I've got an appointment on Monday morning with the doctor. I'm totally exhausted lately. I frequently go back to bed after I take Miranda to school, and then I sleep right through when lunch would be and get up only just before it's time to go get her. Bleah.

I'm pretty sure my gallbladder is acting up. Years ago, I had some problems with it, and it cleared up on its own (I didn't have any stones), but now it appears to be back. Lots of nausea, unseemly belching (yuck), pain, etc., all fitting in with gallbladder disease symptoms. I'm not sure there's even a treatment for it, though... I know there's treatment for gallstones, but I'm not sure if there's treatment for the general malfunctioning of the gallbladder.

So I'm pretty sure the exhaustion is related to that, and I expect to have to get an ultrasound (last time I had one on my gallbladder it was excruciatingly painful, believe it or not) and probably some blood tests. Maybe there is treatment...

1. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

2. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

3. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.

4. The most important things in your home are the people.

5. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

6. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.

7. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

8. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. Life is not about toys, but about what we do for others.

9. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.

10. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.

11. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

12. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

An exercise in morphing, this video shows the faces of women painted by famous artists over a span of 500 years. Artists range from DaVinci, Raphael, and Botticelli, to Dali and Picasso.

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more.. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, " I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them, and they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

Thus did Adam and Eve learned humility, and they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't care way or the other.

Yes, it's my birthday. I'm 43 today. I liked 42 better because 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but it's okay. I was hoping that after being 42 I would know the question to the answer of life, the universe, and everything, but I don't. Perhaps this year.

Andrew gave me... okay, the little girls gave me, but Andrew chose and bought, The Goblins of the Labyrinth, which is all of the concept illustrations for the film Labyrinth, and includes commentary by Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame, but he wrote Labyrinth). I love Brian Froud's work, I love Labyrinth, I love Terry Jones, and I love glossy coffee table art books, so it's all good.

And, of course, yesteray, we went out to see The Pirates of Penzance, which was a birthday treat.

This afternoon we'll go out and pick up a cake and then tonight we're having takeaway, probably Chinese (and hopefully something with prawns; it is my birthday, after all).

So there you go, a look into my terribly exciting life. Woo.

We went to see The Pirates of Penzance today. Good production, very clever set design and lovely, subtle lighting. Good show. If you get the chance to see it, I certainly recommend doing so.

Well, lately I've been working quite intensely on matters spiritual and otherworldly. Generally speaking, I don't blog about stuff like that here. I touch on it now and then, but my actual spiritual adventures I mostly keep to myself. I am making what appears to be extraordinary progress in some areas, though...

It's taking up a lot of my time and attention, and I'm therefore not blogging that much. I am, however, writing in a private offline journal. Perhaps one day I might "come out of the closet" and share some of the things I've learned and seen and understood. Perhaps not. I'm pretty eclectic and quite unconventional, and I have a strong mystic calling (as in "Christian mystic", not as in "tarot card reader" or something like that, although this should not be construed as me putting down tarot card readers).

So that's where I've been and what I've been up to. It's actually quite intense at the moment and very deep, and a little bit scary sometimes, but it's also exhilirating in a way that defies words. If I can just keep myself centred and stay away from cycles of unproductive negativity and keep my eye on the light, I think I just might end up doing and being something extraordinary...

This new series looks at contemporary American culture through the austere lens of statistics. Each image portrays a specific quantity of something: fifteen million sheets of office paper (five minutes of paper use); 106,000 aluminum cans (thirty seconds of can consumption) and so on. My hope is that images representing these quantities might have a different effect than the raw numbers alone, such as we find daily in articles and books. Statistics can feel abstract and anesthetizing, making it difficult to connect with and make meaning of 3.6 million SUV sales in one year, for example, or 2.3 million Americans in prison, or 426,000 cell phones retired every day. This project visually examines these vast and bizarre measures of our society, in large intricately detailed prints assembled from thousands of smaller photographs.

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what coulf be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs...phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you kon't know them. "I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks dow the drive. I think deep down I just didn;t want to know the truth, but last night she went out and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my BMW R1150 GS motor cycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, I noticed the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

I found the website of Rocky the Mustang really entertaining. Okay, yes, so I made a homepage for my cat, so maybe I'm a little biased, but how many horses have you seen that post their resumé on the net, hmmm? Definitely worth a look, and probably good for a giggle or three. Go, Rocky!

As a monopoly, and as individuals, we value integrity, honesty, openness, personal excellence, constructive self-criticism, continual self-improvement, and mutual respect. We are committed to our customers and partners and have a passion for technology.
 
We take on big challenges such as anti-trust lawsuits, and pride ourselves on seeing them through successfully. We hold ourselves accountable to all our customers, shareholders, partners, and employees by honoring our commitments, providing results, and striving for the highest quality.

(okay, so I've got a weird sense of humour!)

Well, my crash and burn insanity seems to have passed. I've come to some significant new understandings about a variety of things, including a few highly unusual and esoteric spiritual things that I'd never understood previously. I have also aquired a patron saint quite unexpectedly (especially consider that I'm not even remotely Catholic), and have become reacquainted with a beloved childhood friend.

I suspect I sound more insane than I was before, but actually, although I still feel emotionally and spiritually tired and weak, I am actually feeling better, and not insane.

And just for the record, I'm not evil incarnate, and those of you who think everything on the planet and in your life is my fault, I just suggest you examine your own heart and leave mine alone. The only judgement I have to accept is God's. Thanks.

And by the way, I forgive you, and I forgive myself. Go in peace.

Very bad emotional fall. Things I meant to do and tried to do with good intentions went down the toilet. Right at the moment, I wish I was dead, and I mean that QUITE sincerely. All my hard work trying to be positive, trying to keep focus, all for naught. I hate myself and I wish I'd never been born, and other people are happy and pleased with the outcome (heard that directly). Hooray. Maybe I really am evil incarnate.

I've just had this HUGE crash and burn, and I didn't even see it coming. I couldn't stop it. It just snuck up on me and the next thing I knew, bam, bottom of the pit, hating myself and cursing the day I was born.

This is what I get for trying to improve myself and my life. The higher you climb, the farther you fall.

It's come to my attention that someone is implicating me in some sort of backstabbing gossip sh*t-stirring campaign or something. I don't know the details. I don't bloody want to, either. I have zero time and energy for this kind of bullsh*t. It's like high school, and I HATED high school.

So, this is to the person who's instigating this crap:

Mate, get over yourself. I couldn't care less about you and your headgames. I couldn't care less about this childish bullsh*t, and you do know it's bullsh*t, I'm sure. Even you, as petty and mean-spirited as you obviously are, can't fail to appreciate that getting me involved in some sort of crap like this is petty and mean-spirited. Get a grip. You've managed to piss me off momentarily, but when I'm done being pissed off (which is likely right after I finish this blog entry and publish it), I'm going to just think you're a pathetic loser and go about my life, which, by the way, is pretty much an open book, so I don't know how anyone can think I'm secretive or sneaky in any way whatsoever. I'm totally up front with my motives and my actions. That should be obvious to anyone who bothers to take a look or who has talked to me for more than five minutes.

Okay. Enough. I've got nothing to do with this latest tempest in a teacup, and I'll be damned if I'm going to drink it down. As for you, I suggest you sit down with a nice, hot, cup of STFU, and if you don't know what that is, just Google it.

Done now. Going back to my happy life. You were only a blip on my screen. Bye.

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends. Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."

Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed. I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian!"

I've taken up Tai Chi. I'm only just starting, so I'm not doing a lot yet. So far I'm just up to the concepts of postioning and centering your weight and balance. One of the things you need to learn to do is a new style of walking, where you're kind of transferring the centre of gravity from one leg to the other, without the usual "fall forward until you catch yourself with a foot" kind of thing. It's an interesting concept, and I definitely get it, and can do it, but I have to concentrate on doing it, or I fall into old habits. I was practicing while taking Miranda to school today. It's just a slight shift in perception and balance, and it seems to put a bit less strain on the lower back (which is a good thing), and no more strain on the knees (also a good thing).

It actually reminds me a bit of when I was doing ballet (yes, I did ballet, and yes, it was a very long time ago), something about the position of the lower back or the centering of weight in the hips, I can't quite place it.

Anyway, for a while I'm just going to practice the walking and get that to where it's natural and normal for me, and then I'll move on to a few of the moves. The first one is "The Bow" which is easy enough to do, though I don't know how deeply I can actually bow at this point in my life...

So, walking five days a week, swimming fairly regularly (I try to go weekly, but don't always accomplish that), now Tai Chi. Maybe one of these days I'll find the motivation to get on my air walker (I actually really like the thing, but it's SO BORING!).

I feel joyful today. No particular reason. I don't need to have a reason to be happy, do I? No, of course not. I'm just feeling joyful and grateful and happy, and it feels amazing. So many years and I never really felt anything like lasting joy and peace, and now I have these days when I just feel totally joyful for no particular reason. Sometimes it lasts all day, sometimes just a few hours, but it's incredible no matter what. Bliss, I think the term might be.

May you be filled with loving kindness, may you be well, may you be peaceful and at ease, and may you be happy.

(be sure to watch it ALL the way through; the most amazing bit is at the end!)

Wow, who's that reasonably attractive looking bloke? Well, it's actually me, with the picture manipulated through The Perception Laboratory's Face Transformer. It's a fun little free online tool, give it a go!

When you've just made it sound like the Queen is more than 200 years old, there may be a few ways of recovering from the gaffe. But turning to her and giving her a sly wink is probably not included in any book of royal etiquette.

I got an unexpected visitor today. A magpie! I noticed it was on the barbeque on the deck, just outside the window, and I thought that was odd. When I looked again, it had moved, but was still there, staring in a window. I thought perhaps it was looking at its own reflection. Next time I looked, it was looking in a different window (the deck is surrounded on three sides by house, and all the walls have big windows in them). Finally I thought, "What the heck," and went outside with a crust of bread (yes, I know, it's not the healthiest food for birds, but it's what I had on hand).

The bird actually took food right from my fingers! I sat down outside and talked to the bird for a while, and then went and retrieved a block of birdseed we've had hanging in a small tree for ages, which no birds ever discovered, apparently. I put the block down and stepped back and the magpie decided it was worth pecking at. Then the bird went and had a drink of water from the dishes under the potted plants so I moved the seed block there, in a convienient place for the bird to eat it.

The magpie is still on the deck, but it's a bit more wary of me now. It's had something to eat so it's not quite as bold as it was earlier.

My in-laws tell me that it'll probably keep coming back looking for handouts now that I've fed it. Apparently, one of my mother-in-law's aunties has a magpie friend who comes right into her kitchen and "talks" to her, and comes back every year with its mate and their offspring!

Thankfully, magpies are big birds, and they can be quite fierce, so I'm not worried about cats. A magpie is more than a match for a household cat.

So, I guess we'll see if I've made a new friend or if it was a one time thing.

(click for full-size image)

I haven't done a "Life is Good" entry for a long time. It's not because life isn't good, it's just that I forget to comment on it sometimes. Well, today I'm in a very mellow, joyful mood for no particular reason, and I'm really enjoying it. And then, someone on a forum I like to hang around challenged us to share some of our favourite childhood memories. So here are some I'll share:

Going for day trips all over Arizona, hunting for rocks/gems in the canyons and desert, seeing all the gorgeous scenery, taking a picnic lunch, and nobody was fighting.

Climbing up a tree with several books and making myself comfortable in the branches and just sitting up there for hours, reading and enjoying the comfort of the tree all around me.

The smell of tar and eucalyptus on those blazing hot days we used to get in Tucson.

Visiting my grandmother for the weekend, and having her read to me. She read me the entire "Anne of Green Gables" series (seven books, I think, in total), and "Little Women", plus the sequel, "Little Men", and a few other books (but "Little Women" and Anne stand out the most).

Swimming for hours and hours by myself, and not realising at the time how terribly irresponsible it was of my mother not to supervise me (I did nearly drown once, in fact, but never told her about it).

Playing rummy with my grandmother, who beat me almost all the time (she was really good at that card game!).

Going to Luna Park on Coney Island, that classic amusement part, eating Nathan's Hot Dogs, and going on one of the world's best rollercoasters, "The Cyclone", with the man who I thought of as my grandfather (he was actually my grandmother's husband and no relation to me at all, but he loved me and I loved him, so it was all good).

Well, His Holiness the Dalai Lama is coming to Melbourne in June. I'm actually reasonably interested in going to see him. He's doing seminars and will be issuing a special blessing, which is described as:

As part of this four session series, the Dalai Lama will bestow the Manjushri Blessing. This blessing confers wisdom that empowers people, making it possible for them to achieve the joy of freedom from suffering, which is the goal of all living beings.

By receiving his empowerment and reciting the Manjushri Mantra, an individual is believed to become more intelligent, enjoy greater happiness, with improved memory and increased wisdom.

That sounds pretty good to me, actually...

If I could get someone to take Miranda to school on a Friday and to pick her up from school on a Monday, I could even go to all the sessions/seminars, which are at the Rod Laver Arena (easy train access).

The tickets, however, are on the expensive side. I believe it would be worth it, but I'm trying to decide if I want to spend several hundred dollars on them. I'll have to meditate on it. I'm serious about that, by the way, I really do meditate. Oh, and I'm not planning on becoming a Buddhist. After all, "The Dalai Lama teaches practical life skills for people who are willing to consider embracing his philosophy without necessarily becoming Buddhist."