There are old folk tales about fairies coming and taking away a baby or small child and replacing it with a fairy child, a changeling. You could tell the baby was a changeling by its odd look, it's strange habits, etc. Changeling children weren't necessarily always bad, but to the superstitious people of the Middle Ages, they weren't good.

It seems I've got a fairy child, but I'm taking it a lot better than my Medieval ancestors would have, and I'm in a far, far better position to help her fit into the world around her. I've always known that Zoë is eccentric and quirky, but in the past few months it's become clearer and clearer that she's more than just eccentric.

We took her to a specialist pediatrician today (she's already had an initial assessment from an early childhood specialist and she's in speech therapy) and, barring anything rare like brain seizures, it seems that Zoë is an autism spectrum child. I don't care much for the term "autistic" because people immediately think "Rainman", but she's not anywhere near that level of impairment. She can't talk much, and can't process language well, and she's got some behavioral and developmental issues (mostly, I believe, related to the inability to communicate), but she's bright, very cute, generally affectionate and sweet, and she loves to listen to music, dance, and sing. She's got some hurdles, and yes, she's got a real handicap, but, well, lots of people have handicaps of one sort or another. Zoë's just "off with the fairies" some of the time is all. We just need to get her the right kinds of therapy to teach her how to interact in the moral world.

I got the "fairy" idea from two sources. First, a lady at church described Zoë as "floating around like a little fairy." Secondly, more than one autistic has described themselves as feeling like "aliens". Since I happen to think that alien stories are the modern incarnation of fairy stories (and fairies were not always nice, sweet, and pretty, although they could be very beautiful and alluring), the idea of Zoë being a fairy changeling just sort of struck me. It's a whimsical way to describe her, I think, and it suits her personality. She is like a little mischievious fairy a lot of the time.

I don't mind raising a fairy child. I was an oddball child, and I never felt like I belonged (still don't, a lot of the time), so I can certainly sympathise with how Zoë must feel. If I couldn't communicate or understand anything people were saying to me, I'd probably have tantrums, too. I know how frustrated I get when there's a breakdown in communication I can't overcome, so I can only imagine how hard it must be when you're three. All the things I've read that were written by autistics about how they feel just makes me full of compassion. I'm not worried about the label of "autism" at all. It's just a label, and so long as she gets the therapy she needs to help her learn to cope with her difficulties and help her develop into someone who can live in and navigate this world, it's fine with me.

It's interesting to note that here in Australia they don't generally give a strict diagnosis. They just say "autism spectrum" (and it is a very broad spectrum, with lots of variation; Zoë is mild to moderate, and only has impairment in a few specific areas rather than across the board) and leave it at that.

If you want to read more about my fairy child and her adventures at the pediatrician's office (along with a bunch of autism-related links), visit her journal and read the entry I made today.