So anyway…

Deborah Wolfe, a Canadian citizen who was just breast-feeding her son and changing his diaper while en route between Houston and Vancouver, says her “subversive” actions led to her being threatened with detainment, RCMP involvement and legal charges for terrorist action against a U.S. citizen in international airspace while on an American flight during a time of war.

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Ages ago, I saw a sketch on The Two Ronnies, a British comedy show of the 70s (I think I saw the sketch in the 80s, but I can’t actually remember now).

The sketch has “words” made up of letters. Example: F U N E X? when said with the correct “accent” is “Have you any eggs?” and the reply to that question in the sketch is, “S V F X.” (Yes, we have eggs.) (The entire sketch is online if you want to read it, but it’s a little hard to tell what all the words are meant to be by just reading it; you might want to view it on YouTube).

Anyway, I was quite taken with this sketch and found it extremely funny, and for years afterward when I went to buy eggs or get some out of the fridge or order eggs or, well, pretty much anything to do with eggs, I’d often say, “F U N E X?” Nobody ever had the slightest idea what I was talking about. I got a lot of strange looks over the years, which, of course, never stopped me (I’m used to getting funny looks).

When I was first living with Andrew, we were in the kitchen one night making dinner. I don’t recall what we were making, but it called for eggs. I opened the fridge and took out the eggs and said, “F U N E X?” and Andrew responded, without missing a beat, “S V F X.”

If I hadn’t believed up until that point that we were meant for each other, that was what confirmed it. I was just amazed that he knew what I was talking about.

So there you go. How do you know your perfect lifemate? They know the next line of a favorite sketch from a British comedy show. At least, that’s how I know. I have mentioned, haven’t I, that Andrew’s as big of a Monty Python fan as I am?

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I’ve posted this link before, but not for a long time. Someone reminded me of the site again and I thought I’d pass it on. It’s really, really amusing: Engrish.com.

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Pretty weird stuff. (It doesn’t seem to handle the CSS very well, though).
Confused? Go here.

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“These antispammers should get a life,” she said. “Do their fingers hurt too much from pressing the delete key? How much time does that really take from their day?”

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I am almost positive you’ll never read this and that even if you did, you’d be too blind and self-deluded to recognize yourself in it. Nevertheless, I’m going to write it, because I want to say it “out loud”, as it were. I don’t need to say it to you, personally, for it to have the desired effect.

I was curious, and more than a little bored, and I went to find out some more about you. I have to say, you seem to have no idea who you are or what effect your actions have.

You put forth this as your favorite quote:  “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but People will never forget how you made them feel.”

Yes, that’s got a lot of truth in it. You’ve made me feel angry, outraged, irritated, somewhat nauseaus, and pity toward you. Is that what you meant? I think not. You like to imagine you make people feel good, feel loved, feel appreciated. But, well, you’ve had the opposite effect on me and on an awful lot of other people, as well.

You also put forth this quote, “Life is too short to be mean.”

Then why do you knowingly engage in deliberately obnoxious meanness and absolutely unethical behavior? Do you even understand that you’re acting completely contrary to what you say you believe? Are you so entirely deluded about who you are and what you’re like that you can’t see the dichotomy here?

I do feel sorry for you. I know that when you surround yourself with negativity, you bring negativity right back onto yourself. I know this because I’ve done the same thing, and still do on occasion. The difference is that I understand that I reap what I sow, I know that what goes around comes around, and when I sow a bad harvest or whatever it was comes around, I own it. Do you? I’m sure you’d say that you do, just as you say that it’s important how you make people feel. Clearly, you don’t really understand it, or you don’t really believe it, or you wouldn’t do the things you do and take the attitudes you take.

Well, you can consider this a prophecy or a prediction or a curse, whatever you wish, but I can pretty much tell you that until you come to understand that your own negative actions have a negative effect on other people, and until you understand that when you send out negativity that’s what you receive, until you understand that your own choices determine the path of your life and that you reap what you sow, you will never grow, evolve, or find true happiness.

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As soon as I’ve got US$20,000 to spare, I’m getting one of these.

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After 30 years, a gynecologist decides he needs a change of profession. He looks around at different employment options and decides he wants to become a mechanic, since he’s good with his hands.

He studies hard for three long years and spends three solid months cramming for his final exam. As he’s something of a perfectionist, he considers anything less than 100% failure.

When he gets his results back, he’s stunned and thrilled to see he received a whopping 150%. Wanting to know how it’s possible to achieve such a high score, he asks the instructor to explain.

“Well,” said the instructor, “you pulled the engine apart perfectly so I gave you 50% for that. Then you put it back together perfectly with no parts left over, so I gave you 50% for that. Then I gave you an extra 50% because in all my years of practice and teaching I have never seen it all done through the muffler”.

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Okay, I find this really hilarous. I’ve got to pass on the link to my best friend. She’s got a very bizarre sense of humor (which happens to be very like my own), AND she’s got a Jesus Christ Action Figure. Seriously. She’s a Buddhist (now; used to be Catholic), so I wonder if I can get a Buddha action figure (a search of the net turned up nothing but standard Buddha figures, dangit).

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Two cultural advisers to the Bush administration have resigned in protest over the failure of U.S. forces to prevent the wholesale looting of priceless treasures from Baghdad’s antiquities museum.

Well, it’s nice to know that at least someone in Washington cares about this issue.

And get this, apparently “antiquities experts have said they were given assurances months ago from U.S. military planners that Iraq’s historic artifacts and sites would be protected by occupying forces.”

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