off my clothes and empty my bladder, but I pretty much slept for 12 hours or so.

My sinuses are starting to clear up, hooray! It's partly the antibiotics, I'm sure (these have a special ingredient, Clavalanic acid, that helps get rid of infections with resistant bacteria, which might explain why no other courses of antibiotics have helped get rid of this). My ears are popping like crazy, and while my sense of smell was okay before, I'm now catching little whiffs of all kinds of stuff (my perfume drawer was driving me nuts last night; I had to get up and shut the drawer!).

I kept coming to the surface last night, and for some weird, weird reason, I was always dreaming about Alan Rickman (no, I haven't seen an Alan Rickman film lately, and no, I don't have a thing for him or anything like that, so I can't figure out why I was dreaming about him all night). It's the first time in a long time I've been able to remember any of my dreams, though. I don't know what that means (Fibromyalgia sufferers don't lack REM sleep, they lack deep sleep, and of course, I've no way of knowing how much deep sleep I got).

I do feel pretty okay, though. Not especially fatigued or anything. My back is a little stiff as it always is when I sleep too long, but even my neck isn't too stiff.

I've been feeling really crappy lately (for the past several weeks, ever since this year's hay fever started), so I'm hoping that it really is related to the sinus problem and that the combination of antibiotics and nose drops (which I still find very weird and I hate the taste of them when they run out in the back of my throat, ugh!) will improve my general state of health.

And then if I can get rid of my teeth (yes, all of them; the gum disease is very pronounced and treatment is lengthy, costly, and probably wouldn't save all my teeth, anyway), that'll be one less persistant infection in my bloodstream, and perhaps I'll enjoy better general health. One can hope.

Went to the doctor today to get my usual course of anti-depressants for the winter. It doesn't totally alleviate the Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it helps, so I take them, generally starting around the equinox and continuing through August or so. It keeps me from totally losing the plot for the 2-4 weeks around the solstice, generally.

I also spoke to the doctor about the sinus problems I've been having lately. He said this year has been very bad for allergies and sinusitis (lots of bush fires in the area, lots of particles of stuff in the air). He gave me a prescription for anti-biotics and I've also got a prescription anti-inflammatory (for something else, but it helps for all kinds of inflammation, including sinus). Plus, he told me to get some saline nose drops and really irrigate my sinuses regularly to help clear the irritants and infection. It's VERY weird putting a dropperful of stuff up my nose, not very comfortable (you know that feeling when you get water up your nose in the pool? like that, but not as painful because this hasn't got chlorine in it). Not sure yet if it helps, but I seem to be breathing a bit clearer at the moment, so here's hoping.

I'm definitely hoping that the sinus problem can be cleared up so that I sleep better. Poor quality sleep is common when you've got sinus problems (sleep apnea, among other things), and that leads to fatique and chronic pain (my old friends). If I can get better quality sleep, I'll feel better in general, I'm sure, so if pouring this weird solution up my nose will help, you can bet I'll be doing it!

It'll be the equinox in a few days. This means I need to get to the doctor and get my annual prescription for anti-depressants in order to combat my customary Seasonal Affective Disorder. The medication doesn't completely relieve the symptoms, but it takes the edge off. I'm not thrilled to take it, mind you, but it's better than totally losing the plot for 2-6 weeks (depending on how limited the natural sunlight is that year and various other factors I haven't determined) because I just want to hybernate!

Autumn hayfever is upon me. I'm sleeping very poorly, my eyes are gummy and sticky, I've got headache most of the time, and a lot of sinus pressure and swelling. It sucks, basically. Bleah.

Feeling better. The physical fatigue is much improved, and even the customary pain in my feet is better (yes, I have aching feet all the time for no apparent reason, it's weird, but a known sign of FMS for some reason). No headaches, no stiff neck.

My brain is also finally starting to function properly again, thank goodness. I used to have this incredibly strong, flexible mind, I could do all kinds of stuff. Never had to write stuff down (okay, I had to write numbers down because of the dyscalculia), never had to take notes, never forgot things, could multi-task like a demon (bet you didn't know demons multi-task, didja?). There's a saying, "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most," and that's just how I feel. It's incredibly frustrating not to have that ability to do multiple things and remember stuff and just plain get stuff done. I hate it. The chronic pain is, well, a pain, the physical fatigue is annoying and occasionally worrisome, but the lack of mental acuity really, really, really bothers me.

Anyway, the increased magnesium seems to be helping, or perhaps it's just that the flare-up is subsiding on its own, but whatever it is, I'm feeling better and able to think and do more. I expect to be good to go very, very soon, thank Deity.

I thought briefly that I was going to rally from my bout of fatigue, but it's still with me. The pain isn't too bad, thankfully, but the fatigue is terrible and my mental capacity is pretty thin at the moment. Increasing the magnesium seems to have helped the muscle pain (or maybe it was coincidental, hard to tell), but nothing is helping the mental lethargy. Not caffeine, not low-GI food, not high-GI food (yeah, I tried both, why not), basically nothing.

I also find myself craving certain foods, mostly high-fat ones, which is a very odd thing. I hadn't noticed it before, but I'll keep an eye on that and see if it's a pattern or just a coincidence that when I have a flare-up like this, I also crave high-fat foods...

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this isn't a virus. It feels and looks like a fibromyalgia flare-up. And unfortunately, there's not much that helps that other than trying to take care of myself, getting enough rest (but not too much, because if I sleep too much I get really bad muscle aches!), eating regularly and properly, etc. And eventually it goes away.

I just wish I knew what the heck triggered this, so that I can avoid it in the future! I can't afford to have days or weeks slip by when I'm mentally incapacitated. I've got stuff to DO, dammit! I'm capable of carrying on a conversation (more or less) and I'm not brain dead or anything, but the mental fatigue kicks in REALLY quickly when I do just about anything more mentally taxing than, oh, writing a blog entry... It sucks, pretty much. Yuck.

I feel a bit better, physically, but mentally I"m still really out of it. My concentration is terrible, and my mental motivation (for lack of a better term) is not there at all, i.e., I can't get myself motvated to do, well, anything. I dunno what the heck is going on, but I've decided to increase my magnesium supplements, as this is something that frequently helps when I get in a slump like this (no, I don't know specifically why; I only know from trial and error that it does help).

I'm so tired lately. I have no idea why. Yesterday I went to bed at the obscenely early hour of 9:30 (early for me, anyway) and was asleep by 10pm. I got up today around 8:30 or so, and I'm still completely exhausted. No amount of caffeine seems to help, and even my usual energy-boosting breakfast of museli (it does great things for my metabolism!) hasn't helped. I just feel like I'm going to fall asleep at my desk and hit my forehead against the monitor...

[EDIT] I went and had a lie-down, and dozed off an on for a couple of hours. Felt a bit better upon rising. Now, several hours later, I have a tummy ache. Perhaps it's some sort of mild virus or something.

Either that or I'm preganant. Ha.

I had to go back to the doctor about my toe. The icky growth that I had on the toe (the granuloma) from the ingrown part still hasn't gone away, and, even more disturbing, the entire toenail is quite noticibly yellow.

Turns out that the toenail now has a fungal infection in it, and I'm going to have to take antibiotics for six months or more, and while on these antibiotics I can't drink alcohol (not that I drink a lot as it is, but still) and I have to be extra careful in the sun because it'll make me more susceptible to sunburn. Oh, and I have to be SURE to take my medication every single day, because missing even a couple of days can blow the whole regimine and it won't work.

For the granuloma, I've got an anti-inflammatory ointment, and every night I've got to soak my foot in salt water or water with epsom salt (which I prefer, anyway), and then carefully dry the foot and icky growth and put on some of the ointment to help the thing go away.

And if this doesn't work (I have to go back to the doctor in three months to get it checked out), I'm going to have to have my entire toenail surgically removed.

So, hey, you know, when I get an ingrown toenail, I really make a production of it!

I've mentioned in this blog that I've had trouble with my left foot, including heel pain and a nasty bout of plantar faciitis. A good dose of prescription anti-inflammatories helped for a while, but it was slowly coming back...

Well, one of the things I've tried is various kinds of inserts for my shoes. The latest was gel heel cups that fit down in your shoes to cushion the heel.

Oh, and I bought a pair of fairly expensive leather shoes that are famous for being comfortable and supportive...

Anyway, Zoë was fascinated with the blue gel thingies in my shoes and kept fiddling with them, taking them out, carrying them off, etc. I kept finding them, but eventually I got to where I could only find one, so I put it in the left shoe and figured I'd find the other when I found it, expecting it to be very soon.

Turns out it wasn't quite as soon as I expected, and that the combination of the new shoes and a single heel cup mostly fix the problem. I'm thinking now that one of my legs is shorter than the other (I did have knee surgery on that leg years ago, perhaps there's some shortening due to that, I dunno), and using the single heel cup seems to work really well.

So, in a weird way, I have Zoë to thank for providing me with a way to deal with the wretched pain I sometimes get in my foot (or feet, but mostly just that one foot), by losing the gel insert. I also rather suspect that spending the extra money on really good shoes is worth it.

So there you go. No moral to the story, mind you. Just another weird and probably boring incident from my life.

Well, my toe feels pretty okay today. I'm still on pain relievers because it's not entirely okay yet, but it's not bad at all. The worst pain is in the knuckle, where he had to dig below the skin to get to the root of the nail. The place on the side where he removed the tumor and cut out the nail isn't really painful at all.

So, all is well in the land of Bonni's toenails at the moment. I'm sure you were sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to hear news, of course. (Note for the Sarcastically Challenged, although none of my regular readers are that, or they wouldn't be regular readers: Yes, I'm joking. I think Miranda and I are the only ones who are really interested in my toe at this point, and she's only interested because she's three and a busybody.)

The anesthetic wore off about 11:30 last night. I'd gone to have a rest and then I went to sleep around 9:30, and I woke about 11:30 when Andrew came to bed. I could feel that the anesthetic was starting to go, so I just quickly took a couple of the strong pain relievers I have (I was clever enough to take a bottle of water with me when I went to bed) and went back to sleep.

When I woke up at 7:30 or so, the toe was pretty uncomfortable, feels like a burning sensation, but it's not horrible. It's not actually worse than the infection was, and for that I didn't have the strong pain relievers, just over-the-counter stuff. I had some more pain relievers and have found that so long as there's no pressure on the toe from standing or walking, it's actually not painful at all. I am walking with a limp, and I went out today in my pink, wool-lined sheepskin slippers (and yes, they definitely look like slippers), but with the noticible limp I figured if anyone noticed my shoes, they'd just see the limp and figure out I had something wrong with my foot (or not; I actually don't care all that much).

Now it's 10:30 and I feel pretty okay. I was lightheaded and very tired last night, but today it's not too bad at all. Tomorrow I go back to have the bandage taken off and so the doctor can look over the wound and make sure it's healing and such, and after that, it's just a matter of waiting for it to heal.

Okay, I'm not all that comfortably numb, but my toe is numb and it's not painful at the moment. I just came from the doctor, where I had surgery to cut out the edge of my ingrown toenail. Doctor said it was the worst he's seen in a very long time. Eeek. He showed me the nail and how far embedded it was in my flesh, and it's no wonder it hurt like crazy and the tumor thingy wouldn't go away. Youch.

I expect that later, when the local anesthetic wears off (that, by the way, was painful going in), I'll be bitching about it, but for now I'm just a bit lightheaded and kinda tired and hoping that it heals nicely and without any complications (which I pretty much expect it to do, but you never know).

I'm going to go lie down now and read an ebook.

Went back to the doctor today (same practice, different doctor). I've been put on another course of antibiotics (different antibiotic this time) and in a couple weeks I need to go back and have minor surgery to get the edge of the toe removed. The doctor is of the opinion that once this kind of infection/tumor sets in, there's nothing to be done other than the surgery, so that's what I'll have.

I'm told it takes about twenty minutes, and that healing is pretty rapid (although it's painful at first).

So there you go. I have to get a piece of my toenail removed permanently. Wheee.

Well, that granuloma on my toe was getting better and now it's getting worse again. I'm going to have to go back to the doctor. I'll probably have to go back on anti-biotics and I'll probably get a referral to a specialist who will cut out the edge of that toenail to prevent this from happening again.

The weird thing is that it's not like I have constant problems with my toenails or anything. I haven't had an ingrown toenail in years.

I'm pretty sure that this is the toenail I dropped the brick on when I was four or five. Yes, I was playing with a brick (because it was there, okay?) and I dropped it and I lost the toenail entirely. Took months to grow back. I know it was one of my big toes and I'm almost certain it was this one, which may explain why it curves in so deeply on that side.

Anyway. Toe hurts. Tumor thingy is oozing and bleeding again. Gonna call the doctor and see what can be done. This has to be fixed. Ugh.

Well, I've had a sore toe for weeks now. It started as your normal, boring old ingrown toenail, which I don't get often, but every now and then have trouble with. This time, it was caused by letting my toenails get too long, which put unusual pressure on the edges of the toenail, and well, to make a long story short, I ended up with a nasty sore and infection that has led to a benign tumor known as a granuloma.

It's pretty painful, and it's quite gross, because there's this nasty, gooey little red growth on the side of my toenail and it weeps constantly and bleeds periodically. YUCK.

The doctor has given me antibiotics (Keflex) and some treatment information, like how to properly bandage it to keep it from having undue pressure on it, some things that may help (like soaking in warm water with some antibacterial soap in it), etc. With any luck, the antibiotics will knock out the infection and I won't have to have surgery (which is minor and can be done under local anesthetic, but is painful).

My plantar fasciitis has resolved, though (that was on the other foot), thanks to that very effective anti-inflammatory I got last time I had to go to the doctor.

I tell you, if it's not one foot, it's another...

Went to the doctor today and got a diagnosis on the foot. I apparently have plantar fasciitis, which is, basically, a kind of tendonitis that you get in your foot. (That's not exactly precise, but close enough.)

I've got some prescription anti-inflammatory medicine (something I've never had or heard of before, meloxicam, which has some very scary sounding side effects which, I was assured, are not all that common and tend to only last a few days), and the polite comment that being overweight will aggravate the condition (which I already knew and, as a matter of fact, have been working on, but that's a post for another day).

Other advice was to get myself a good pair of supportive shoes without soft soles that will compress and put pressure on the arches, use shoe inserts if it makes me feel do some calf-stretching exercises, and use ice if I've been on my feet and have a lot of pain (I prefer hot water with epsom salt, personally, but the doctor thought ice was better in this case).

If it doesn't get better in a reasonable amount of time, I'm to come back and I'll be referred to a physiotherapist who can show me how to tape it (actually, I can get that info on the net if I really want) or show me some exercises or motions to improve the situation.

So, it seems that tomorrow I'll be shopping for shoes, among other things.

Well, the miracle of the healing foot was apparently only temporary. As soon as the shoes started to "break in", the pain started to come back, which makes me think there's some sort of odd structural thing going on with my foot. The pain is now mostly in the heel rather than being in the arch, as well, and it's not as severe as it was, but it's definitely back.

So I'm going to give in and go to the doctor on Friday and see what they say. They may refer me to a specialist or something, I dunno. Probably send me to get xrays or some sort of pictures of the soft tissues or something, and tell me to take anti-inflammatories in the meantime (which I do already).

If this was in both feet, I'd think it was my weight causing problems, but in fact, it's only in the one foot, so I dunno what to think. Granted, getting rid of some of the weight would probably help, but that's a longterm solution, not a short term one...

I've had a fair bit of pain the past few days. Not sure why. I've got a couple of suspicions, but sometimes the pain comes without warning and for no discernable reason, so I could be way off.

Anyway, I finally took some strong pain reliever today and was amazed when it took effect, because I felt SO much better. I get so used to ignoring pain that I didn't realize just how much pain I was actually IN. I did notice that I was fairly irritable, but gee, when the pain eased with the medicine, I just felt so much better...

It's also past autumn equinox, which means it's probably time to start thinking about going to the doctor for anti-depressants. I'm not depressed, but I always get noticible Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I kinda lose the plot for four to six weeks around the winter solstice. If I take the anti-depressants, it's still there, but not as debilitating, so I generally just take my meds and keep taking them until I feel like I can stop taking them (some time in the spring).

I might also see if the doctor can fix me up with some really strong pain reliever. I don't need it often, but when I really hurt, I really need it (and I'm quite careful with drugs, as a matter of fact).

I'm also thinking strongly that I really seriously need to lose some weight. My poor old joints are in bad enough shape without dragging this extra stuff around all the time. I wouldn't go nuts with it, I'm not trying to become a size 8 or something (I've never, never ever been a size 8, except maybe when I WAS 8), but I had a dream last night in which someone told me that if I lost 50 pounds I'd feel better, and I tend to think that's probably true, so I think I'm going to check out Weight Watchers at Home...

I slept really well last night, and I don't have a backache today. Yay!

The sound sleep was probably because we put flannel sheets on the bed. Mmmmmm. COMFY! And very pleasantly warm (getting cold is a problem I frequently have).

Yesterday I got myself some inserts for my shoes. They're supposed to support your arches and align your feet so that you don't have heel/ankle/leg/back pain (whatever the issue might be; I have all of the above, especially the feet). So I wore them all day yesterday and although they feel kinda funny in there, by golly, my feet feel pretty okay today (still a little stiff, but it's an improvement), and my back feels remarkably good, which may be partly related to the good sleep.

Slowly, through trial and error, I'm figuring out how to manage this stupid disorder that I have to live with...

Currently taking (every day): A natural pain relief tablet (herbal, plus magnesium, vitamin E and a some other minerals), a soy-based menopause relief tablet (not that I'm menopausal, but it helps with hormonal stuff and prevents the occasional hot flash that I do get), 1500 mg of magnesium (taken in 500mg doses three times a day), calcium tablets with added vitamin D, zinc, copper, and manganese (1 tablet two times a day, a total of 1200mg of calcium), ginko biloba (3 times a day), and one acidophilus bifidus tablet (to keep my intestinal bacteria in good health and counteract the effects of the codeine I frequently have to take to manage pain). I have also been known to take a general multi-vitamin, but I haven't been lately and I don't seem to be missing it (I might look into it again; I need the iron as I tend to be borderline anemic, though that's not related to the FMS).

Sound like a lot? Yeah, it is. I had to get one of those pill holder things with the little compartments so I'd remember what I'd already taken and what I still needed to take. BUT... after lots of trial and error (the spirulina didn't do much at all, for what it's worth) and elimination trials, I've found that this stuff actually helps. Whew.

A few hours later, and I'm feeling MUCH better. I managed to push myself to that "Oh, no, now everything hurts and I'm exhausted," phase and, then, pushed right into "Hey, I feel pretty good now!"

I don't understand the mechanism here, but I'm thinking it might be endorphins. It's definitely related to doing certain kinds of tiring exercise, though. I know that I MUST exercise regularly (or I ache all over) and I know that if I do too much of the wrong kind of exercise I'll pay for it later, but certain kinds of exercise seem to actually help, although not always immediately.

I'm thinking it's aerobic exercise (that really gets the heart going) is what does the trick.... Hmmmm. Perhaps I should get on my exercise machine (one of those air walker deals) just a bit more often than I do....

I overdid it today, and now I'm paying for it. I'm hurting all over and I'm really exhausted. And I'm upset about something, something that I pretty much deserve to be upset about, but knowing I deserve it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I know, because I know myself well, that I'll just have to wait, and try not to push myself, and eventually it'll become tolerable again... all of it.

Understanding and Treating Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia (good descriptions and some interesting medical statistics)

Well, I read on a research site a while back that phenylalanine (the artificial sweetner aspartame, known by the brand name "NutraSweet") can cause the symptoms of FMS to be worsened, particularly when taken in large doses. Since I did have a rather big Diet Coke habit, I thought maybe I'd stop taking it for a while and see.

Guess what? Avoiding the stuff seems to be helping. A LOT. I still have some level of pain and fatigue, but it's greatly reduced from what it was before.

I don't know if it's 100% because of the phenlyalanine, though. I've also been taking spirulina (which may be helping somewhat) and the weather has been pleasant and warm, which also tends to help.

I think when my current supply of spirulina is gone I'll experiment with NOT taking it and see how it goes... Or I'll keep taking it and reintroduce the phenlyalanine and see what happens, but at this point I'm very happy to just avoid the stuff, even if it means I have to get my caffeine fix elsewhere (a nice strong cup of tea with a non-phenlyalanine sweetner seems to do the trick, and I really needed to cut back on my caffeine consumption anyway). If I don't feel like having a full-sugar soft drink, I just have water, which I quite like to drink anyway.

Hell, for all I know the increased water intake is helping, as well. Whatever it is, I'm very pleased to be in less pain.

Well, I've been taking spirulina for a week now and while I can't say if there's much improvement in my FMS symptoms, I can say that it seems to have had a positive effect on my appetite. I'd read that it can act as a natural appetite suppressant, and by golly, it is. I'm not starving myself or anything (yeah, like that's going to happen, uh-huh), and I'm not actively "dieting", but my appetite does seem to be decreasing, and that's a good thing, as I certainly tend to overeat. I must say, losing a few kilos would do some good with some of the body aches, if nothing else (particularly the lower back pain, I think).

So there you go. More on the subject of bluegreen algae (which is what spirulina is, after all) when/if I've got anything more to say.

Just found this site through GoogleAds (not directly, but it was just one additional click): HealingWell Fibromyalgia Resource Center. Interesting articles there about using Cognitive Therapy and self-hypnosis/meditation to cope with the symptoms. I already do the hypnosis thing to deal with other issues (the Anxiety/Panic Disorder and PTSD). I don't see why I can't learn to apply it in other ways (I probably already do on some level, to cope with the pain; I wonder what I can do about the fatigue... Hmmm...).

Well, since I'm no longer in denial about my chronic pain and frequent fatigue (note: not just "tiredness'", but real medical fatigue, like in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, although that's not what I have), I've decided to occasionally comment on matters medical here. Don't worry, this won't turn into a "Bonni's Aches and Pains" blog or anything, but I figure other chronic pain sufferers or Fibromyalgia folks might get something useful from it, and, hey, maybe ordinary people who just have a minor problem with, say, headaches might learn something. Or not.

ANYway, Andrew just passed on a link to me that frightens me a bit. It seems that Chronic Pain Shrinks People's Brains. Eeek. That's not comforting...

Trying something new, to see if it helps. I've found that taking magnesium and calcium supplements helps a lot with the pain management, and that taking acidophilus helps with, errr... let's just say I take a lot of codeine to manage the pain and codeine can have a particular side effect that taking acidophilus helps.

I've experimented with various supplements, stopping them to see if they're really helping, etc., and I'm absolutely convinced that the calcium and magnesium is necessary and helpful, so I always make sure to take it, and I try to remember to take a multi-vitamin, as well, because I tend to get iron-depleted fairly easily.

I also take ginkgo biloba and find it's very helpful for dealing with the "brain fog" I sometimes get (and which drives me mad, I HATE it).

Well, today I was in a health food shop and I decided to try spirulina supplements to see if it helps. So far, all it's doing is making me kinda gassy (I know, I know, too much information), but I expect that's something you get used to as you take it. I don't believe for a minute that it's the "miracle supplement" that some people claim it is, but I did a fair bit of research on it and overall it seems like it might be helpful. And, well, if it's not, I just won't take it any more, right?

I just figure that if ginkgo and magnesium can have a profound positive effect, there are probably other things that will, as well, and I want to find them. The condition I have is chronic, and it doesn't go away and there's no cure or treatment, only "management". I may as well accept that and get on with the mangement/coping part of the process. Heaven knows I stayed in denial long enough. Bleah.