Happy Birthday, and I hope you have a wonderful one.

Well, I got a letter today from The Hon. Gary Hardgrave, MP, Minister for Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs, Parliament House, Canberra (Canberra, for those not familiar with Australia's cities, is the nation's capital.)

Apparently, The Hon. Gary Hardgrave is pleased to tell me that my application for the grant of Australian citizenship has been approved. Among othe things, he congratulated me on my decision to become an Australian citizen, and he welcomed me on behalf of the Government and all Australians (so the next time some Australian is rude to me, I'll just tell them that The Hon. Gary Hardgrave spoke on their behalf and they're supposed to be welcoming, dammit!).

There was more in the letter, including making it clear that I'm not legally a citizen until I take the oath of citizenship, and that has yet to be arranged.

This, of course, is all very nice, and was quicker than I expected. I went for the interview on Tuesday, got the letter on Friday. And considering that the letter had to come from Canberra, that makes it even more impressive. I didn't know government offices could do ANYthing that quickly.

There is one distressing bit. I'm hoping that this is just a typo on the part of the office of The Hon. Gary Hardgrave. I know for sure that all my official paperwork, the photocopies of my drivers' license and the papers I had to file, etc., all have my name spelled correctly. The letter from The Hon. Gary Hardgrave, however, greets me as Ms. Bonnie Elizabeth Hall. I don't know anyone of that name, and there's certainly no one of that name living here, so I presume they mean me, but errr, there's one too many vowels in there...

Monday, I'll call the Immigration office and check to make sure that they do, indeed, have my name spelled correctly, and that they'll have it spelled correctly on the forms for my citizenship. I think it should be all right, and normally I don't make a fuss when someone spells my name wrong (I'm used to it), but on official paperwork, I think it's important to get it right. As Shakespeare wrote and I'm about to paraphrase, happy is she whose name is well spelt.

These have already been added to the random quote generator thingy. One of these days I'll get Andrew to write me a little script that will spew out the quotes all in one big page so people can read them all in one go if they want to. It is a 25Kb text file, though, so it's an awful lot of quotes.

Anyway, both of these are by Picasso, an artist whose work I appreciate but don't really like all that much for various reasons (yes, it's possible to appreciate things you don't like, and if you don't believe that, just go study art for a few years and you'll eventually be able to do it because theyll drill it into your head, heh).

"Every child is an artist, the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." - Pablo Picasso

"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso." - Pablo Picasso

My brother-in-law works for lawyers (he's a geek, the IT Manager, not a laywer). He rarely emails me from his work address, but now and then it comes up. Attached to all outgoing email sent by the law firm (whose name I won't mention, but if you REALLY want to know, you could always visit Greg's homepage and find out), is the following notice (slightly edited for the privacy of the firm and legal reasons, hehe):

This e-mail is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information which is confidential and privileged. If you have received this e-mail in error, you are hereby notified that any distribution or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify us immediately by return e-mail or on [phone number deleted for pivacy] and destroy the original e-mail. Thank you.

Only lawyers could come up with that disclaimer, you know? I don't think I'm in violation of their disclaimer, though. I didn't repost the actual email (which wasn't at all sensitive, confidential, or privileged, although of course, it's always a privilege to get email from Greg -- I put that in in case he ever actually reads this). Gee, I hope they don't sue me for distributing their disclaimer...

When I commented on the humorous quality of the disclaimer, Greg, the dear man, thought that since I found theirs so funny, I would find the one from another lawfirm (whose name I will also omit) even MORE hilarious, and I did. I literally laughed out loud over this one:

IMPORTANT NOTICE - PLEASE READ

This communication is confidential and may be legally privileged and/or contain copyright material. If you are not the intended recipient of this email, any use, forwarding, printing or reproduction of it or any attachment, is prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, immediately contact us by return mail or by calling [phone number deleted] and then irretrievably delete it and any attachments.

We will preserve the contents of any email message that you send us if we believe that we have a legal obligation to do so and we will otherwise comply with the provisions of the Privacy Act 1988 to the extent that it applies. Email sent from or to us may be monitored for the purposes of quality control, systems administration and legal compliance.

You should check for viruses or other harmful components before opening or using any attachments to this email. Our liability is limited to resupplying any affected attachments and if applicable, by the Solicitors Scheme under the Professional Standards Act 1994 (NSW).

Missycat has a new trick. She's figured out how to climb up onto the roof. She learned this by watching the other cat (that cat being Miffy, my in-laws cat, who we're looking after while the in-laws are living overseas). Mind you, Missycat and Miffy don't like each other, but they do watch each other and learn new things that way.

Anyway, Missycat can get up on the roof, but she can't get down. Why she doesn't come down the way she gets up (which is by climbing up a particular tree), I don't know. But the silly cat gets up there and then can't get down, so she sits on the roof just outside the kitchen window and meows until someone comes and rescues her, which we have to do by climbing up on something, usually one of the chairs on the deck, and lifting her down.

She did this a couple of times and finally I thought I'd teach her a lesson, which is, "Don't go up if you can't get down." I left her up there overnight, even though I knew perfectly well she wanted to come in. It's not very nice, I know, but it wasn't raining or anything (I wouldn't leave any cat on a roof in the rain!), and I figured maybe she'd get it into her little kitty head that going onto the roof wasn't a good idea.

All was well at first. She stayed inside for a couple of days. Didn't ask to go out at all (she has a litter tray inside, so she doesn't really need to go out). Finally, she did go out for a bit of a stroll and a snoop and I figured she'd be smart enough to keep her paws on the ground.

Nope. I was wrong. Tonight I went into the kitchen to get a drink and I heard the meowing outside. I thought she just wanted to come in. I opened the door but no cat. Peered out into the darkness and a couple of gold eyes flash at me from the edge of the roof, just above the rain gutter. Yup. Had to go out and stand on chair and get the silly thing down again.

My cat just turned ten years old, I'll have you know. She's middle-aged, as cats go. Why on earth a middle aged lady like that wants to creep around on a tile roof I honestly can't imagine. Particularly since she has to yell for someone to come and get her down!

Well, I went to have my interview today. It was pretty straightforward. I should get a letter in about two weeks telling me my application has been approved, and then in a few months, when there's a ceremony in my area, I'll be contacted about going to that for my swearing in as a citizen.

And then I have the obligation to register to vote, I have to serve on a jury if I'm called to do so, I have to obey Australia's laws (like I don't do that now), and I have to defend Australia if the need arises (so I guess when I hear idiots on the net saying bad things about Australia I'm supposed to step in...?). Those are my responsibilities, which I had to recite at the interview.

But I'll also get the right to join the Australian military (yeah, right) or get a government job that requires Australian citizenship, I can get an Australian passport, I can vote, I can run for public office, I can request assistance from an Australian embassy if I'm overseas, and I can register a child born overseas as an Australian citizen.

Those things, by the way, are my Responsibilities and Rights as an Australian Citizen, which I had to recite at the interview. They did give me a few minutes to review the list, of course, and I'm pretty good at memorizing this sort of thing.

Oh, and apparently, 17 September is Citizenship Day. Perhaps that's when I'll be able to become naturalized (dunno if there's enough time, but perhaps).

So there you go. In a few weeks or a couple of months or so, I'll be a fair dinkum Aussie. I think that probably feels about the same as being an expatriate American who lives as a Permanent Resident, except for the voting and running for office and all that.

This political cartoon speaks for itself, I think.

Oh, and no, I haven't stopped paying attention to the stuff going on in Iraq and the stuff going on in Washington. I just got to a point where I felt saturated with it, and being the basically not-very-political person that I am, I had to take a breather. I did hear the latest allegation that the White House put pressure on the EPA to make false and misleading statments. I keep wondering how many more lies the American people are going to excuse or explain away...

Next week, I'm going to go to have the required interview I have to have before they can proceed with my citizenship application. No idea what they'll ask. Presumably, they just want to see me in person, make sure I'm alive and really who I say I am, make sure I'm still living in Australia, etc. The interview for the Permanent Residency was pretty low-key, so I excpect this will be, as well.

And then, in a few weeks or whenever they get the paperwork filed, I get to come in, swear an oath, and, hey, presto cadabra, I'm an Australian.

Anyway, I'm not excited about it yet, other than I'm happy to have the opportunity to go into the city. We don't go much any more. No, let me rephrase. Andrew goes to the city every day of the work week. The kids and I mostly stay out here in the suburbs, shuffling around shopping centers and eating lunch in food courts and buying things at Target. Not that you can't do that in the city, as well, of course, but it's a suburban thing. All I need is one of those awful SUVs to terrorize the parking lots with and I'll be all set.

Oh, dear. I seem to have gone off on a tangent. I started on one topic/story and ended on something completely different. I think I must watch The Simpsons too much.

This is fun. Do a Google search for a cup in litres. Then, try the answer to life the universe and everything in binary, or c in furlongs per fortnight.

Unfortunately it doesn't do certain metric measures. It can do litres, but not metric cups and metric teaspoons. Perhaps it'll be upgraded at some point to include that stuff. In the meantime, I've always wanted to know how many pounds there are in a stone. And how many (kilo)calories are in a kiloJoule. And how many fathoms are in a kilometre.

Gee, you could waste a LOT of time with this...

Update: Suzanne noted that you get a metric conversion for a teaspoon in mililitres. You still can't use terms like "metric cup" but so long as you know there are 250ml in a metric cup....

US Attorney General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After the typical civics presentation to the class, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me questions now."

A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?

2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?

3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground.

Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and again. Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."

A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?

2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?

3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?

4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?

5. Where's Bobby?

I'm feeling very frazzled lately. Lots of stresses from various sources. I've had to cut back on stuff I normally do because I just can't cope with all of it efficiently. I'm still pushing pixels (it's excellent recreation for me), and I'm still active in a couple of forums, but mostly I'm just lying low. I've missed deadlines, I've lagged behind in several projects, it's just all kinda slipping out of my control for the moment.

Doesn't help that it's winter. Oh, where, oh where is spring? Equinox, where are you? I need the long days back to help ease this damned Seasonal Affective Disorder...

Anyway. If you see me doing anything particularly dumbass lately, well, this is why. Too much stress over too long a period (mostly worrying about Zoë) and the shortened days. Potent combination. Yuck.

A federal jury in Chicago awarded the University of California and a browser technology company $520.6 million after finding on Monday that their patents were infringed by Microsoft Corp.

Well, I think it's good news, anyway. I tend to think of Microsoft as "The Evil Empire". Any triumph against them pleases me.

And I have to admit, I'm dubious about software patents, not because I don't think software should be able to be patented, but because the people issuing the patents only very rarely have any clue what the hell the application is about or what the technology is, but in this case, I'm glad to see it come to good use.

Now pardon me while I indulge in an evil cackle.

Bwahahahahahahahahhhh!!!!!!

Okay. Better now.

Well, according to the quiz I just took, I could spot Hannibal Lector in seconds at an Open Source conference (that's good to know). I got 9/10, and I thought that one of the serial killers was a programming language inventor (given some of the weird computer geeks I've known, can you blame me?). Take the quiz yourself if you're curious but two warnings: First, you need flash. Second, some of the descriptions are rather unsavoury, although not really graphic or anything. If you're particularly sensitive to stuff about serial killers and what they did to their victims, well, don't do the quiz or you'll probably get pretty grossed out.

Today I got rather rudely insulted via email. An apology for an error on my part is NOT ENOUGH, I'll have you know. Oh, no. I deserved a tongue lashing with a big dose of gult trip because I screwed up one of the ten thousand other things I did in the past week (well, okay, I screwed up more than that, but only one affected this person, so obviously that's the only one that counts).

I'm not going to post the actual email. Suffice it to say the writer was very rude and taking things way, WAY too seriously. Some people just need to get over themselves and get a better fix on their own importance in the overall scheme of things. Oh, and learning how to accept an apology and/or realize that human beings do make the occasional mistake, and that it's usually better to try to fix the problem than to act like the world is coming to an end and throw a verbal temper tantrum. That sort of behavior doesn't earn you any respect or get you any kind of solution.

It just pisses people off.

Well, I submitted my application for Australian citizenship. You can do it online now, very convienient. Three things bugged me, though.

First, the website is full of "click here" statements, and that really annoys me. Why can't they make the actual WORDS the link? You know, so you know what you're "clicking here" for?! When you skim a page looking for something your eye catches on all these "click here" things and NOT on the actual content. Grrrr.

Secondly, they do that HORRID thing where they force your browser to full size. People, there's a REASON I don't keep my browser at full size! Have you ever SEEN a web page at 1200x1600 resolution?! Why don't you let ME decide how big I need my browser to be, since YOU don't know how big my monitor is or what my screen resolution is?

Finally, the pop-up that was supposed to show you where to look on your Permanent Resident Visa to get the visa number wasn't resizable and had no scrollbars of any sort, but it wasn't big enough for me to see all of the explanations that went with the arrows on the diagram. Why do people make popups for illustrations that can't be resized? Hello!

Anyway, the application is all lodged now, and complaining about the website won't affect it one way or the other. You can't get denied citizenship for hating "click here" statements or anything. (Good thing, too.)

I've read that it normally takes only a few weeks to process an application for citizenship if you're an eligible Permanent Resident. Cool, eh?

The Single Bitter Announcement Weblog

Don't you just love it when a young, arrogant, ignorant straight male tries to tell a woman who has been sexually active since 1978 what "most men" like and want in a woman?

“Baboons and chimpanzees can use computers, do software testing, and even program,” explained Dr. McAuliffe. But they had some problems handling simple menu navigation.

The Pentagon will abandon a plan to establish a futures market to help predict terrorist strikes, the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee said today.
 
Senator John Warner said he spoke by phone with the program's director "and we mutually agreed that this thing should be stopped".

One of the first things that attracted me to Andrew was his mind. I love intelligent people (which is no surprise, considering my almost pathological dislike of stupid people). When we met, he commented on a Usenet newsgroup where he posted, and I went by to check it out and found him in the midst of a very intelligent debate on matters theological which I found most impressive.

I've known him for more than eight years now, and I still appreciate his intelligence, but I hadn't really seen him "in action" for a long time.

Recently, I had the opportunity to watch him in a debate with someone on some pretty hot topics, and I gotta tell you, I was just blown away by Andrew's calm rationality and very intelligent points of debate. Wow. What a man.

I dunno, is it weird to be attracted to a man for his debate style? I don't think it's that uncommon to think that smart equals sexy, but maybe it is. All I know for sure is that as far as I'm concerned, the sexiest thing a man can have is intelligence, and Andrew's got that in abundance. That he's also quite funny is doubly appealing. Mmmmm. Smart and funny, how sexy is that?!

I can guess what he'll say when he reads this. First, he'll say, "Awwwww." Then he'll say, "You've got it BAD."

My back hurts (bitch bitch bitch whine). Miranda was beastly last night and insisted on sleeping with us. Normally, she has a cuddle and a feed and falls asleep and then I put her in her own bed and she spends the night there, but last night she was very discontent and became outraged when I put her in her own bed. So that all parties concerned could get some sleep, I pulled her into bed with us. She still shrieked for a while (just so her feelings were clear on the subject) and eventually went to sleep, but not without a lot of kicking, tossing, and turning first.

And today my back hurts. A lot. Very stiff, probably from being in a cramped position in a cold room for a long time. Two fat adults and a growing toddler in one double bed make for a pretty uncomfortable arrangement, particularly when the toddler is squirming, kicking, and turning sideways on the bed at every opportunity...

This article speaks for itself, I think...

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Attribution: This was originally posted at K5 by someone who goes by the nick of "Dirty Sanchez". Never let it be said I don't credit my sources whenever possible.

It has come to my attention through completely clean and legitimate means that my husband bears some noticible resemblence to the porn star, Ron Jeremy (that link is fairly clean, by the way).

A description I found in an article by The Age describes him thusly: "Short, hairy and very overweight, he's nicknamed 'the Hedgehog' and looks about as unlikely a porn star as the uninitiated could imagine."

Well, gee, short, hairy, quite chubby, and looking as unlike a porn star as most people could imagine pretty much describes Andrew, too.

For some reason, I find it extremely amusing that Andrew resembles Ron Jeremy. It's probably just my twisted sense of humor at work.

I can't wait to hear Andrew's reaction to this tidbit of information. I can only imagine what sort of witty quip he'll come out with.