So anyway…

Happy Birthday, and I hope you have a wonderful one.

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Well, I got a letter today from The Hon. Gary Hardgrave, MP, Minister for Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs, Parliament House, Canberra (Canberra, for those not familiar with Australia’s cities, is the nation’s capital.)

Apparently, The Hon. Gary Hardgrave is pleased to tell me that my application for the grant of Australian citizenship has been approved. Among othe things, he congratulated me on my decision to become an Australian citizen, and he welcomed me on behalf of the Government and all Australians (so the next time some Australian is rude to me, I’ll just tell them that The Hon. Gary Hardgrave spoke on their behalf and they’re supposed to be welcoming, dammit!).

There was more in the letter, including making it clear that I’m not legally a citizen until I take the oath of citizenship, and that has yet to be arranged.
This, of course, is all very nice, and was quicker than I expected. I went for the interview on Tuesday, got the letter on Friday. And considering that the letter had to come from Canberra, that makes it even more impressive. I didn’t know government offices could do ANYthing that quickly.

There is one distressing bit. I’m hoping that this is just a typo on the part of the office of The Hon. Gary Hardgrave. I know for sure that all my official paperwork, the photocopies of my drivers’ license and the papers I had to file, etc., all have my name spelled correctly. The letter from The Hon. Gary Hardgrave, however, greets me as Ms. Bonnie Elizabeth Hall. I don’t know anyone of that name, and there’s certainly no one of that name living here, so I presume they mean me, but errr, there’s one too many vowels in there…

Monday, I’ll call the Immigration office and check to make sure that they do, indeed, have my name spelled correctly, and that they’ll have it spelled correctly on the forms for my citizenship. I think it should be all right, and normally I don’t make a fuss when someone spells my name wrong (I’m used to it), but on official paperwork, I think it’s important to get it right. As Shakespeare wrote and I’m about to paraphrase, happy is she whose name is well spelt.

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Both of these are by Picasso, an artist whose work I appreciate but don’t really like all that much for various reasons (yes, it’s possible to appreciate things you don’t like, and if you don’t believe that, just go study art for a few years and you’ll eventually be able to do it because theyll drill it into your head, heh).

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My brother-in-law works for lawyers (he’s a geek, the IT Manager, not a laywer). He rarely emails me from his work address, but now and then it comes up. Attached to all outgoing email sent by the law firm (whose name I won’t mention, but if you REALLY want to know, you could always visit Greg’s homepage and find out), is the following notice (slightly edited for the privacy of the firm and legal reasons, hehe):

This e-mail is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information which is confidential and privileged. If you have received this e-mail in error, you are hereby notified that any distribution or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify us immediately by return e-mail or on [phone number deleted for pivacy] and destroy the original e-mail. Thank you.

There’s also a link to their homepage, but I deleted that, too.

Only lawyers could come up with that disclaimer, you know? I don’t think I’m in violation of their disclaimer, though. I didn’t repost the actual email (which wasn’t at all sensitive, confidential, or privileged, although of course, it’s always a privilege to get email from Greg — I put that in in case he ever actually reads this). Gee, I hope they don’t sue me for distributing their disclaimer…

When I commented on the humorous quality of the disclaimer, Greg, the dear man, thought that since I found theirs so funny, I would find the one from another lawfirm (whose name I will also omit) even MORE hilarious, and I did. I literally laughed out loud over this one:

IMPORTANT NOTICE – PLEASE READ
This communication is confidential and may be legally privileged and/or contain copyright material. If you are not the intended recipient of this email, any use, forwarding, printing or reproduction of it or any attachment, is prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, immediately contact us by return mail or by calling [phone number deleted] and then irretrievably delete it and any attachments.
We will preserve the contents of any email message that you send us if we believe that we have a legal obligation to do so and we will otherwise comply with the provisions of the Privacy Act 1988 to the extent that it applies. Email sent from or to us may be monitored for the purposes of quality control, systems administration and legal compliance.
You should check for viruses or other harmful components before opening or using any attachments to this email. Our liability is limited to resupplying any affected attachments and if applicable, by the Solicitors Scheme under the Professional Standards Act 1994 (NSW).

Still giggling, actually…. (Thanks, Greg.)

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Missycat has a new trick. She’s figured out how to climb up onto the roof. She learned this by watching the other cat (that cat being Miffy, my in-laws cat, who we’re looking after while the in-laws are living overseas). Mind you, Missycat and Miffy don’t like each other, but they do watch each other and learn new things that way.

Anyway, Missycat can get up on the roof, but she can’t get down. Why she doesn’t come down the way she gets up (which is by climbing up a particular tree), I don’t know. But the silly cat gets up there and then can’t get down, so she sits on the roof just outside the kitchen window and meows until someone comes and rescues her, which we have to do by climbing up on something, usually one of the chairs on the deck, and lifting her down.

She did this a couple of times and finally I thought I’d teach her a lesson, which is, “Don’t go up if you can’t get down.” I left her up there overnight, even though I knew perfectly well she wanted to come in. It’s not very nice, I know, but it wasn’t raining or anything (I wouldn’t leave any cat on a roof in the rain!), and I figured maybe she’d get it into her little kitty head that going onto the roof wasn’t a good idea.

All was well at first. She stayed inside for a couple of days. Didn’t ask to go out at all (she has a litter tray inside, so she doesn’t really need to go out). Finally, she did go out for a bit of a stroll and a snoop and I figured she’d be smart enough to keep her paws on the ground.

Nope. I was wrong. Tonight I went into the kitchen to get a drink and I heard the meowing outside. I thought she just wanted to come in. I opened the door but no cat. Peered out into the darkness and a couple of gold eyes flash at me from the edge of the roof, just above the rain gutter. Yup. Had to go out and stand on chair and get the silly thing down again.

My cat just turned ten years old, I’ll have you know. She’s middle-aged, as cats go. Why on earth a middle aged lady like that wants to creep around on a tile roof I honestly can’t imagine. Particularly since she has to yell for someone to come and get her down!

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Well, I went to have my interview today. It was pretty straightforward. I should get a letter in about two weeks telling me my application has been approved, and then in a few months, when there’s a ceremony in my area, I’ll be contacted about going to that for my swearing in as a citizen.

And then I have the obligation to register to vote, I have to serve on a jury if I’m called to do so, I have to obey Australia’s laws (like I don’t do that now), and I have to defend Australia if the need arises (so I guess when I hear idiots on the net saying bad things about Australia I’m supposed to step in…?). Those are my responsibilities, which I had to recite at the interview.

But I’ll also get the right to join the Australian military (yeah, right) or get a government job that requires Australian citizenship, I can get an Australian passport, I can vote, I can run for public office, I can request assistance from an Australian embassy if I’m overseas, and I can register a child born overseas as an Australian citizen.

Those things, by the way, are my Responsibilities and Rights as an Australian Citizen, which I had to recite at the interview. They did give me a few minutes to review the list, of course, and I’m pretty good at memorizing this sort of thing.
Oh, and apparently, 17 September is Citizenship Day. Perhaps that’s when I’ll be able to become naturalized (dunno if there’s enough time, but perhaps).

So there you go. In a few weeks or a couple of months or so, I’ll be a fair dinkum Aussie. I think that probably feels about the same as being an expatriate American who lives as a Permanent Resident, except for the voting and running for office and all that.

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Next week, I’m going to go to have the required interview I have to have before they can proceed with my citizenship application. No idea what they’ll ask. Presumably, they just want to see me in person, make sure I’m alive and really who I say I am, make sure I’m still living in Australia, etc. The interview for the Permanent Residency was pretty low-key, so I excpect this will be, as well.

And then, in a few weeks or whenever they get the paperwork filed, I get to come in, swear an oath, and, hey, presto cadabra, I’m an Australian.

Anyway, I’m not excited about it yet, other than I’m happy to have the opportunity to go into the city. We don’t go much any more. No, let me rephrase. Andrew goes to the city every day of the work week. The kids and I mostly stay out here in the suburbs, shuffling around shopping centers and eating lunch in food courts and buying things at Target. Not that you can’t do that in the city, as well, of course, but it’s a suburban thing. All I need is one of those awful SUVs to terrorize the parking lots with and I’ll be all set.

Oh, dear. I seem to have gone off on a tangent. I started on one topic/story and ended on something completely different. I think I must watch The Simpsons too much.

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This is fun. Do a Google search for a cup in litres. Then, try the answer to life the universe and everything in binary, or c in furlongs per fortnight.
Unfortunately it doesn’t do certain metric measures. It can do litres, but not metric cups and metric teaspoons. Perhaps it’ll be upgraded at some point to include that stuff. In the meantime, I’ve always wanted to know how many pounds there are in a stone. And how many (kilo)calories are in a kiloJoule. And how many fathoms are in a kilometre.
Gee, you could waste a LOT of time with this…
Update: Suzanne noted that you get a metric conversion for a teaspoon in mililitres. You still can’t use terms like “metric cup” but so long as you know there are 250ml in a metric cup….

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I’m feeling very frazzled lately. Lots of stresses from various sources. I’ve had to cut back on stuff I normally do because I just can’t cope with all of it efficiently. I’m still pushing pixels (it’s excellent recreation for me), and I’m still active in a couple of forums, but mostly I’m just lying low. I’ve missed deadlines, I’ve lagged behind in several projects, it’s just all kinda slipping out of my control for the moment.
Doesn’t help that it’s winter. Oh, where, oh where is spring? Equinox, where are you? I need the long days back to help ease this damned Seasonal Affective Disorder…
Anyway. If you see me doing anything particularly dumbass lately, well, this is why. Too much stress over too long a period (mostly worrying about Zoë) and the shortened days. Potent combination. Yuck.

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A federal jury in Chicago awarded the University of California and a browser technology company $520.6 million after finding on Monday that their patents were infringed by Microsoft Corp.

Well, I think it’s good news, anyway. I tend to think of Microsoft as “The Evil Empire”. Any triumph against them pleases me.
And I have to admit, I’m dubious about software patents, not because I don’t think software should be able to be patented, but because the people issuing the patents only very rarely have any clue what the hell the application is about or what the technology is, but in this case, I’m glad to see it come to good use.
Now pardon me while I indulge in an evil cackle.
Bwahahahahahahahahhhh!!!!!!
Okay. Better now.

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