I've been practicing meditation as a means of stress management for a long time. In more recent times, I've used meditation as an active healing tool. Today I read A Guide to Handling Guilt and Self-Punishment and found it to be pretty amazing, so here's the link. (Note: I put this same post in my trauma and recovery blog, but as that one doesn't allow the archived pages to be indexed by Google or anyone else (for privacy, and because I also record dreams there and that could turn up some really, really weird Google results!), I'm also putting the link here, as this blog does get indexed and I think this could be helpful to people.) Go on. Heal yourself. It feels pretty good.

I don't even know what to say about this photograph. Pamela Anderson at ninety, perhaps?

As I noted, I made a New Year's resolution (okay, I actually decided it on Boxing Day, i.e., the day after Christmas) to be happy. I'm doing okay with it. It's not as difficult as you might imagine... Even when I'm feeling irritable and cross and worried, I can reach into a place beyond or above or behind all of that (hard to describe) and find the joy.

I'm not claiming to be happy all the time. I think, as I did when I decided to be happy, that it's impossible to be happy every moment of every day. But... I can find true joy EVERY day (except for a couple or three days there earlier this month when I was physically quite ill, but even then I managed to at least find moments of peace).

I actually have quite a lot to worry about at the moment. I haven't written about it, and I won't, but I've got some pretty major concerns on all fronts, and thus far, no real way to deal with any of them. If I can be happy through that, well, I'm doing pretty well, I think.

Happiness is a worthy goal. I highly recommend it. It's your choice, just as it was and is mine.

Vegemite on toast as ART! (Well, it's not like I'd eat the stuff... I know, it's terribly unAustralian of me.)

A few months ago, as I've previously written, we had a hatched nest of baby spiders in our bedroom (just follow that link if you haven't heard the story or want to refresh your memory, and also the followup post). In a nutsell, we caught them over a period of days (nights, really; they're nocturnal) and let them outside. In total there were about thirty of them. Only a couple were injured or killed in the capture process, and those deaths/injuries were entirely accidental.

In the process of capturing baby spiders (which, by the way, got a lot faster as the days passed and they got older!), I learned the fine art of spider wrangling. Basically, if you put a cup or jar over them, they'll pretty much climb into it and you have them. Well, most spiders, anyway. The one that was in the house today required me to catch it on a piece of paper and scoop it into the cup.

The thing is, the spider that was in the house today was pretty weird looking. I hadn't seen one like it before, so when I got it outside, I had a good look at it, to note any distinguishing features. As it happens, it had a distinctive white tip on its tail. (Australians who are reading this are now saying something like, "Bloody hell!" or similar.)

It seems it was a White Tail Spider. They're quite venomous. There are stories of the bites of these spiders leaving gigantic boils or welts, and even developing into "necrotising arachnidism" (i.e., infection sets in and the flesh actually dies, i.e., necrotises, on a wide scale... YUCK and OUCH). Some sources, though say that no verified cases of White Tail bites have resulted in anything like that, and that it was just media hype. Necrotitis or not, the bite of a White Tail Spider can be very painful and cause swelling and possible infection. It's not something you want to have happen to you.

It's probably lucky for the spider that I didn't know what it was when I caught it. I might have just squished it. I mean, as it turns out, it didn't do me any harm whatsoever, and I am quite careful with unknown spiders, but still...

Anyway, it seems that White Tail Spiders actually prey on other spiders. The best way to keep them away from your house is to sweep down the webs of common house spiders. Yes, I did catch and release some thirty common house spiders a couple months ago, and yes, I did release them right outside the door.... Hmmmmmm.....

Now I'm kind of torn. I actually like house spiders (so long as the webs are outside and not inside), because they eat flies and other bugs that I don't want in my house. But I'm not keen on the idea that I'm actually attracting venomous spiders by doing that. Bit of a dilemma, actually.

I do wish I'd taken that little White Tail a bit farther away from the house when I released it. Had I known what it was... then again, had I known what it was, it might not have gotten released at all.

I don't know what's up with me and spiders lately, I really don't.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I am no fan of Tom Cruise. That being said, I'm not going to post links to his now-infamous Scientology videos (you can find them for yourself, I'm sure; they're all over the web). I will, however post this hilarious parody video starring Jerry O'Connell. I never thought much about him one way or the other prior to seeing this, but now, I actually like him. He should do more comedy! (Note: You don't need to have seen the original Tom Cruise videos to enjoy this parody; it's funny all on its own.)

First, Chris Crocker gained his fifteen minutes of fame by sobbing and begging us "leave Britney alone", and then countless parodies, including my personal favourites, Leave Blackbeard Alone and Seth Green's Leave Chris Crocker Alone.

Now, from the National Lampoon comes Britney Spears responding to the Chris Crocker phenomenon. Yes, I agree, leave him alone! Just do hilarious parodies of him, it's much more fun! (note: video contains language that may not be safe for work or small children)

Oh, and a funny and irreverent bonus, The Exorcism of Britney Spears from the same source.

I put Celebrity Money Bills Optical Illusion in my shared newsfeed links (y'all do read those right? right?), but it's so very cool I wanted to share it in the main blog to make sure people saw. It's cooooollllll.

Well, we managed to exceed our monthly bandwidth limit. What happens is when it's reached, you can still get on the net and all, and there's no extra charge, but they slow the connection speed. It's quite painful. The problem is that for a while we had an extra person using the network, and the network just can't tolerate that extra... Especially when it looks like there were very BIG things being downloaded (what, I have no idea; music? videos? no clue).

Anyway, things are quite slow and if I don't post a lot, well, that's why. Watching things spin while looking at a blank page is pretty tiresome, and believe it or not, I do actually have other things I can be doing. People sometimes think I haven't got a life in the non-virtual world, but I do. Having a nice, fast internet connection enables me to actually attend to them, too, rather than watching things spin while looking at a blank page...

Over at The Dilbert Blog, Scott Adams issued an interesting challenge. Describe yourself in one word. There was more to his post than that, which is why I linked it, but I was intrigued.

Didn't take me long to settle on one word that I think can describe me the most expressively: eccentric.

Andrew thought the word that best described him was "theorist". I thought "geek" fit better, but I get his point. Theoretically.

Whenever you see a hot girl in a magazine, just remember - you can't Photoshop a personality.

I really like The Alannah and Madeline Foundation. This is a really good charity organisation, that provides support to children who are victims of abuse, bullying, crime, and other violence. This is a cause I really believe in. I have, in the past, given reasonable sized "chunk" donations when they call, but today they called and I didn't feel I could make a commitment of that sort right now, but I felt really badly about it, because I really love this organisation and the work they do (their "Better Buddies" school anti-bullying program is brilliant). So I thought about it and went to their website and saw that I could be a Friend of the Foundation pretty easily, and the amounts are very palatable. The Silver level is less than I spend on going out to get a treat for dessert.

Anyway, I'm happy to say I'm now a Friend of the Foundation, and I would urge others who care about the needs of children to look into the Foundation and consider making a donation. I normally wouldn't make a pitch like this, but I sincerely believe in this charity, and I honestly support them, and I understand that they're currently in a funding crisis (this is a private charity, and they don't get any sort of government funding), so I thought I might as well. Please, at least go give it a look. Read the story about how the Foundation came to be formed, look at some of their programs, and then maybe make a donation.

The good karma will be worth it, but so will the feeling that you're actually helping some child who has been the victim of violence.

"I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution," Huckabee told a Michigan audience on Monday. "But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

(I'm nearly speechless. I cannot believe that someone running for president in the United States is actually saying things like that. Separation of church and state? Nah, we need to make everyone conform to Mike Huckabee's idea of what God wants! Unbelievable. Thomas Jefferson is spinning in his grave.)

Well, what can you say about Corey Worthington, other than this: Corey, mate! Wake up to yourself! You're a complete tool!

Oh, that and wondering aloud how very proud this boy's parents must be of him. They go away to the Gold Coast and leave their teenaged son unsupervised and he throws a party so obnoxious that it turns into a riot with people throwing bottles, breaking windows, and police showing up in helicopters. Way to go Mr and Mrs Worthington! You've done a fine job, and I hope your homeowner's insurance provides coverage in the case of "idiot son runs wild and trashes the joint with several hundred other people".

Let's hope that Corey Worthington's name slips happily into obscurity along with his ridiculous sunglasses. Bye, Corey. Hope you survive to adulthood, mate.

Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a dog, we have been notified by breed rescue that, at long last, our number has come up and ... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!

We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children up for adoption this weekend!

They are described as:

One male -- his name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Has had Chicken Pox and is current on all shots.

One female -- her name is Lexie, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, would do best in a one child household.

We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy. I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.

We may need to place the childrens sire as well if he does not bond well with the puppy. He is older but well trained and can be quite affectionate.

I haven't been that much of a Christina Aguilera fan, historically. Her early stuff was just entirely not to my taste, and her "Dirrty" phase was a big turn off, plus she used to like to go to award shows looking like a Barbie doll, complete with bizarrely frizzed nylon blonde hair and strange clothes with holes slashed in them.

That being said, she's been changing her image and style for a while now and I really did like her song, "Beautiful". Recently, she's been producing stuff that I do quite like ("Candy Man" is terribly clever, I think), and she can really, truly sing, which is something I always like to see (I'm absolutely not a fan of overproduced, pitch-corrected, is-it-real-or-a-computer type stuff).

Today I saw this song and I'm blown away. I'm going to have to get her latest album. I'm just going to have to do it. Well done, Christina, you've converted me. (And congratulations on the birth of your baby boy.)

Note the different reactions of the little boy and the little girl to the news about their soon-to-be-born sibling.

When I was a teenager, I pretty much always had older boyfriends.There seems to be a perception going around these days that any man over the age of eighteen who fancies a girl of sixteen or seventeen is some sort of pervert. Like, automatically. Look at a girl who isn't eighteen, you're disgusting. The moment she turns eighteen, well, lust away...

Anyway, I preferred older boyfriends because I didn't usually like boys my own age. I found them insipid, for the most part, and wholly unappealing. Okay, I did have the occasional crush on someone roughly my own age, but those crushes were uncommon, and I didn't pursue them. Who the hell wants to go out with an adolescent boy? Oh, yeah, I did date one guy who was close to my age (just a couple years older, but we went to school together), but he was queer, so it probably doesn't count (he used to take me to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and he dressed up as Dr Frank N. Furter, corset, fishnet stockings, platform shoes, and all).

Where was I? Oh, yes. Older boyfriends. I liked them because they had several things that boys my own age mostly didn't have: money, education, a car, life skills, a life that didn't depend on the ridiculousness that was high school...

Interestingly, the older I got, the younger my men got. I went from "a few years older than me" to "a few years younger than me" to "rather more than a few years younger than me". Andrew, in fact, is nine years younger than I am. (I'm going to keep him, though.)

My sister-in-law, Robyn, is a year older than I am, and her husband, Andrew's brother, is twelve years younger than me. Yeah, she's doing a Demi...

Anyway. I'm just saying.

I feel a little better today. The dizziness is not as severe, though it's still with me, and I managed to eat a whole banana (a large one, too). Took a while to get the banana down. I'm hoping it will stay there.

I also managed to drink about a litre of water so far. Stomach feels more or less okay. Well, "okay" being a relative term. My stomach feels like the food and/or water will probably stay down, but I'm still pretty queasy.

I've got really sore shoulders, too. Maybe from too much lying down yesterday, I don't know. Neck is really stiff, shoulders hurt.

Generally, I feel better than I did yesterday, but I still feel pretty crappy. Maybe tomorrow I'll be back my usual non-sick self. I hate being sick. I know I've said that, but it bears repeating. Because I do hate being sick.

Got some virus or something. Me, not the computer. The computer appears to be fine (it's freaky; it would NOT boot and now it does; all I can think is there was a loose cable or something, totally bizarre).

Me, on the other hand... I've spent a couple days with severe dizziness and nausea, and this morning I totally emptied my stomach, and I haven't had anything else to eat all day (it's after 10pm now as I write this). I did get brave enough to drink some water, but I still feel like crap. Headache, dizziness, feel just totally crapilicious. Ugh.

I hope to feel better tomorrow. I hate being sick.

My computer has crashed. Not sure yet what the problem is, but it won't boot. I'm hoping it's just a loose cable or similar, something simple.

I'll tell you, it couldn't have picked a MORE INCONVIENIENT time to do this!

Oh, in case you're wondering, I'm typing this on Andrew's laptop. Very slowly. This keyboard sucks.

Just poke a hole in a leaf! No, really!

What's more nerdy than Weird Al Yankovic's "White and Nerdy"?

The LEGO version.

Michigan spam king Alan Ralsky , his son-in-law and nine others have been indicted in Detroit on charges of violating federal anti-spam laws, the U.S. Attorney’s Office announced today.
 
The 41-count indictment said Ralsky, his son-in-law, Scott Bradley, 46, of West Bloomfield, and others used unsolicited e-mail to pump up the price of largely worthless stock in Chinese companies and sold the stock reaping huge profits and leaving Internet subscribers who purchased it holding the bag.
 
The operation also used illegal methods to maximize the amount of spam that could be sent while evading spam-blocking devices and tricked recipients into opening and acting on advertisements, prosecutors said. This included using false headers in email messages, using proxy computers to repay span, using falsely registered domain names to send spam and misrepresenting the advertising content of email messages, prosecutors said.
 
Ralsky’s crew also tried to send spam using illegal botnets, a network of robot computes infected with malicious software that instructed the infected computers to send spam, the indictment said.
 
The most serious charges against Ralsky and the others, mail and wire fraud, carry a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. The indictment also charged the group with violating federal spamming laws, money laundering and conspiracy.

And a line farther down in the article which I feel is rather an understatement:

News of the indictment brought cheers from anti-spammers.

I found this article at Autism News Beat highly amusing. In it, someone explains a few facts to Donald "I think it's the vaccines" Trump.

Well, I'm doing okay with my resolution to be happy every day. I'm not happy constantly, I think that's impossible. But I believe that the more I consciously seek joy and the more I refuse to allow the worries, fears, and constraints of every day life upset me, the more I'll grow into the habit of being happy pretty much all the time.

Pretty cool, eh?

The music for this is really what totally makes this video as far as I'm concerned. I giggled through almost all of it.

I rarely post about autism stuff here. I do read quite widely in the field, but there's a lot of vitriol and vituperance on the topic and I tend not to want to poison my world with the kind of verbal abuse and outright stupidity that flies back and forth in the online autism world. Suffice it to say that I have done extensive reading, and as I've been raising an autistic child since late 1999, I've got strong ideas on the subject, and those ideas do not include "vaccination makes people autistic".

That being said, what better way to finish off 2007 than to look at a most amusing judicial ruling on the admissibility of some of the favorite "expert" witnesses trotted out to try to demonstrate a link between mercury in vaccines and autism.