So anyway…

Happy Fourteenth Birthday. I hope it’s a good one, and I hope you have a wonderful year.

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This story needs no explanation or punchline from me.

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I know it’s called “dentaphobia” but first of all, that should translate as “fear of teeth”. I’m not afraid of teeth, my own or anyone else’s.

And come to that, I’m not actually afraid of dentists. Most dentists that I’ve known have been perfectly fine people. Upon meeting a dentist I don’t get all scared and run off or anything. They’re not generally scary.

What I’m actually afraid of is having someone poke around my mouth with sharp metal objects. Personally, I think this is an entirely reasonable fear. It’s not irrational to be afraid of something like that. I’d be afraid of, say, torturers, too, if they had sharp pointy objects with which they were going to poke around in my mouth.

So what we need is a word that means “fear of people poking sharp metallic objects in your mouth” because the current word just doesn’t fit the bill…

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I rarely link to threads on discussion boards. In fact, in the two years I’ve been blogging, I can only think of maybe two occasions when I have done, and that was because I wanted to rant about the topic and needed some background information to do that.
This thread at the Cyber Crew board is an exception. I found it quite amusing, and thought some other people might, as well.

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The Creativity Filter looks great, doesn’t it?-

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If I were a Shakespearean character, I’d be Katerina the Shew. Well, at one time I would have been.

These days, I’m more like Beatrice, who isn’t so much a shrew as she is cynical and sarcastic. At least until she meets the love of her life (awwwww), who is also cynical and sarcastic.

Why can’t I find an online personality quiz to see “which shakespearean character are you”? I did have a look… If you know of one, let me know. I’d be interested in seeing it.

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Apparently, a plaster bust of Elvis Presley wept “miracle” tears on the 25th anniversary of this death.
Posting this, I’m trying to think of an amusing punchline but, in fact, I can’t. All I can think of to say is, “Uhmmm….. okaaaayyy…..”

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This is my absolute, all time favourite joke:

A priest, a rabbi, and and a lawyer carrying a duck under his arm all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously and finally says, “What is this, a joke?”

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I’ve been living in Australia for over three years now. I’ve managed to pick up most of the dialect, and I even use some of it, although my speech is still distinctively American and so is my accent.

In the time I’ve been here, I’ve had to learn new words to describe the things I want. I’m not talking about pronunciation, although that can be confusing enough (you say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to, let’s call the whole thing off…). I mean actual words and phrases that are really quite different. It can be frustrating at times.

Here are just a few that immediately come to mind:

Then there are the phrases that I just find odd. Like someone says they’ll see
you “Tuesday week,” which means “a week from Tuesday.” Or the phrase “fall pregnant” instead of “become pregnant” or “get pregnant”. I always find that one pretty amusing. Like you were just walking along and you tripped and WHOOPS! You’re pregnant!

And on the subject of pregnancy is the weird use of the phrase “pregnant to” instead of “pregnant by”. In other words, I was “pregnant to Andrew”.

Some Aussie phrases are pretty good, though. Like “down the gurgler” for “down the toilet”. But Cool Australian Phrases is probably a topic for another mini-essay on another day, I think. As for me, I normally use some “cool” Aussie phrases and words if I like them, and I use Australian names for things if I must (such as asking for paracetemol in the chemist, since they probably won’t know what acetominophen is). When I’m tired or distracted, I still use the American dialect, though, and some things I just plain refuse to say, like “pusher” instead of “stroller” (you know, a little chair with wheels that you put a baby in).

Thankfully, Andrew can translate when necessary. He’s bi-dialectic.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A: A fsh.

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