I've been playing with this illusion. I actually had to download the image and sample the squares to see (they are, indeed the same). I called Andrew over to look and he suggested I paint between the squares with a third color and when I did that, lo and behold, you can see with the naked eye that the squares pointed out in the illusion are the same color.

Don't worry, though. There's an explanation of how it works and why.

We went into the city today. I absolutely love the city of Melbourne, and now that we live in the suburbs (way out in the suburbs; just up the road from us you can see horses grazing in a paddock), I don't get to see the city nearly as much as I'd like to. I missed it. It was wonderful to be there today.

We went to the Melbourne Museum to see a particular show there. We didn't end up seeing it, because the queue to buy the tickets was half an hour and the queue to get into the actual exhibit was another hour. We ended up buying the tickets and we'll go back next weekend.

I must say, I was quite impressed with the design of the museum. Next week, I'll have my camera back and I'll take some snapshots of the interior. Suffice it to say, it's exceedingly clever and very post-modern, combining lots of metal and glass in interesting ways that interact with nature and the sky. Yes, really.

Anyway, we got out and had a nice bit of a walk from where we parked (we decided not to use the museum's parking lot, which is right under the museum, and instead parked on the street a couple blocks away).

The museum is right next to the only remaining Victorian era exhibition building in the world (the contrast between Victoriana and Post-Modern is pretty interesting, too, I might add).

When we go next week, I'll bring the camera and get some pictures of the park, the streetscape, the museum, etc.

You know how most people retire to the country? I think Andrew and I will retire to the heart of the city...

I told you once that you would always be in my heart, and it's true. I know you probably don't care, and in your arrogance you have probably concocted a big semi-fictional account of what happened and cast me as the heartless one, the one who rejected you, the one who turned her back. I wish I could have held on, but you thrashed around so much and hurt me so deeply I had no choice but to let go. It was like trying to hold onto a pissed off, partially wild cat. I can only take just so many bites and clawmarks before I do, indeed, let go.

But you're still with me. Much as I might like to let go, you're still with me. Not that I think you care, because I've seen your pattern of discarding people who no longer suit your plans and needs, or who have fallen from your grace. I wish, in some part of myself, that you had some tiny shred of regret, that you saw something good in me, that my many imperfections hadn't overshadowed the good that I know is in my heart. I wish you had some regrets about the whole thing, but I also doubt that. You move on, casting people aside and away. I know that. I accept it. But it's a painful truth.

And despite all of it, I still think about you, still wonder about you, still miss you, and still struggle to heal the bites and scratches.

I just wanted to say it. I don't think you'll ever read this, and if you do, you won't know it's you I'm talking about (unless your vanity steps in, like that Carly Simon song). There are a lot of people who fit this profile, a lot of people I could be describing. And, you never know, it might be several people, all woven into one semi-fictional image that I can address this way...

Anyway. It's good to get it off my chest. Now maybe the wounds I've opened up will be able to heal, once I'm done bleeding...

Palin's Travels is now online.

Andrew met Michael Palin once. Michael was at a book signing and Andrew went to get a book signed and in the process, Andrew actually spoke to Michael. It went like this:

Andrew: How can I get a television network to send me on an all-expenses-paid trip around the world?

Michael: First become a famous comedian with a hit show...

I think that sums it right up, don't you?

I recently came across a webring that was described as being for pages that "display home town values". Uhm, okayyy...

For Melbourne, I guess that would mean you should have a page about multi-culturalism, riding on trams, drinking cappucino, and going to cricket matches.

One has to wonder what would happen if you're from, say, Sodom (or Gomorrah).

Since I tend to be negative (I try not to be, but it seems to be my nature) and since I use this blog as a means of bitching, complaining, and ranting, it has occurred to me that I should probably show my cheerful side more often here. I promise, I really am generally contented (even happy), usually in reasonably good humor, and while I do get irritated fairly easily, I also am delighted fairly easily, I am easily amused, and I'm deeply thankful for an awful lot in my life.

So with that in mind, I thought I'd make a new category for "Life is Good" reflections, and I'll try to add something regularly (no set schedule or anything, though).

I have these (and many more) good things in my life:

I have a happy marriage. It's not just that I love my husband. Our marriage is actually good. Strong, flexible, healthy. The relationship is great.

I have gorgeous, intelligent children.

I have good physical health, although I really need to do more exercise and lose some weight (for my personal comfort, not because I'm worried that other people have a right to tell me how big my butt can or can't be).

I have pretty good mental health. As this has not always been the case, I greatly appreicate having more or less stable moods (we're talking wild mood swings here, not my occaisonal fits of annoyance or giggles or whatever). I'm extremely happy that I get post traumatic flashbacks only rarely, and they're always triggered by something specific that I can identify and work on healing. A panic attack or flashback these days means I need to deal with something internal and take better care of myself, and I know how to do that now. It's good.

I have a fabulous best friend. How I managed to find her in this big, wide world is still pretty amazing to me.

I have a cool job, and I'm damned good at it.

I have my own 24/7 Unix server, an internet geek's dream come true...

I have an active, sharp, constant sense of humor and I'm able to find something funny in just about any situation (yes, I do mean "any").

I have a wonderful home in a wonderful city in a wonderful, multi-cultural, interesting country.

I have a car that is stable, comfortable, and not expensive to insure.

I have memberships in some excellent groups and organizations.

I have the time and ability to write a list of Good Things I Have in my Life.

I have a much longer list of good things in my life, but I'll stop now, because I also have other things that I need to be doing...

Read this:

Please do not send us applications or resumés, or try to sell us sub-contracting services. We have as many sub-contractors as we need, and we are not currently hiring any employees or apprentices. Thank you.

That's from the contact page at Alicorna. I put it there because I kept getting spamvertising and applications for employment (the latter of which I can understand, but I thought I'd save them some time as well as myself).

So what did I get early this morning in that form? A cut-and-pasted spamvertisement for some design company in Bangledesh who wanted to form a "business partnership" with Alicorna, i.e., they wanted to sell me their sub-contracting services.

I considered replying to the message but then thought better of it, because I didn't want them to have my email address (which is not posted anywhere on the Alicorna site due to continual abuse of any published address there).

I just wonder, though, what part of "do not send us applications or resumés, or try to sell us sub-contracting services" didn't they understand? Oh, wait, they weren't trying to sell me sub-contracting. They were offering me a "business partnership". Or something.

Some people are just stupid. Even if I were in the market for a sub-contractor, I wouldn't hire stupid people who spam me...

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "Sorry," the bartender answers, "we don't serve food here."

Last night, we watched (most of) the Emmy awards. Boy, it was good to see Conan O'Brien! I used to watch his show faithfully and I haven't seen him since I came to Australia (he might be on some cable channel here, but I don't have cable television, so there you go).

Anyway, Andrew and I were talking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. I said to my husband, "Do you suppose that some days she wakes up and suddenly just blurts, 'My God, I'm married to Brad Pitt!'"? Replied Andrew, "No, I think she probably wakes up and says, 'Oh my God, I'm Jennifer Aniston!'"

This is, basically, an email I sent to Lori, in response to something on which she asked my opinion. I thought it sufficiently amusing that I thought I'd post it.

Lori wrote:

Perhaps you can help me here. I made a remark to a couple of my colleagues earlier today, and they've accused me of being morbid. I disagree. The comment:

"At my funeral, I want them to do the Hokey Pokey."

My response:

Well, let's do this systematically.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "morbid" means:

1.a. Of, relating to, or caused by disease; pathological or diseased. b. Psychologically unhealthy or unwholesome. 2. Characterized by preoccupation with unwholesome thoughts or feelings. 3. Gruesome; grisly.

I think we can disregard 1.a.

I think we can also disregard 2, as I don't think you're preoccupied with unwholesome thoughts, unless funerals and the hokey pokey are unwholesome (the hokey pokey might be, of course).

This leaves "psychologically unhealthy". Well, unless, as mentioned, planning one's own funeral or doing the hokey pokey are psychologically unhealthy, we can throw that out.

This leaves "gruesome, grisly". I agree that the hokey pokey is kinda gruesome, especially when performed by drunks, but I think it doesn't entirely apply.

I think what they PROBABLY mean is that expressing a desire to have the hokey pokey done at one's funeral is socially inappropriate because it's too unconventional.

Then again, I want a Monty Python quote at my funeral. And the quote is: "Well, you're dead now, so shut up!"

Really, though, reminding people of their own mortality is frequently a way to be thought of as socially irresponsible. Let alone showing signs of accepting your own mortality with good humor.

I'm probably the wrong person to ask, actually...

---

And then, I see that she's basically posted the same exchange in her weblog, and when I dropped her an email to say that "Great minds think alike!" she replied, "Yes, and so do ours!"

There you go. I think that pretty much sums it all up.

StrangeReports.com lets you generate prank "news report" pages about the person of your choice. For example: Queen Let Down by Fan.

This article at the New York Times about teachers trying to get kids to stop using text message shorthand in their papers is fascinating reading.

I'm of two minds on it. First, it frightens me that kids can't tell the difference between "later" and "l8r". I'm kinda horrified by the whole thing and I find it bloody hard to read (even though I can and I know what it means; hey, I'm not THAT old).

On the other hand, though, I'm aware that language is, by its very nature, fluid and it transforms itself constantly. Even the English of five hundred years ago (Shakespeare, the King James Bible, etc.) is now difficult to read and understand, and many of the words have completely changed meaning so that the context is either lost or entirely misunderstood by the modern reader. The English of five hundred years before that is barely recognizable as English at all, and certainly not readable or understandable by the modern reader. Even linguistics experts have a hard time working out the meaning/content of some Medieval English.

So, well, yes, I find "text speak" (or txtspk, I guess) pretty damned annoying, and I hope it's just a passing thing that doesn't become incorporated into the language, but there's no point getting my undies all in a bunch over something like the continual evolution of language. (Hey, even regular and consistent spelling is a fairly recent innovation. Until pretty recently, people just spelled things however they wanted at the moment, and that was perfectly normal and perfectly okay.)

So there's my own commentary, other than to note that the line in the article that I found most amusing was this:

"I understand `cuz,' but what's with the `wuz'? It's the same amount of letters as `was,' so what's the point?"

There are parrots and other exotic birds in the trees here. I'm infinitely fascinated by this fact. Flocks of cockatoos (common in the country) absolutely mesmerize me. So do galahs (medium sized, crested, grey birds with a pink belly, technically a type of cockatoo, and quite common). Rainbow lorakeets (which live up to their name by having gorgeous, brilliant, multi-colore plumage) are also fairly common, and there are plenty of other gorgeous parroty birds sitting in the trees right outside the windows.

When I see something like that, I often get very excited (although after the years I've been here I'm somewhat more used to the sight of pink and grey crested birds flocking around the place). I used to blurt out, "Oh, look! Parrots!" Andrew, being as native an Australian as you're likely to get without having convict ancestery (he has gold rush ancestery, which is nearly as good), tends to respond with something along the line of amused boredom.

But think about it. I mean, there are PARROTS right outside my window, sitting in the trees! In the States, you pay hundreds of dollars (or much more) for exotic birds like that and they certainly don't live in the wild. Here in Australia, they're sitting in the trees and are, in some places, so abundant they're pests.

You can imagine why I'm still captivated by the sight of wild parrots. However, to appease my Australian husband, I try not to get too excited about it. When I see some gorgeous bird or flock of birds that I want to comment on, I try to contain my enthusiasm by adopting a bored tone of voice and saying, "Oh. Ho hum. Parrots." This, for some reason, quite amuses my husband...

Is there actually anyone in the universe who is bloody stupid enough to fall for an unsolicited email entitled, "Free Money Secrets Revealed"?

Ever see Legos build a computer? No? Here's your chance!

Chicago is my favorite American city. In fact, it's one of my favorite cities in the world, American or not (it's in the top three, along with London and Melbourne). I lived within reasonable driving distance of Chicago for many years and often went up to the city for a day trip or the occasional weekend. I love the energy of the city, and the attractions, and the history... I could go on, but you get the idea.

Have a look at Andrea's pictures of Chicago, and you'll get some idea why that city appeals to me (although pictures can't do justice to the mood and style and energy of that city, these are some pretty good pictures).

Woman Escapes Lynching Over Alleged Mans Penis Theft.

Most amusing line: "I thank Allah for the help other people rendered to me to get my penis back." Indeed.

Good name for a business, don't you think?

Quiz created by Polly Snodgrass.
 

WATER OF AIR. You're aloof, depressed and seasoned. You'd make a good psychologist, executioner, black widow, arsenic poisoner, heretic queen or commentator. You're too witty for your own good. Have to get up early in the morny morn to fool you, as you spot lies a mile away. And WOE TO THOSE who dare attempt such a stupid move. You're Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, when she cuts Michael's head off. You're Anne Robinson, the host of The Weakest Link!

We went for a ride today and ended up going past a very neatly manicured and terribly tidy little "retirement community".

I said to Andrew, "If a necropolis is a city of the dead and a metropolis is a really big city, what's that?" He, who has studied a fair bit of Greek, replied, "A geriopolis."

Yup. A city of old people. Good word, don't you think?

Web Gallery of Art. Mmmmm... art history... Good stuff here, folks. I particularly like the collection of Rubens works, but then, I particularly like Rubens.

Some idiot spammer tried to send spam out via one of my mailforms. HAH! Moron! All you managed to do was send it to me, and I reported your sorry arse.

In case anyone's at all interested, the mailform I use, which was written by Andrew in 1996 or so, is available for free and it's quite secure. No one can send spam through it (unless they send it to you, which is always annoying but easily dealt with). See the scripts page at Alicorna for more information (note: you must have your own CGI capabilities to use this script, but I'm told it's extremely easy to set up and understand).

I just visited a website that used to be a client site of ours. It's been redone by their new in-house designer. I'm horrified. Their logo is utterly mangled (it's been resized with incorrect proportions!), it's in a gratuitious frameset (i.e., a frameset that exists just for the sake of it and without clear purpose), the color scheme is... uninspired, shall we say? There are some badly scanned photos (and I do mean "badly scanned") on the site, and these are not in any sort of frame, have no edge, nothing, just bad scans slapped on the page. And worst of all, it's got a ton of bad internal links. I'm not talking about links to external sites, I mean that the "designer" actually put in links that go NOWHERE. Links to pages that should be online and part of the site.

The unprofessionalism here astounds me, it really does. The client deserves better. I'm almost nauseated. I really need to stop looking at previous client sites because it frequently upsets me. Not because I think my designs are necessarily so fabulous that they should remain forever, but it upsets me to see a less competent (or incompetent) deisgner take over and trash someone's online presence like that.

This site now looks like it was designed by a complete amateur. Stuff like this really breaks my heart. If the site was at all good, clean, professionally designed, I wouldn't be upset, but... Ugh. That's all.

Masquerading as Amazon.com, it's a new scam to get your credt card number.

See for yourself.

n these times of international tensions, it's nice to know that at least one well-respected news source is still ensuring that the stories that really matter are getting the publicity that they deserve.

I suppose I really ought to investigate the "blogrolling" thingy that everyone's using these days, or get Andrew to write me up a little script to randomize links or, oh, something. But my brain is too taxed at the moment to be bothered with all that, so I just put the two links in the list and you can investigate as you like. But I'll tell you what they are. Veracity or Mendacity and Because I Say So!, both really good reads by women who write really well. Go read for yourself and you'll see what I mean.

I'm just going to give the link and let you read for yourself. You can speculate for yourself as to why I linked to it (although I will say that I always appreciate a good rant).

Microsoft Boycott is a really interesting (and fairly scary) site. I wish I could boycott Microsoft, frankly, but all of my software (thousands and thousands of dollars worth of it) is for Windows. Anyone know if you can run this stuff on a Power Mac... ?

Apparently, a Turkish couple living in Germany want to name their baby Osama bin Laden.

The thing I found most amusing about this article, though, is the final paragraph, which is obviously the "In Case You've Been in a Coma or Living Under a Big, Dark Rock for a Year Clause" and informs readers that, "The United States blames al Qaeda and its leader, Saudi-born bin Laden, for the September 11 attacks."

Okay, here's an Australianism I find both amusing and odd. First, and this isn't necessarily odd, just different, Aussies tend to make nicknames by sticking an "O" on the end of things. Like instead of saying "thingy" they may say "thingo". I've also heard "yummo" instead of "yummy".

The part that I find odd is that they'll shorten just about anything and stick an O on the end of it. For example, the Salvation Army is known as "The Salvos" (they even use this in their advertising). Another thing I don't entirely get is a football team (rugby? can't recall) called the "Rabbit-ohs". As in "rabbit with an o stuck on the end". Presbyterians are sometimes called "Presbos" (I don't know if Methodists are/were "Methodos"). Probably the funniest thing I've seen is a roadside fish seller (with a refridgerated truck, of course) that had "Fisho" painted on the side of the truck.

I don't get it. I mean, I get it, in the sense that it's a characteristic of the dialect, probably originating with some other English/Irish/Scottish dialect (Irish, I'd guess, but that's purely speculation on my part). I just "don't get it" in the sense that it's very strange to my American ears. I'm used to it by now (I can find "the thingo" as well as the next person and tell when something is "yummo"), but sometimes I still hear usages of it that make me kinda cock my head to the side and make that "dog listening to his master's voice" expression.

Yes, I'm listening to Duran Duran, the band so nice they named it twice (actually, it's after a character in Barbarella).

Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Just like that river drifting through the dusty land
And when she shines, she really shows you all she can
Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande

This CD just screams 1982. I remember 1982 very well, thank you, although I was never a particular fan of New Wave. I remember the first video they played on MTV (it was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles). I remember hearing Duran Duran's Rio while sitting in a pizza place in Rome, New York. I have no idea why I remember that particular time I heard it, because back then when I wasn't even out of my teens I used to listen to Top 40 radio all the time and I heard the song a lot. For some reason, the Pizza Hut just sticks in my head, though. Who knows why.

I picked up this CD tonight at the grocery store for a really cheap price. I wouldn't have bought it if it weren't cheap. I mean, come on, it's Duran Duran.

Don't say a prayer for me now
Save it 'til the morning after

I got curious as to what happened to these guys and was somewhat surprised to find they seem to still be around and doing stuff.

Just an aside here, that no one but North Americans calls them "cell phones". Australians (and others, I know) call them "moblie phones". I've taken to calling them "mobile" because of the weird looks I get from Australians when I say "cell phone" (and that's the same reason I started saying "to-mah-to" instead of "to-may-to").

Anyway, why do cell phones make us stupid? Andrew's got a mobile phone, which is handy for non-gratuitious purposes like calling when he gets into the train station so he can get a ride home, or calling for roadside assistance if the car breaks down or for calling an appointment to tell them we're on our way but will be a little late. I don't have a mobile phone. I'll get one eventually for emergencies and so on, but I'm really not into mobile phone culture. I can't imagine actually wanting to walk down the aisles of a supermarket while yapping away at someone who's not even there.

I don't even like the conventional phone that much. I always figure that if I'm doing something else that I feel is important, whoever it is will call back if they really needed to talk to me. I don't drop everything to dash to the phone.

With a mobile phone, this is magnified, because I've seen people interrupt a dinner date or a party by answering their phone and having a conversation with someone who's not even there at the time. Pretty rude if you ask me. Unless you're a doctor or a network administrator or someone else who needs to be "on call", can't you just talk to the people you're ACTUALLY WITH for a few hours and let the people who are somewhere else just BE somewhere else?

Anyway. Enough ranting. Go read the article. She was more articulate than I was just now.

I got a giggle out of this one (sent to me by Lori, and if you think I'm "plugging" her new website, you're absolutely right). It was originally a "blonde" joke, but I know an awful lot of smart blondes and I was once blonde, myself, and, well, since I generally dislike Stupid People, I've edited it slightly.

This could happen to anyone......
A Stupid Woman tries to go horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the woman begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the mane but can't seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it's slipping rider. Unfortunately, the woman's foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune, the Woolworths manager sees her and unplugs the horse.

I've liked the Flame Warriors site for a long time, and today had occasion to revisit. What fun!

Go on. Pull my finger.

When I had my big hard drive crash and reinstalled everything, I added in some of the Windows accessibility tools. Well, one thing they have is "high visibility" mouse cursors. Boy, are these things cool! They change color depending on the background they're on. Very entertaining, to say the least, and it's nice not to have to jiggle the mouse to find the pointer.

Not sure if this qualifies as "Moron" mail, exactly. I think it may be more like "Confused" mail.

This was sent via the mailform on the Unicorns site. Here it is in its entirety (well, they also included an email address, but I'm not going to publish that):

help me

Uhmm... Yeah.

Just read the description and the reviews/comments for the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom.

Happy 17th Birthday, and Happy Labor Day, as well.

I've always thought Lori was very entertaining. I didn't realize just how good of a writer she is, though, until she started keeping a weblog. She really does have an extremely entertaining way of telling stories.

Don't you love it when people who don't have a clue how something works or why something is set up the way it is take it upon themselves to totally change it, therefore screwing it up and making it unusable, and then have the nerve to argue with you about it?

Yeah. Me too.