So I got a phone call yesterday. I should note that our phone is silent (unlisted) and we've only had the number for a matter of weeks. We also don't actually use it for anything. We only got the landline because we had to have it in order to get ADSL. The only calls we receive on it are telemarketers (though I've recently put it on the Do Not Call list, so that should stop) and the occasional charity organisation looking for donations. Presumably, they either guess the number, or they have it on their records from whomever had the number before we did. Since we never get calls for them, I assume the number has been unused for quite some time.

Normally when the phone rings I pick it up and quickly and gently put it back in the cradle, effectively hanging up on the caller (no, I don't worry about accidentally hanging up on someone I want to talk to; if I want to talk to them, they have my mobile number). Yesterday, I did this repeatedly and yet the phone rang every half an hour like clockwork. They couldn't get the hint, it would seem...

So I picked it up. I said, "Hello?" and the voice on the other end was male and very obviously Indian. Before I continue with this story, I want to make it very clear that I am not a racist and I have no issues with Indians. I've done business with Indian companies, I have had Indian (and Pakastani) friends and co-workers, and I quite admire many aspects of traditional Indian culture. I also understand that the call centres in India are staffed with people just trying to make a living, and I don't begrudge them that, particularly, so long as they leave me out of it.

Back to Raj or Punkaj or Shankar or Ganesh or Apu or whomever it was on the line. I don't actually know his name because he didn't tell me and I didn't ask. Because I've done business with a Raj and my husband works with a Raj, I'll just refer to my caller by that name (it's a nice name).

So Raj says, "Hello, I would like to speak to [unintelligible name that might possibly have been Chloë]".

Me: Nope, sorry. Nobody here by that name.
Raj: Oh, well, uh, is this [rattles off a number].
Me: [pause] Actually, I'm not sure. We've only had this phone for a couple of weeks and I haven't memorised the number. (This, by the way, is absolutely true. I wasn't just yanking his chain.)
Raj: Uh, well, I can speak to you... this is your number, right?
Me: Wait. Hang on. WHO did you want to speak to?
Raj: The person whose number this is. The householder...
Me: No. I don't want to talk to you.
Raj: Why not?! (Obviously now, he's off of his routine and totally rattled. He was practically sputtering at this point.) But it's about your number!
Me: Nope, sorry. Please stop calling.

And then I hung up the phone, but as I was putting it back, I could hear Raj's voice, filled with shock and confusion, as he tried to convince me that I should talk to him about my "number"... It's amazing the things that will make me smile.