Are you a complete and utter idiot? Need to order a pizza? Here's the guide you've been looking for, courtesy of the always-entertaining Brunching Shuttlecocks.

Easy and painless tattoo removal. (Well, I found it amusing, anyway.)

I got an email just now that was sent to an address at Shoshanna, our Christian ministry site. In fact, it was sent to the address for the webring there (which is about Christianity and recovery, a very specialized ring). I think that's the only place where an actual email address appears (the rest are mailforms, I think; I'm too lazy to go check right now).

Anyway, the email had no content whatsover and two attachments, one of which appeared to be a .wav file and the other of which was a graphic file. The subject line was something to do with PDF files and Adobe Acrobat.

Needless to say, I didn't investigate further. I've no bloody clue what it was. I don't actually care. It was probably some sort of "evagespam", which is my name for random acts of evangelism (why they send these to a Christian site, I don't know; isn't that preaching to the choir?!).

Well, whatever it was, it prompted three reactions. The first was that I muttered about people being idiots and I deleted it. The second was that I set that address to get filtered through Spamcop automatically. The third was that I posted about it here.

I just wonder... why? Why do people send empty emails with odd attachments to total strangers? What's the thrill in that? Was there some sort of virus or trojan involved? Why to THAT address?

Bah. It's all far too "twilight zone" for me. I prefer sensible emails with actual, you know, CONTENT and attempts at COMMUNCIATION, but then, I'm weird.

Police fear wurst, halt Wienermobile near Pentagon. It's in the "Weird News" section of the Kansas City homepage and you know what? They're right. It is pretty weird.

Guess it's not true that if you are an Oscar Mayer wiener everyone will fall in love with you (and yes, I'm showing my age and my national origin by knowing the words to the Oscar Mayer weiner song).

George W. Bush's Scorecard of Evil.

Fairly biased and definitely somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but it's worth having a look at.

No, I don't like George W. Bush. I didn't vote for him. (I can say the exact same thing about Australia's current Prime Minister, John Howard.) That's pretty much the extent of my political statements, at least as far as this blog goes. I just found the article interesting.

Couple Walks Down the Aisle of a Wal-Mart. Yes, really. I'm all for having your wedding really reflect your lives, your tastes, etc., but... well, I guess this just says something about the lives of this couple, eh?

I, I like ice cream A kind of smooth kick taste takes away my mind You, you ain't a better thing But if you gotta big car, take me for a ride

I love this CD. I really, really like Taxiride. They're very fresh and GenX, but they've got some really great retro influences like the Byrds, Crosby, Stills, & Nash and I believe I hear some Eagles-type stuff in there, and maybe a bit of early Chicago or similar style, and certainly some late Beatles (the piccolo trumpet on "Ice Cream" is pretty Beatlesque, for example). Good stuff, no matter what inflences they claim or I think I may hear. I have a big fondness for guitar-driven soft rock with strong vocal harmonies (hey, I grew up in the Seventies, what can I say?). This is precisely the sort of stuff I like.

It's also good to know that I'm not so old that I never buy "new" music any more. Someday, I know, I'll only buy stuff that's old and familiar to me, but I'm still out there buying new stuff, so I'm not too old yet...

And as the silence turns to sound You are with me now And as the day begins to sing I'm telling you -- I'm still in love with you

Oh, and in case you didn't know, they're from Melbourne...

Lucky you were born that far away so We could both make fun of distance Lucky that I love a foreign land for The lucky fact of your existence

Of course, my breasts aren't "small and humble", but even so, I don't think anyone's ever confused them with mountains...

Shakira was on tour in Australia not long ago. I saw her on a couple of different shows. She's quite well-spoken and very bright. I like to see that sort of thing in a performer. There's nothing more annoying than a good-looking but totally stupid person making a lot of money, IMHO.

I also like that she's got real hips like a grown-up woman. She doesn't look like she's emaciated or like an adolescent boy. Good on her, I say.

I also wondered what cultural/ethnic type would be trendy this decade, and I'm thinking probably Latin is it. Enrico, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Shakira...

Just what the world needs, a Spam Muesum. Oh, it's not for the unsolicited bulk email sort of spam. It's for the reasonably tasty meat product by Hormel (yes, I do think it's reasonably tasty if prepared properly).

Anyway, next time I'm in Austin, Minnesota, you can bet where I'll be going!

I've just posted a new recipe at The Red Kitchen. It's for a super-easy Chinese style chicken soup.

And while we're on the subject of recipes, I've been having fun checking out CopyKat Recipes. I've gotta try the one for Chili's Awesome Blossom. I've been describing these onion things to Australians for ages and they all look at me like I'm a little off my rocker...

I keep getting a variation of a particular spam (it's all caught in my spam filter, and yes, I take every opportunity to sing the praises of Spamcop, which filters not only spam but also viruses). The title is always a variation of:

Get a Bigger Bust in 60 days

Sometimes it promises me that if I had bigger breasts, men would look...

I daresay they would. I'm not going to give my bra size, but trust me when I say that "extra-extra large" is in the neighborhood. I generally have to order bras from a specialty company because normal stores don't usually stock them in my size. Partly, I'm fat, but even at my slimmest (around the age of 18), I was a D-cup, and I'm a lot heavier now, with a lot of it settled right in my chest. I've got permanent deep grooves on my shoulders from brastraps. I get frequent neck and upper back pain.

Yes, I think if my breasts got any bigger, men would look. So would women. I'd be a circus freak and unable to stand upright!

Ah, the joys of spam, eh? At least I had the pleasure of reporting it to the originaing ISP(s) and I get to mock their stupidity here in my weblog. Well, I'll take any opportunity to find something funny, personally.

Now maybe I should write about the one that promises me I can have a bigger penis that women will love...

Here's the article. You can read it for yourself. In a nutshell, some moron at the Patent Office granted a business method patent on what amounts to ALL e-commerce, and the holder of the patent is suing businesses for thousands of dollars in licensing fees. That's about the lowest thing I've heard in a long, long time. It's worse than pornmongers, as far as I'm concerned. At least they're selling something!

According to The reevo.com Mafia Nickname Creator, my Mafia name is: Bonni "Extra Arm" Hall.

Amazing how the script knew about that extra arm. I mean, it's not something I talk about much, y'know? Of course, it's not actually MY arm, but that's another matter entirely. It was like that when I got there.