I saw something this morning that has been weighing heavily on my heart all day. After I took Miranda to school, I stopped at the bank to get some cash out. When I got out of the car, I saw a dog, some sort of bull terrier (the ones with the big, broad skulls), chained to a post. It was looking very anxiously at people and making kind of whimpery/excited noises. I went over to the dog to pet it, since it seemed so anxious.

While I was there with it, a man came out of one of the shops with a dish of water. He said, "Is this your dog?" and I said, "Oh, no, I just came over to pet it." I talked to him a bit more, and it seems the dog had been there for quite some time. Like, since very early in the morning. And there was absolutely no sign of the dog's owner. He did tell me that they had looked up the name of an animal welfare group and they would be calling if the dog remained there. I felt both relieved and saddened.

The dog was very sweet, and seemed so very anxious. She (I assume it was a she; I didn't really look all that hard, though) would have happily climbed into my lap and had a big cuddle with me if there had been an opportunity. She was just so happy that some person was there with her, paying attention to her. Poor, sweet dog. I suspect that some coward brought the dog out there in the small hours of the morning and chained it up and just left it, knowing that people in the shops would see it and eventually call animal welfare. This was a nice dog, very obviously a dog that wanted to be with people, wanted to please people. And there she was, abandoned on the street like somebody's rubbish...

I hope very much that this sweet doggy ends up being placed with some nice family or person who will love and appreciate what a lovely dog she is. Big, happy grin, such gratefulness for attention, so affectionate... I hope she gets a new "pack" where she can be properly cared for and treasured. And yes, I already mentioned this to God.

As for the person who left her there, I just want to say that what goes around comes around, and you will certainly reap the harvest from the seeds you sow with your attitudes, your actions, and your unwillingness to take responsibility for those in your care. I'm not worried. It'll come back to you. It always does. Always.

Got some weird sh*t from eBay today.

First, a notice that my "bid" had been cancelled on an item I bought months ago via BuyItNow. Item was bought, paid for, has been received. I have no clue how/why they would cancel a "bid" on an item I bought months ago. Weird, I think.

Then I go on to the next email and find that my account has been suspended.

This is an account I've had since 2000. It's my primary buying account, and it's associated with a PayPal account, so it's not like they can't check out who I am. I have literally thousands of dollars worth of purchases on that account, and 100% feedback. I have never done anything with that account except buy (I don't think I've even posted on any boards with it).

A few years ago, when I got just a little to outspoken on the eBay boards, they suspended my posting ability. They suspended my selling account (which I still have but no longer use), my posting ID, and my buying account from using the boards. No biggie (I was sick of the boards anyway), but they did manage to CORRECTLY figure out which accounts where mine.

This time, though, they can't work it out. They just plain suspended my buying account:

Hello [username], [email address]

We regret that your eBay account has been suspended due to the following policy violation:

*Previously Suspended User*
eBay prohibits users who are currently suspended from registering new accounts. Our records indicate that your account is associated with the following previously suspended account(s):
mysterycoms

To familiarise yourself with this policy, go to:

http://pages.ebay.com.au/help/policies/rfe-previously-suspended.html

For details on our other policies, go to:

http://pages.ebay.com.au/help/policies/overview.html

Due to the suspension of your account you are prohibited from using eBay in any way. This includes registering a new account.

Please note that this does not relieve you of your obligation to pay any fees you may owe to eBay.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

eBay International AG

My only response to this is.... WTF? I have NO CLUE who that user is. I have NO CLUE why they would associate my buying account with that user. And they clearly have NO CLUE because they haven't suspended my other accounts.

I'm in two minds about this. One part of me wants to fight it and show them that they screwed up YET AGAIN. Another part of me says, "Pffft. F**kit. They want to get rid of a 100% FB buyer, well, let them!"

Is there any way to appeal an eBay suspension? There doesn't appear to be....

Okay, just now I went and investigated a bit more. Apparently, I owe them $0 and this is why my account has been suspended. I'm not making that up.

Your account balance is: AU $0.00 as of Dec-22-05 07:53:36 PST

They give me the option of paying them by DirectPay, Credit Card, or I can mail in a money order. For ZERO dollars. On a seller account that I don't have (all my seller accounts are closed). For some association with some other user I've never heard of. I mean, W. T. F.

Okay, just for fun I tried to make a one-time payment of ZERO dollars. The system won't let me.

Honestly, what a bunch of idiots. They go on and on about how they want to "improve the buying expeirence"? Well, this isn't improving my buying experience... Really, I'm just to the point of not caring any more. They can't manage to keep their accounts straight and their stuff in order, well, they DESERVE to lose a customer.

Senior Moment: 2060 A.D.

Aspiring super-villain Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) wants to join the Evil League of Evil and win the girl of his dreams, but his nemesis, Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion), stops him at every turn in this three-part musical.

Neil Patrick Harris sings really well, I had no idea. The whole thing is totally brilliant.The music is excellent, and I particularly enjoyed the rhyming of "failure" with "Australia".

Late last year, or maybe it was early this year, I wrote here about my resolution to be happy. It wasn't a New Year's resolution because I made it on Boxing Day (26 December), when we went for a family day out and just had a perfect and incredibly happy day.

Anyway, I've actually mostly achieved it. Seriously. I'm happy most of the time. And I don't mean just okay, I mean, I'm actually happy. Even when stuff looks crappy (and sometimes it really does), I tend not to get too bogged down with it. I just prefer to be happy and to believe that it will all work out and guess what? It does. And that makes me happy. And the cycle continues...

Mostly, this is a profound attitude change, and the breaking of a lifetime of habit of thought. It's taken some time and vigilance to re-train my habitual thought patterns, but I'm doing it, and the old, negative thoughts are becoming less and less common, and the new, happy thought patterns are becoming the norm.

I know, it probably sounds like some sort of weird denial or something, but honestly, it isn't. I know denial (trust me on that one), and I know that thing where you pretend to be happy or you ignore what's really going on and smile, anyway... This is totally different. It's real, genuine joy. It flows from somewhere inside me, like a wellspring. I am not always overtly aware of it, but it takes very little effort to just relax and let it flow. Even when I'm tired and cranky and situations are not what I would like them to be, I can tap into it. Sometimes it's just a sort of pleasant contentment, sometimes it's full on bliss, but it's always there, if I just let myself experience it.

Good stuff, happiness. And surprising, too. I used to think that it was impossible to be happy most of the time (let alone all the time), but that was when I thought that happiness depended on external circumstances. Now I know better. Happiness, joy, that all comes from inside... I'm grateful that I've found out how to tap into it.

85%DRUNKARD

(Note: I actually drink only rarely. That I happen to know a fair bit of trivia regarding alcohol is just coincidental. I'm just saying. Just because I know about it, doesn't mean I do it. I actually know about a lot of stuff that I don't do...)

Just four days after escaping a federal minimum-security work camp, "Spam King" Eddie Davidson shot his wife and child and wounded a teen-age girl before turning the gun on himself.

(I've always maintained that spammers are the scum of the planet. Here's yet more evidence for that.)

Baby's First Internet is an amusing illustrated online book. Hint: It's not really for babies.

Okay, I haven't really looked at the new template system in MT since we upgraded a couple months back. My old template still works (obviously). Tonight I had a look, because I've set up MT for the website of the friend I mentioned. Youch. I mean, I "get it", more or less. It's now all modular. I certainly understand the concept of modular design, but there are a LOT of modules. At least they're all in one place, unlike some systems (like shopping carts), but, still, this is a big learning curve.

However, as mentioned, I intend to redesign this blog in the forseeable future, so doing her blog will at least give me some grounding... Honestly, I think I'm going to end up doing a hybrid of the modules and traditional template. I seriously cannot be bothered to customize a bazillion individual modules. Bleah.

I'm going to do a complete overhaul on this blog. I haven't decided what I'm going to do to it. The cute unicorn caricature self-portrait is on my personal pages and will remain there, but this blog is due to get done over. I'm thinking something multi-coloured and abstract, with a funky edge, but who knows what it will end up being. Hell, I might even turn comments back on. Woot.

That being said, I've been extremely absorbed with doing a website for a friend of mine who runs a quite unique business. She's using the pink and navy blue fairy design that was once on Zoë's website, and I'm getting her set up with content and so forth. I'm doing pretty well with it, but, man, I am RUSTY in some things. Like, say, rollover menus. I haven't done one of those in ages, but I did one this time (because it looks so cool with the design), and I'd forgotten how fiddly it is to do.

I'm also trying to figure out how to get Blogger to cooperate with uploading stuff to her website, rather than hosting on Blogspot. I had it working, and then her host put in the CNAME as recommended by Blogger (at least, if I understood the instructions that's what they recommend), and then it didn't work... Argh. Also, Blogger requires you to have a full on domain or sub-domain in order to upload stuff. WTF? They can't deal with directories? You can FTP into any directory structure you want, but you have to have an actual domain, I don't get it. Anyway, it's proving to be a huge pain in the neck. I really like the Blogger interface and it's very easy to use and straightforward, but if I can't make it work, I'm going to install Movable Type for her (she's got a super fantastic hosting package, so it's no problem to install anything she needs).

I'm also find the blogger template system to be... Well, let's just say it's been many, many years since I made a custom Blogger template fully from scratch, and there have been a lot of changes since I did it. Like I said, I may end up just installing Movable Type and leaving it at that. At least I'm more or less familiar with the MT template system, having used it for a while.

Of course, I say that now, but the last time I did a redesign on this blog, I was pulling out my hair trying to get the template to work because they'd made changes since the last time I'd done a template, so, well, it may be a really good thing that I have a lot of hair...

Mind you, this particular friend is well worth it, and so is her website. What's a little hair between friends, really.... ?

I love JibJab.

I took a test to assess my "Signature Strengths", offered by the University of Pennsylvania. You have to sign up to the site, but there are lots of tests, and it's kind of interesting. Here are my top five personality strengths. I'm not surprised, other than to have seen that Spirituality actually ended up sixth, but then, most of the questions had more to do with religion than spirituality, and I'm not very religious (but I'm highly spiritual).

Your Top Strength
Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Your Second Strength
Humor and playfulness
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.

Your Third Strength
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Fourth Strength
Curiosity and interest in the world
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Your Fifth Strength
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Now, I admit, I could have actually fudged the test results if I'd wanted to. I'm pretty smart, and I could tell where a lot of the questions were leading, so to speak. And some of the questions were stupidly worded, such as, "I can't imagine lying or cheating," which is just dumb. Of course I can imagine it. Duh. I just don't do it...

Anyway, there are a lot of interesting tests there. How much use they'd be to you, I can't say, but if you've got some time to kill and you enjoy doing psychological personality assessment tests, go around to the Authentic Happiness Test Center on the University of Pennsylvania website and check it out.

For some reason, Andrew and I both found this entertaining. Hmmm....

(Yes, I'm still having fun with writing bizarre and amusing headlines.)

What do you think of that great entry title, eh? I think I'm getting the hang of how to write great headlines... Anyway...

Today we have some new birds in the tree outside my office. I've seen all sorts of birds out there, including magpies and cockatoos and Crimson Rosellas and King Parrots, but today, new ones: Eastern Rosellas (note: these are not the same as Crimson Rosellas, which are primarily red and blue; Eastern Rosellas are multi-coloured, but not to be confused with Rainbow Lorikeets).

*happy sigh* Life is good. There are Eastern Rosellas in the tree!

The redhead looked around
For Herself
Worthy to be noticed
she deserves this
The age of miracles is not past
You won't beleive the gold I found!

They'd have to get rid of the head of the American eBay, Lorrie Norrington. Here's the video to show you just who's running eBay these days:

And they wonder why people don't trust them?

Yesterday, I came across this entry at CopyBlogger about writing great headlines for your blog. While I found it quite interesting, I admit that I didn't think most of them would work for my personal blog.

I showed it to Andrew, and he and I had a bit of a giggle with it, using a title for an upcoming article he intends to right about deriving approximations for transcendental functions (yes, it's geeky, and no, I have no clue what it is, but it was really funny). So he suggested I try it with some title from my blog. I had a look and decided on: "I nearly wet myself laughing"

Who Else Wants to Wet Themselves Laughing?

The Secret of Wetting Yourself Laughing

Here is a Method That is Helping My Readers to Wet Themselves Laughing

Little Known Ways to Wet Yourself Laughing

Get Rid of Wet Knickers from Laughing Too Hard Once and For All

Here's a Quick Way to Wet Yourself Laughing

Now You Can Have Wet Knickers from Laughing

Wet Yourself Laughing like Me

Have Wet Knickers You Can Be Proud Of

What Everybody Ought to Know About Wetting Yourself Laughing

But wait! There's more! CopyBlogger offers 7 More Sure-Fire Headline TemplatesThat Work!

Give Me a Great Laugh and I'll Give You Wet Knickers

If You Don't Wet Yourself Laughing Now, You'll Hate Yourself Later

The Lazy Laughers Way to Wetting Themselves

Do You Recognize the Early Warning Signs of Wetting Yourself Laughing?

See How Easily You Can Wet Yourself Laughing

Do You Make These Mistakes while Wetting Yourself Laughing?

That was fun. And silly. It's clear I have too much time on my hands (and it's ticking away, ticking away, for me, I've been listening to Styx lately, can you tell? No? Then you should see my upcoming article What Everyone Should Know About the Lyrics of Styx!).

I hate to think what sort of weird fetish searchers are now going to hit this page once it gets into the search engines. Perhaps I should mention spanking, just for good measure....? (Sorry to disappoint you if you came here looking for fetish material. Unless you're into BBW redheads, you're out of luck, I'm afraid, and even then, there's nothing all that interesting here about this particular BBW redhead, from a fetish point of view...)

For the second time in a couple of months, I ordered a CD because of posts in a forum I hang out in. Last time it was a user who went by the nick of Lorelei and it made me crave Styx. This time it was someone who made reference to Shambala, which, of course, made me want to listen to Three Dog Night.

I am old, and I don't care who knows it!

Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala

And who couldn't like:

Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me

Mmm, yeah. These are songs from the days when musicians were actually, you know, musicians....

With the news today that eBay was ordered to pay $61 million to settle a lawsuit in France and the news that the Australians are preventing eBay's plans to require 100% PayPal for all sellers for all listings, there has been much cheering from the sidelines. It seems that there everybody is celebrating eBay's misfortunes. It is understandable that eBay's competitors, like Google, Amazon, and Craigslist, would be rejoicing today but there are literally hundreds of websites, blogs, and bulletin boards where thousands of people are doing the "Happy Dance". It is crystal clear, even to eBay, that there is widespread anger toward eBay. So the question is "How did eBay Become the Company Everybody Loves to Hate?"

I am totally showing my age, but this clip completely and utterly delighted me. It's from a very short-lived sitcom of 1979 called "Angie". It starred Robert Hays (who went on to star in the "Airplane!" films and then not much else) and Donna Pescow (who first came to the attention of the public in the mysteriously popular "Saturday Night Fever"). It also had a bunch of people I don't know at all, but Doris Roberts did, of course, go on to play Raymond's mother, Marie (in "Everybody Loves Raymond," a show I have only watched when it's on late at night in syndication after Letterman and I'm too lazy to get up and turn off the television as I'm working at the computer). Oh, and I remember Debralee Scott for some reason, too.

Anyway, the thing that I love most about this clip is how very, very 1979 it all is. The hair (I had that haircut, but I'm not saying which one, oh, okay, all of them at some point), the opening credit sequence, the music, even the font. I LOVE it.

It's the Seventies, the decade that style forgot, perfectly preserved in this delightful YouTube clip... *happy sigh*

For all of you who are still American or who celebrate American Independence Day. I was quite taken by the butterfly design on this graphic for various reasons.

So I got a phone call yesterday. I should note that our phone is silent (unlisted) and we've only had the number for a matter of weeks. We also don't actually use it for anything. We only got the landline because we had to have it in order to get ADSL. The only calls we receive on it are telemarketers (though I've recently put it on the Do Not Call list, so that should stop) and the occasional charity organisation looking for donations. Presumably, they either guess the number, or they have it on their records from whomever had the number before we did. Since we never get calls for them, I assume the number has been unused for quite some time.

Normally when the phone rings I pick it up and quickly and gently put it back in the cradle, effectively hanging up on the caller (no, I don't worry about accidentally hanging up on someone I want to talk to; if I want to talk to them, they have my mobile number). Yesterday, I did this repeatedly and yet the phone rang every half an hour like clockwork. They couldn't get the hint, it would seem...

So I picked it up. I said, "Hello?" and the voice on the other end was male and very obviously Indian. Before I continue with this story, I want to make it very clear that I am not a racist and I have no issues with Indians. I've done business with Indian companies, I have had Indian (and Pakastani) friends and co-workers, and I quite admire many aspects of traditional Indian culture. I also understand that the call centres in India are staffed with people just trying to make a living, and I don't begrudge them that, particularly, so long as they leave me out of it.

Back to Raj or Punkaj or Shankar or Ganesh or Apu or whomever it was on the line. I don't actually know his name because he didn't tell me and I didn't ask. Because I've done business with a Raj and my husband works with a Raj, I'll just refer to my caller by that name (it's a nice name).

So Raj says, "Hello, I would like to speak to [unintelligible name that might possibly have been Chloë]".

Me: Nope, sorry. Nobody here by that name.
Raj: Oh, well, uh, is this [rattles off a number].
Me: [pause] Actually, I'm not sure. We've only had this phone for a couple of weeks and I haven't memorised the number. (This, by the way, is absolutely true. I wasn't just yanking his chain.)
Raj: Uh, well, I can speak to you... this is your number, right?
Me: Wait. Hang on. WHO did you want to speak to?
Raj: The person whose number this is. The householder...
Me: No. I don't want to talk to you.
Raj: Why not?! (Obviously now, he's off of his routine and totally rattled. He was practically sputtering at this point.) But it's about your number!
Me: Nope, sorry. Please stop calling.

And then I hung up the phone, but as I was putting it back, I could hear Raj's voice, filled with shock and confusion, as he tried to convince me that I should talk to him about my "number"... It's amazing the things that will make me smile.

Starbucks Corp. on Tuesday effectively ended its era of blanket expansion by saying it will close 500 more locations in the U.S. and cut 7% of its work force.
[...]
During the last fiscal year, Starbucks opened about 2,500 new cafes across the globe, or about seven outlets per day. The purpose of its rapid expansion was to boost sales growth and siphon traffic away from some of its stores where long lines were driving away customers.
 
Also fueling the push was company research that showed people sometimes weren't willing to cross the street to buy a cup of coffee. But the density of Starbucks stores in places like New York and other large cities turned the chain into a symbol of ubiquity, spawning countless jokes.
 
Last year, as Starbucks's sales began to soften, it became clear that the company's expansion was cannibalizing its sales in a way that was threatening the chain's success, as well as causing the quality at its existing locations to slip. Analysts have said that Starbucks lowered the bar for choosing new locations in recent years.

For Tracy Mooney, a married mother of three in Naperville, Ill., the decision to abandon cyber-sense and invite e-mail spam into her life for a month by participating in a McAfee experiment was a bit of a lark.
 
The idea of the Spammed Persistently All Month (S.P.A.M.) experiment -- which fittingly started on April Fool's Day -- was to have 50 volunteers from around the world answer every spam message and pop-up ad on their PC.
 
What would be the experience in 10 countries when everyday people, armed with a PC and e-mail account McAfee provided for the Global S.P.A.M. Diaries project, clicked through the spam and chronicled the results?

(Note: If you weren't already aware, this project definitely highlighted the connection between spam and criminal activity. Those who think spam is "just a nuisance" are wrong. It's more than a nuisance. It's dangerous.)

First, a quote, regarding the public meeting held by the ACCC with regard to eBay trying to force everyone to use PayPal for everything:

eBay Australia managing director Simon Smith, visibly frustrated by the number of barbs fired in his direction, read from a prepared statement and would not answer any further questions.

That pretty much sums up Simon Smith's management style right there. Fact is, this is the man who compared not offering PayPal to selling heroin and said, more or less, that consumers are too stupid to know which payment plan they want to use, so eBay has to decide for them, for their own good. His style has always been "read from a statement and then stonewall, while looking frustrated and perplexed when people are upset and angry." He is, in my opinion, just as utterly clueless as the rest of eBay management, and he's extremely patronising (there, there, little consumer, you just let big Daddy eBay look after you).

And elsewhere, EBay Is Ordered to Pay $63 Million in LVMH Lawsuit.

The thing I love most about this one is this part of eBay's statement:

... today's ruling is about an attempt by LVMH to protect uncompetitive commercial practices at the expense of consumer choice and the livelihood of law-abiding sellers ...

Hmmm. Really? Sort of like mandatory PayPal is uncompetitive commercial practice at the expense of consumer choice and the livelihood of law-abiding sellers?

There you have it, folks. Corporate black pot calls corporate black kettle black.

Oh, and speaking of eBay, lots of good reading on the ACCC site. I particularly recommend the submissions from OZtion and this anonymously published submission (disregard that they apparently used Comic Sans in a formal legal submission; some people just really don't understand how to use fonts).

A couple of years ago, I saw this coming. Well, not the specifics, but I could see that eBay was about to go down the gurgler. I didn't expect it to be this entertaining, however...

Okay, the title of this post has nothing to do with the content, other than a very vague word play. I just really like Mel Brooks' History of the World Part 1.

We have a tree in our front yard, just outside my office window. In that tree is a birdseed cake. Just now I looked out to see that there were a mated pair of King Parrots in the tree, eating seeds. I can't recall having ever seen King Parrots before in the wild! Woo! Parrots in the tree outside my window! Woo!

This tree has also been host to a flock of about six Sulpher Crested Cockatoos, a pair of Crimson Rosellas, and, most commonly, Australian Magpies, who live in the bigger tree nearby and seem to regard the property as their own.

All the years I've been here and I've still never gotten over parrots in the trees. It never fails to delight me...