Just what I needed. Verbal abuse from a Bible-thumping illiterate somewhere in the backwoods of Arkansas (according to the trace on his IP address).

I got this today in relation (I assume) to my essay on researching a specific mistranslation that occurs in one particular version of the Bible. It's the "Why is the Unicorn in the King James" essay. It's just a bit of fun, really. A hobby.

Here's the email, from Billy the Slack-Jawed Yokel:

So you are telling people that as a man
a human being quote unquote that you
know that the bible is not true and you
cant even read hebrew,yet you can
translate that the bible is a poetic
click.Well Ive got news for you news
flash the bible is true,god does exhist
and if you dont believe that,you are
going straight to hell on a one way
ticket,ill pray for youre ignorance but
until you change that stupidity you
believe in and stop believing in man
and fery tails and pray to god you
still have a one way ticket.O and by
the way unicorns did exhist and the
bible is living proof,altho you will
never grasp that cause you still
apperantly believe in only what you can
see. I hope you change for youre
sake.Good day.

I never said the Bible wasn't true. I certainly have never said that I don't believe in God. I DID say that the King James was translated by humans. In fact, if you're interested, you can read for yourself what the translators of the King James had to say about their work, and it was not, "This work is perfect and without flaw." Rather the contrary.

Well, Billy, I'm glad to hear you'll be praying for MY ignorance and stupidity. I will admit it's never occurred to me to pray for anyone's stupidity, at least until now. I think I'll be praying that you learn to control yourself and stop sending curses and flames to people who write things you don't understand.

And so that you won't risk getting more upset by things you don't understand, I think I'll just ban your IP address from visiting that domain. After all, I wouldn't want you to get your undies in an even more rigteous bunch.

I also find it amusing that this idiot thinks I only believe what I can see. How much further from the truth can one assumption be, I wonder? I rarely speak of my spirituality in a public forum, but I am, in fact, very much a believer in an awful lot of things that are wholly intangible. I've experienced and seen things that most people would think are either holy visions or utter madness (and possibly a little of both). I've been places, spiritually speaking, that most people don't know exist, and where I never wanted to go. I've been through a trial by fire that nearly destroyed me, and through it all, the only thing I HAD to keep me going was faith in things intangible and promises that most people would have thought I was crazy to trust. But I did believe, and I did trust, and I came through that hell a different and much better person.

Apparently, I need to go back through it, though, because even after all of that, I still don't believe the King James Bible is any more perfect than any other translation... Ah, well. Thankfully, Billy is praying for my ignorance and stupidity, so maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and suddenly realize the error of my ways and fall on my face in praise of the unicorn or something...

Slow Cooker Cheese Potatoes is what's for dinner here today.

We finally saw kangaroos today. Well, when I say "we" I mean me. Andrew's seen lots of them. I've been in Australia about three and a half years, and I've only seen roos in the wild once, and that was at some distance as we sped down the highway. Today, though, I really got to see some roos.

There was a whole group of them in a field, lounging around in the shade, nibbling on the grass, generally just hanging out, as roos are inclined to do. I couldn't get very close, which is probably a good thing, as I might have scared them off and I wouldn't have gotten any pictures. As it is, I got several shots, but they're not great. My camera doesn't have a very powerful telephoto lens. But I did get some snaps of them, and you can see for yourself that there really are kangaroos in Australia.

The ones we saw today are Eastern Grey Kangaroos. They're not terribly big (a couple of meters tall, at most), and they're very common and frequently considered a pest when the population gets out of control and they ravage the countryside and farmlands.

Still, I found it exciting. Kangaroos, right out there in a field where I could look at them and take their pictures. How cool is that?

There are also a couple of new pictures on that page of the photo gallery that I took today of the Yarra River at Warrendyte. Very pretty, and apparently you can swim there. It's way too cold for that now, of course, since July is winter (yes, I think it's strange, too, even after all this time; I don't know if I'll ever get used to the backward seasons entirely).

So that was my day. Nice ride in the countryside, a bit of shopping, got some good pictures, and I saw kangaroos. Life is good.

Man falls into 1,200 Gallon Vat of Liquefied Chocolate. And while I really don't want to make light of someone's death (and I honestly don't), I think if I had to choose an unnatural way to die... Well, I'll stop right there.

Now this was fun. Here's what happened with the Song-O-Matic and the entries I put in (with very slight editing):

"You Know" by boyz4u

I'm reaching for you
Are you feeling it too?
Oooh
Baby

The birds don't sing without you
And sun don't shine without you
And I can't live without you

It's you, you, you
baby
Ooooh, oooohhh
baby, baby
You know It's true
oooh yeah, oooh yeah, oooh yeah
Baby, you know, you know it's true
Ooooooh

I just want to say thank you, baby
For being you

boyz4u make it big with "You Know" and replace The Backstreet Boys as 'N Sync's greatest rival. The merchandise is rolled out--dolls, key chains, beepers, cell phones, musical socks, you name it. A group of voodoo-practicing 'N Sync fans in New Orleans tries to secure their band's number one spot. They stick pins in boyz4u dolls during live international telecast, and make them spout obscenities like; la Eminem, and grab their crotches like Michael Jackson. But it backfires! The world loves their sexy new moves and new bad-boy image! Congratulations!

I just reported a spam that really turns my stomach. It's unbelievably sleazy. I suppose it could be just total and utter cluelessness, but I think it's outright sleaze, personally.

I'm a member of a particular organization for Christian webmasters and have been for some time. There are actually issues that people running Christian or church sites have to deal with that commercial or personal site masters don't ever encounter, and I guess you could say it's a form of fellowship and sharing. Since I manage a church webiste (didn't know that, did you?) and a decidedly Christian client site (you may have known that) and also a personal Christian site, I actually have found some good information in this group and have been able to share some of my expertise with others.

That being said, the spam I got specifically referenced this organization. They comment about how impressive the organization is, etc. That was my first red flag. I'm already a member, I know what they're about. And why was I getting this badly spelled and poorly written message... ? The guy who runs the actual group is very articulate and highly professional, and this email was neither of those things.

I read on and the next paragraph is this (edited because I refuse to give them ANY publicity of any sort, even bad publicity):

We at [name deleted] ([URL deleted]) , running a hosting biz since 1997 and having more than 3000+ customers world wide.

Our prices are very cheap at the same time our service to clients in
time is great.

You can use our hosting services for your all websites and we assure
very good experiences in your hosting with us.

As doing God's services, we are ready to give 50% less(reduction) in
setup charges for your all hosting with us.

you can find all hosting and packaging details from
[URL deleted]

When you sign up Pls mention"[name of the organization of which I'm a member deleted]" to us, for 50% reduction in setup charges.

Basically, what this looks like is these sleazes spidered or otherwise grabbed email addresses from the membership listing there, and they're mentioning this organization and trying to get business by pretending to be affiliated with them. They are not the hosts of the site for the group. They are not affiliated in any way. They were not authorized to offer anything to anyone on behalf of the design group.

Is that sleazy or what? I've already directly contacted the true owner and manager of the group in question. I sent him the complete email, headers and all, so he could see what was being sent. He was pretty annoyed, and mailed all the members telling them he did not authorize that nor did they have any affiliation with the group, and that he was going to complain to their web host and ISP.

Good.

What will these bastard spammers try next? They just come up with one sleazy trick after another.

Buying bread from a man in Brussels He was six foot four and full of muscles I said, "Do you speak-a my language?" He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

~ from "Down Under" by Men at Work

So what IS Vegemite, anyway? Well, you could visit their official website if you wanted. But that wouldn't give you a real idea about the stuff.

Vegemite is actually a by-product of the beer brewing process. It's made of yeast and salt and, errr... mostly yeast and salt. It's brown. It's an acquired taste. It's also sort of an unofficial national food. Yes, really.

As for what it tastes like, well, try to imagine what a thick, yeasty, salty goo that accumulated in the bottom of a beer vat might taste like if you put it on toast.

No, I don't like Vegemite. I've tried it on several occasions just to see if I could manage to acquire the taste for it, but I just can't. Some Americans do come to like the stuff, but I don't think I'll ever be one of them.

One thing I've noticed about Australians is that if you say you don't like Vegemite they always say, "Oh, you must have spread it too thickly!" This is a common error Americans make. It does have to be spread really thinly (personally, I think a depth of two to three molecules would be plenty). There seems to be this underlying assumption that if you don't like Vegemite, it's something YOU did, other than it being the fault of the yeasty, salty brown goo, itself.

Well, I've had real, live Australians with years of Vegemite experience make toast for me, so I know it was prepared correctly. I still think it's foul.

I will admit that it might be all right if it was spread very thinly (that's a bit of a national chant, there) on a sandwich with, say, lettuce, tomato, and cheese (and by the way, it's a "to-MAH-to" in Australia, not a "to-MAY-to", but that's another essay entirely). In other words, use just enough Vegemite to add a little saltiness to an otherwise non-salty sandwich. That might be okay. I haven't tried it, but I'm willing to concede that it might be all right.

That's pretty much the deal with Vegemite. I honestly don't know why Australians love the stuff as much as they do, but I guess it's just something you grow up with, sort of like Americans and Oscar Meyer products or something. I don't entirely "get it", but then, I'm an immigrant, bringing in my strange new ideas and pronouncing it "to-MAY-to" and all...

"We're happy little Vegemites As happy as can be. We all enjoy our Vegemite For breakfast, lunch and tea. Our mother says we're growing stronger every single week Because we love our Vegemite. We all adore our Vegemite. IT PUTS A ROSE IN EVERY CHEEK!"

~ The Vegemite Song (first performed on a radio ad in 1950)

I've got a list of "yummy men". I haven't ever actually compiled it in writing or anything, but I know who's on it. My list is a little different than some women might have because I like brains and a sense of humor and talent, probably more than I care about looks.

Anyway, I've added a new one to my list of Yummy Men. It's Hugh Jackman. I saw X Men finally and Hugh Jackman in tight leather is almost as appealing as Hugh Jackman with his shirt off. Gaaahhhh.... (that's the sound of drooling, by the way, a la Homer Simpson).

But more than the way he looks (or at least, the way he looked in that film), I've seen Hugh do other cool stuff. For example, he played the lead in Oklahoma. He also appeared on Rove Live with John Travolta (who is not on the list, just for the record, although I do find him funny and personable), and they performed Summer Nights (from Grease), with Hugh singing the Sandy part in a falsetto voice. Most amusing.

Furthermore, Hugh Jackman is married to an older woman. Gotta love that. Well, you don't have to, but as a woman who is married to a younger man, I love it. Shows he's got good taste.

So, Hugh, welcome to my List of Yummy Men. One day I'll actually write the list out. John Cusack is on it (I liked him before, but then I saw Grosse Pointe Blank and that clinched it). So is Jon Bon Jovi. And Anthony Edwards (who I've liked since Revenge of the Nerds, remember that one?). There are others but I can't think of them right now. Yeah, I really ought to write this all down...

I'm sure I've posted this in my blog before, but since I've done away with the older archives and I was just reminded of this site again, well, here's the link: Pirated Sites. Go, point, and laugh along.

Is this or is this not the most hypnotic piece of Shockwave you've ever seen: Rage.

On the list of directions on many foods, you'll find as the last directive this word: ENJOY (tonight I made one that actually told me to "eat and enjoy" as if I'd not know to eat it or something).

Why do they need to tell you to enjoy it? That's what I wanna know.

I was observing a thread in a place populated by... well, a lot of the users there are very young and not very socially well-adjusted, let's put it that way. It's a form of online interaction that appeals to people who don't have real lives and don't know how to get them (yes, it's a type of chat community, but I'm not saying that all chat users are lifeless losers or anything, and no, I don't know why I still go there; mostly habit, I guess).

Anyway, the thread was extremely insulting to fat people. Totally obnoxious. It was also insulting to anyone who likes or just doesn't mind fat people.

The thing that struck me is that if you replaced "fat person" with "Asian" or with "Indian" or something similar, you'd be making totally socially unacceptable racial slurs. Say "Italians are disgusting and anyone who wants to have sex with an Italian is obviously desperate and pathetic," and you're going to be socially denounced. But say, "Fat people are disgusting and anyone who wants to have sex with a fat person is obviously desperate and pathetic," and that's okay. It's a matter of "personal taste" or something.

Well, that sucks.

That's all.

Y'know, I'm all for people having opinions. Being an American, I happen to like diversity, even when I'm the minority, and even when someone's opinions are contrary to mine. Like Voltaire, that most misquoted and paraphrased of philosophers, I may not agree with your opinion, but I'll defend your right to express it.

That being said, I'm also all for rants. I love reading a good, amusing, strongly felt rant. Yes, even if I disagree. I appreciate the rant as an art form.

But... I absolutely HATE it when people rant about stuff they have NO CLUE about. When people get some half-formed idea in their head about something some guy on this one chat said about some company that tried to enforce a patent on something and it's gonna be the end of the world wide web as we know it...

I see this all the time on the net. I'm not going to name specifics, but the number of tempests in teacups that I've seen over rumors and half-baked notions is countless. And I mean, I can get that, too. As postulated in the film, Men in Black, a PERSON can be smart, but PEOPLE are dumb.

Basically, though, I hate seeing anyone waste a good rant and righteous indigation on nothing. If you're gonna get worked up about something, get your facts straight FIRST. If you're going to read someone the Riot Act, maybe you should make sure that you're 1) reading it to the right person and 2) you know what, precisely, the Riot Act is.

Okay. I know that Yo-Yo Ma is this really talented and highly respected classical cellist (I know this because my mother-in-law is a music teacher and my husband is a cellist). And I do know that Yo-Yo Ma is a name of Asian extraction.

But... Well... Doesn't the name Yo-Yo Ma sound like a gangsta rappa to you?

And by the way, my gangsta rappa name is Candy Floss, courtesy of the Gangsta Rappa Name Generator.

Candy Floss is okay, but... it's not as good as Yo-Yo Ma...

You're too shy-de-shy Hush, hush, I-do-I Too shy-de-shy Hush, hush I-do-I

Hehe. Talk about deep, eh? Ghawd, this song is just... it reeks of that "Early Eighties" sound. Know the band? I didn't either. It's Kajagoogoo. Apparently, they're Australian.

This, by the way, is a CD of "one hit wonders" of the 80s. Songs like:

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy

It's not commonly known, but Bobby McFerrin is a serious musician. He's won ten Grammy awards in his career. He's also a serious orchestra conductor. This particular song was just a funny little novelty song on a very entertaining album. So... it's not really fair to say he's a "one hit wonder". Maybe he's only had one "radio" hit, but the "one hit" he did have was huge, so if you've got to have just one, hey, this is the one to have. He is, in reality, an extremely successful musician.

Unlike Kajagoogoo. *smirk*

And now...

Don't forget me when I'm gone
My heart will break
I have loved you for so long
It's all I can take

Now who were you again? Survivor? You sound a lot like Wham... Huh? Glass Tiger? Uh, okay. If you say so...

The Bigger The Webdesigner, The Bigger The Target.

This article is a really good read, and it's pretty amusing. I had forgotten the story about Moyra (of Moyra's Web Jewels, which is now closed) and the "Stick Typer" who stole her identity. I also hadn't heard some of Jaguarwoman's own stories of bizarre online stalkers and pirates.

Anyway, go read the article. You may understand why so many designers have stopped providing linkware graphics or have started to charge a subscription rate for their website...

Ooh ooh ooh Hey, what? It's like wow It's like wow It's like wow Ooh, hey, what It's like wow

Are those not the deepest, most profound lyrics you've ever seen? I have to admit, though, it is a really catchy tune, and Leslie Carter sings it well enough (if you like that type of girly, probably-blonde, expect her to break out into giggles at any moment type of voice).

On the other hand, the soundtrack also features a Leonard Cohen song (thankfully sung by someone else; I absolutely love Cohen's music, but his singing makes Bob Dylan sound like Pavarotti).

And, of course, the very cool Smash Mouth version of I'm a Believer and the very amusing All Star, among other very pleasant songs.

I love a movie with a good soundtrack. That it also happens to be a really good movie is cool, too.

So, Shrek is highly recommended. On all counts. Cuz, what? It's like wow.

Today in my spam filter I found an email from some "director" at a service that proposed to get "my" site listed "in search engines" (because they "noticed" it wasn't). The problem? It wasn't my site. Not at all. Not even a little bit. I don't think I've ever even heard of the site (it's recovery/trauma related).

How did they manage to associate my email address with that site? I have no idea. Apparently, their automated email grabber isn't very smart, and neither are they.

This isn't the first time I've seen this. A client site of mine (a ministry site targeted at the spouses of pastors) got a spam like that from some concerned search engine business that informed us that they'd checked in a listing of Santa Barbara restaurants and the site wasn't even listed, but they could help!

Yeah. Well, when I want my cat's homepage listed as a massage palour in Brooklyn, I'll be sure to contact you...

Just now got a couple of odd and amusing comments regarding my name. I mentioned that I do use my full name (Bonni Elizabeth Hall) a lot of the time, because I chose it myself and I like it.

The responses were, "How on earth do you choose your own name?" and then "I was wondering the same thing. Reincarnation, perhaps?" *chuckle*

Nothing nearly that interesting. I just filed some papers and made a very brief court appearance and voila, new name that I chose myself.

Not even that mysterious, now that I write it out...

It does make me wonder, though, that this wasn't already obvious. Maybe I'm just weird. No, scratch that. I am weird. Nevermind.

I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses For tonight I sleep in a bed of nails I wanna be as close as the Holy Ghost is And lay you down in a bed of roses

In the middle eighties, when Bon Jovi was oh-so-sizzling-hot, I got pretty sick of them. I couldn't flip channels past a video show without seeing Jon Bon Jovi. I couldn't turn on the radio, or go to the state fair or anything without having Bon Jovi in my face.

Truth is, though, I liked them. And I still do.

Jon Bon Jovi is definitely on my list of Yummy Men™, probably because of the "bad boy" aura. And the hair doesn't hurt. And, hey, he puts on a really good show (yes, I've seen them live, back in the 80s) and he's still rocking, so that says something right there.

Your love is like bad medicine Bad medicine is what I need Woah, shake it up, just like bad medicine Let's play doctor baby, cure my disease...

And yes, since I know you're all wondering, I DO actually bop in my seat and sing along when I listen to music. I even sometimes actually still DANCE, too. There's some life in this fat old broad yet...